A Business Deal
by comewhatmay.x
Summary: When the two most dangerous people join forces on the Upper East Side, no one will be safe. But what happens when their relationship turns into something so much more? Business and pleasure don't mix after all. Ca/B, C/B
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

* * *

"A business deal" she echoes, her voice quavering slightly. This boy has broken her before.

"A business deal," he repeats. "My father has threatened to cut me off unless I return to New York a _respectable, _man" He spits out the words with disgust "And what better way to demonstrate my responsibility than to show up with a girlfriend? Particularly one with your reputation."

"And what do I get?"

He leans over and whispers her favourite word in her ear, his breath sending shivers down her spine. Sitting back in his seat, his hand gripping a tumbler of scotch he smirks as he sees her thinking over his proposal.

She pushes a lock of brown hair away from his face before bringing her ruby lips tantalizingly close to his.

She smiles,

"Deal."

…

When they arrive back in New York they make sure their hands are firmly clasped for all to see. Blair rolls her eyes behind her sunglasses as some fourteen year old snaps their picture. Gossip Girl was useful after all. As luck would have it (and careful planning on their part), their arrival is perfectly timed with one of the biggest events of the season.

Blair smooths out the purple silk of her dress before straightening his matching bowtie. He rolls his eyes.

"What?" she asks, eyes innocent "My _boyfriend_ can't look anything other than perfect"

He rolls his eyes again, but despite himself, he smiles at her ministrations. His arm slinks itself comfortably around her waist as they walk through the doors and into the brightly lit ballroom.

There are gasps of surprise all around. And he smirks as he turns to his girlfriend and kisses her for the world to see.

And as she kisses him back, she opens her eyes and turns her head ever so slowly to gauge their reactions. Serena's look of surprise and trepidation (_she doesn't understand)_, the jealous stares from the society girls scorned by him (_most of those bitches deserved it),_ the obvious astonishment in her mother's eyes _(Blair will never have her approval anyways. Why should she try and earn it?)_, and the mix of surprise and anger in Nate's blue eyes as his jaw falls open _(he's just like Serena. He'll never understand what it means to be Blair Waldorf)_.

He releases her lips as she finds the one whose reaction she sought. His eyes are wild, his lips pursed and his hands fisted at his side. Chuck's anger is so palpable she swears she can feel his heated breath as Carter Baizen threads his fingers through hers.

She winks at him as Carter turns to grab champagne from a passing waiter. This is vengeance, pride, redemption, lust, and retaliation rolled into one, and Blair Waldorf has never tasted anything sweeter.

* * *

tbc

**AN: I was deliberately vague about the when this happened exactly in order to set up the scene, but everything will be clearer in the next chapter. Oh, and I didn't mention the pairings deliberately..though I think I haven't even decided that yet!  
**


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: This takes place after 3.17, Blair goes on a two week vacation after she breaks up with Chuck, without Serena. C/J never happens (because it makes me sick & whose brilliant idea was it to make nearly every character sleep together? And Chuck's adoptive mother is Jenny's stepmom. Ugh. Anyways, end rant./). Chuck trading Blair for the Empire does happen.**

**I don't want to draw this out for too long, so I don't plan on making it more than eight or nine chapters, probably less. **

**Carter/Blair/Chuck triangle (isn't that just delicious?). Oh, and this chapter takes place before the prologue.**

**

* * *

**

"Another" Blair Waldorf slurs, slamming her glass onto the bar. The bartender eyes the brunette cautiously, his hand hovering over the glass.

Blair glares at him, "_Please"_ she bites out with venom.

The bartender gives her another shot, subtly watching her out of the corner of his eye. She was quite a pretty little thing, her recently bronzed skin glowing in a green summer dress, her eyes slightly glazed over and her red lips pursed as she scans the bar.

Out of nowhere, a hand swoops in and grabs her shot, downing it in one gulp. Blair turns slowly, her vision blurring slightly at the edges, her glare ready to meet the offender.

"Hello Beautiful"

She frowns as she meets the hazel-green eyes of one Carter Baizen. Blair resists the childish urge to stick her tongue out, instead motioning to the bartender for another.

This time, the bartender resists, shaking his head at the brunette and before Blair can unleash her fury she is pulled back by a strong arm.

"Come on now beautiful, what's with the Serena act?"

She growls slightly, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she attempts to slide gracefully from the bar stool. The seat is a lot higher up than she remembers, and the floor rushes up suddenly to meet her face as she tumbles forward.

Despite the haze of alcohol, Blair is acutely aware of being pulled upright by a pair of strong arms clad in a hunter green polo.

She pouts even more, attempting to escape those hazel-green eyes and the scent of Burberry, but her limbs don't seem to be connected to her brain as she clutches onto Carter.

He smirks _(Chuck, Chuck, Chuck)_, but like the gentleman he was raised to be _(Nate, Nate, Nate)_, he helps her out of the bar, half carrying her to the bank of elevators.

He presses the button for the penthouse, and Blair nods against his chest in approval; _she was a Waldorf after all. _Where else would she stay?

…

Now Carter Baizen would like to make one thing explicitly clear. If this were any other girl she'd be writhing underneath him at this moment, not drooling on his shirt as he attempted to root through her purse for her room card.

Blair slaps his hands away with as much strength she can muster, extracting the key card from between dollar bills, lipstick, and a tiny bottle of pills that rattle slightly. Carter cannot make out the name.

They stand at the door, a moment of trepidation passing through them. Blair purses her lips slightly and tries to push past him, into the suite, but once again she finds the floor closer to her face than she'd like.

Carter is quick to catch her again, deciding it would be best if he at least got her into bed. He's not sure where this, er, _caring_, no, _friendly_ instinct kicked in, but he is sure that Blair Waldorf would not be a happy camper if she woke up to cold tiles. And he's almost completely sure she would hunt him down.

So he carries her into an expansive bed, taking off her excessively high heels, but deciding against removing her dress _(God knows he won't be able to control himself then)_. He tucks her in, turning to go when a tiny voice murmurs,

"Stay."

Carter shakes his head, closing the suite door behind him. He wasn't really quite so in control.

…

He _could_ be back down at the bar, or perhaps with that blonde he had been eyeing. Instead Carter is typing Gossip Girl's blog address in. _Yeah he's surprised too_.

He may have known her practically her entire life, and yes he did sleep with her, and oh, he left her too _(but that was Chuck and Serena's fault)_, but he also knows Blair Waldorf does not get this drunk, and she definitely does not go on random two week vacations.

So he reads through her and Chuck's story with disgust.

_His girlfriend. For a hotel? Really, Bass? That's a new low._

...

Unlike most people, Blair never blacks out when she drinks. She can remember nearly every detail with alarming clarity. Which is why she is surprised to find herself in her bed, without her shoes, her dress intact her curls mussed.

She sits up a little too fast, before rushing to the bathroom and throwing up _(without the help of her finger this time)_. As she retches over the porcelain she is hit with an alarming number of images. Most of them involving a hazel-green eyed boy who _didn't _take advantage of her. She also vaguely remembers asking him to stay.

The thought is nearly enough for her to lean her head over the toilet and throw up again.

…

When he hears the knock on the door Carter groans into his pillow. Who the _fuck_ was bothering him at such an ungodly hour?

He's not hungover, but damn did Gossip Girl write a lot of things about Chuck and Blair. And okay, maybe he did read them all until his eyelids grew heavy and he realized it was five am.

He's slightly more awake when he realizes that on the other side of the rich polished mahogany is Blair Waldorf. He represses the urge to grab her and kiss her full on the lips, instead opting for a simple "Hello Beautiful. I see you and hangovers get along well"

She sends him a withering glare before clearing her throat,

"I wanted to thank you" She says stiffly, her brown eyes downcast.

"For?" he asks, a small smirk playing on his lips. Blair sighs inwardly.

"Last night. I wanted to thank you for bringing me back last night. And not taking advantage of me"

"Anytime beautiful," the small smirk has grown considerably and it reminds Blair of Chuck so she turns to leave. She's said her piece.

Before he thinks about what he's doing _(he blames his tired, sleep-deprived brain) _he reaches out and grabs her tiny wrist.

"Wait. What are you doing for breakfast?"

She smiles slightly, covering up her surprise.

"It's two in the afternoon Carter"

"Lunch then."

"Been there, done that. The shrimp salad is superb by the way."

"Dinner?" He asks with a charm perfected over years.

"And why would I want to have dinner with you?"

"To thank me?"

"8pm, you can pick me up at my suite. Don't be late"

He smiles.

…

"This is the last time Carter."

"What?"

"The last time. I mean it. Your mother and I have been talking and we think it's time for you to come home, settle down."

Carter barked a laugh, "And why would I want to go back?"

"Like I said, this is the last time I dump money into your accounts Carter. When it runs out you will return home"

"And if I don't?"

"We both know you will. Carter you may like to give off the impression that you want no part of this lifestyle your mother and I have worked so hard to give you." He suppressed a snort. The day Arthur and Victoria Baizen worked for _anything_ would the same day pigs flew. "However, we both know that's not the case. You're too accustomed to the luxuries you've grown up with. If you do not come home I will cut you off completely."

"I'd like to see you try," he says with finality, slamming his phone down onto the table.

He needs a drink. Hell, he needs a lot of drinks.

…

By the time eight rolls around, it's safe to say that Carter Baizen is a little past drunk. He shows up at Blair's room and knocks, his tie a little loose, his hair a little mussed.

She opens the door, a vision in a white slip of a dress, and he smirks lazily.

"Hello Beautiful," he drawls, but Blair catches the familiar whiff of scotch and wrinkles her nose.

"Carter Baizen, you get a date with _me_ and you show up drunk?" She turns on her heel, slamming the door in her wake. But although his vision is blurring at the edges, he manages to catch the door, opening it and stepping inside, following the brunette.

"If you're too dense to understand that slamming the door in your face was _not_ an invitation inside, I'll make it clearer for you. Leave. Now"

"And what will you do Waldorf? Sit here and watch Audrey all night? Seems to me like I'm a more _enjoyable_ option." His smirk grows at her narrowed eyes, "Besides, I took care of your drunken ass last night. I think it's time you return the favour. Although, if you I do ask you to stay, I don't expect you to leave"

"You're insufferable" she growls, but not before grabbing his arm and depositing him on a plush couch.

"Care to join me for a bottle of vodka?"

…

Three hours later and it's safe to say that Carter Baizen is no more intoxicated than when he showed up at Blair's door. _Blair_ on the other hand, is running around in a filmy white slip, quoting Audrey, who is playing on the TV, and there is a vase leaning precariously on its side.

Carter pushes the vase out of harm's way before Blair drunkenly sways his way.

She squeals as she tumbles into his arms gratefully.

"I'm hungry" She declares, picking up the phone and pressing the button for room service.

And as Blair begins to list off the most complicated order in the world, Carter rests his chin in his hands, noting her flushed cheeks and bright eyes, and the way the strap of her slip slid down one golden bronze shoulder.

"..and I want that with oranges on the side cut like a flower. A flower, do you understand! And apple juice, the freshly squeezed kind. Oh! And pancakes in the shape of a giraffe. With extra maple syrup! I love syrup! And ducks! Rubber ducks!"

And Carter wrestles the phone out of her hands as she proceeds to harass the person on the other end.

"Hope you got all that," he drawls lazily, before hanging up.

He turns to Blair, whose red lips are pouting.

"What?"

"I never got to order my strawberry-mango-pineapple smoothie with shrimp on the side!"

He laughs and she pouts, and they tumble into the couch together, his lips crashing into hers. He's sure she won't remember this in the morning, but he sure as hell will.

…

"My head hurts" She moans into her pillow, trying to block out the glare of the morning sun.

"So does mine, sweetheart"

And Blair attacks him as best she can, lifting her arm and swatting in his general direction.

"Blair!" he growls, massaging the eye she nearly poked out.

"This is your fault," she retorts "If you'd never gotten hideously drunk in the first place, I wouldn't be lying here with a massive hangover and syrup in my hair. And _why_ is there a feather boa on the couch?"

But Carter only groans, leading Blair to swat him again.

"Ow!"

"Sorry," she mutters as Carter massages his shoulder.

"You know Waldorf, I thought the plan was for you to take care of _my_ drunken ass last night"

"Yeah, well things don't seem to go according to plan anymore"

"Care to elaborate?"

"No."

"Fine"

"Fine"

"Lovely choice of clothing by the way."

To Blair's terror, she is clothed in nothing but a filmy white slip, the black lace of her bra clearly visible.

"You asshole!" she hits him now, though her aim hasn't improved much. "Taking advantage of drunk girls, you _pig!_"

He holds her fists as far away from his chest as he can manage, the sunlight glaring through the windows, momentarily blinding him.

"Relax, we didn't do anything" _Except that kiss_, he thinks, but Carter knows better than to bring this up.

"Are you sure?" Her voice is slightly high pitched, and he laughs at this.

"Trust me; I'd remember if I fucked you. If I remember correctly, the last time we-"

But his reminiscing is cut short as Blair hits him squarely on the chest.

"Ow, Blair! Enough with the domestic violence act. If you wanted to play rough, all you had to do was ask."

His words remind her of another man, and she feels sick as she tumbles into the bathroom, retching the contents of her stomach into the toilet for the second morning in a row.

She wobbles back into the bedroom, a frown etched into her features.

"Carter," she begins slowly, slightly unsure. "Why is the tub filled with rubber ducks?"

…

Two hours later, Blair Waldorf has rid her suite of the offending ducks and remaining pancakes (which were in the oddest shape she had ever seen), her hair is clean and she lazily reclines on a chaise, her sunglasses blocking out the glare of the sun.

She frowns as Carter makes his way over to her, a smirk in place.

"You look like you just got hit by a bus"

"Well you certainly don't, beautiful"

She huffs and grabs her smoothie from her side, returning to the more pressing matter at hand. How could _anyone_ have let that skank into the pages of this magazine, clothed in a Waldorf Original? Ugh.

Carter flops down beside her anyways, his hand shielding his eyes from the sun.

"So what brings you here Waldorf?"

"We're in the Caribbean," she replies simply, her eyes never leaving the page"It's customary for people to lounge in the sun"

He rolls his eyes behind his sunglasses, "But what brings you all the way over here by your lonesome? And why ever are you downing enough martinis to put even _me_ to shame. Bass too busy playing CEO?"

He watches with pleasure as she stiffens at his name, nearly ripping out a page of her magazine. He knows, of course, why she is unaccompanied.

"If you want," he whispers, his lips hovering over her ear "I'll take his place"

"We're over." She states, her mouth forming a grim line.

"Why?"

"He traded me." Tears sting at the corners of her eyes as she remembers the betrayal, still fresh in her mind "For a _hotel"_

"I'm not surprised"

She snorts delicately, and Carter's eyes widen slightly in surprise. Since when did Blair Waldorf snort?

"Neither am I" she whispers, but he pretends not to hear, flopping back into his seat and letting a tentative peace settle between them.

"Well, I must say _I'm_ glad to see you here."

"Shut it, Baizen. I'm not interested"

He smirks slightly before leaning over her chair, capturing her lips in his. Shock reverberates through Blair, but her hands push themselves into his hair and she finds her lips parting.

Smiling, Carter pulls away, taking in her heaving chest and flushed cheeks.

_It was definitely better than kissing Serena. And that's saying alot.  
_

"Just leave me alone," she spits out, stalking away.

…

Three hours after Blair unceremoniously left him outside, and fifteen minutes after he kicked the blonde out of his room, Carter decides to grant his father the pleasure of another conversation. Instead, he frowns as he takes in the three missed calls and two voicemails from his father. If he wanted his approval, he was going to have to work for it.

Normally, Carter would've taken his father's warnings without heed, knowing that eventually that his mother would convince his father to provide him with just a little more money. And maybe he would come home soon. This time, something in his father's voice scared him, casting doubt into his mind.

He may be a wanderer at heart, but he wandered in _style_. There was hardly a night at a two-star hotel, and there definitely wasn't any day he spent truly working.

So Carter decided he would go back, and he would win his father over just enough to get his money and leave.

And he knew exactly how to do that.

…

"Carter, I thought I told you to leave me alone" Blair spits out as she takes in his crisp white polo and navy shorts. He has a smirk on his face, and his eyes are watching her carefully as she sips another martini.

"I have a business proposition."

Blair throws an annoyed glance his way.

"I don't care"

"Hear me out. My father has requested I go back to New York, and unless I do, there will no longer be any money in my accounts. I need to convince him I'm accountable enough, and in no time, I'll persuade him to keep funnelling money into my accounts"

"A business deal" she echoes, her voice quavering slightly. This boy has broken her before. He shoots an annoyed glance her way before responding.

"A business deal," he repeats. "My father has threatened to cut me off unless I return to New York a respectable man" He spits out the words with disgust "And what better way to demonstrate my responsibility than to show up with a girlfriend? Particularly one with your reputation."

She frowns, taking in his words slowly.

"And what do I get?"

Carter smiles as he leans over.

"Revenge"

And Blair knows exactly who this revenge entails.

She pushes a lock of brown hair away from his face before bringing her ruby lips tantalizingly close to his.

She smiles,

"Deal."

* * *

tbc


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who commented, favourited, and/or alerted this story.**** I promise some CB interaction and a bit of Chuck's POV in the next chapter. **

**I forget at what point Carter reappears in GG-but in my story he has been away from the UES since he left Blair (in season 2).

* * *

**

An almost unnatural hush fell over the plane as the passengers dropped off to sleep one by one. The wailing baby and her harried mother; the businessman with the humming laptop and a perpetual frown on his face; the young teens gabbing away behind magazines; all were sleeping in the comfort of their first class cabin. Blair allowed herself to relax slightly, still gripping onto a sleeping Carter's hand. He had smirked when she grabbed it, but she merely told him that if someone snapped a picture of them holding hands, it would only aid their charade.

Truth be told, Blair was just slightly afraid of flying. She hated the wide openness of the sky, free of confines of yellow lines and cement blocks. How did these pilots know what direction they were heading in anyways? There was too much freedom here in the sky. She felt utterly out of control once airborne and flying _commercial_ only made it worse. But their last-minute notice left them no option but to fly in a cabin with _other people_ and dry air that was making Blair's hair frizzy.

And holding onto Carter's hand for dear life, while he smirked lazily and drew circles on her wrist, well, it helped. But it did nothing to appease the squirming feeling in her stomach. If anything, it made it _worse._ A tiny, minuscule part of her brain told her that it had something to do with the light headed, dizzy, room-spinning out of control feeling she felt when he had kissed her. It was nothing like she had experienced before.

When Chuck kissed her, it was passion, need and lust all wrapped lovingly in a violently heated kiss. With Nate, it was all comfort and stability with a slight edge of what could only be described as puppy dog love. But with Carter, the room spun before her eyes and she could barely breathe as she clung to him tightly.

A sigh escapes her lips as she thinks about the brunette boy back home, wondering if he's enjoying being alone with only his _hotel_ to keep him company. She lets a small part of herself yearn for him, the same part that forgives him because she'd told him that she would stand by him through _anything_. All because she, unexplainably, inexplicably, _loved_ him.

Blair wonders if Chuck understands love, and all that it entails; the fights, the tears, the smiles, and the promise that you would never betray the other. She loved him that much that she went to Jack, and although Chuck had never physically pushed her to Jack, had never directly asked, it was him who had thrown her into Jack's greedy arms.

Both Chuck and Blair knew that she would do anything for him, including saving his hotel-the brick and mortar incarnation of everything he had worked for; a reformed reputation, his father's approval, and _success_-by going to Jack.

He had banked on the fact that she loved him enough, was desperate enough to save his hotel. Chuck knew that if Blair had refused, she would never be able to come to terms with her choice. He knew if Blair had the chance to save his hotel, she would take it because she was that desperate to save his hotel in order to save _him_.

He had gambled with her heart; the one thing she had entrusted him to take care of.

And he had won.

(But she had lost)

…

When Blair finally fell asleep, her head lying ever-so-innocently on his shoulder, her vise-like grip loosening, Carter cracked an eye open, letting his gaze wander over the girl next to him.

She was so tiny, so perfect, yet with an air about her that rendered her nearly unbreakable. _Nearly_, because Carter was pretty sure Chuck had shattered this perfect little thing, and his heart constricted slightly as an alien emotion swept over him, invading his mind and caressing his heart. His heart felt like an effervescent cloud of champagne, bobbing happily along a fluffy cloud, while his mind twisted and turned at a neck-breaking speed, thoroughly confusing him.

He chose to ignore the odd twinge in his stomach as he shifts slightly, letting go of her hand in order to draw her closer. Blair sighs softly, burrowing her head into his chest.

_What's gotten into him?_

…

"What's on your mind, Beautiful?"

"Nothing, I'm just glad to be home" Blair replies, eyes glued to the scenery passing outside. She truly was glad to be home, Blair loved no place like she loved New York. It was her kingdom.

Blair turned to face Carter, frowning as she noticed his eyes on her.

"Let's get our story straight"

"I've already got it down Blair, just like the last four times you've asked me."

"It's only been two!"

"Since we got into the car. And twice before that as we picked up our luggage, and before that-"

Blair holds up her hand, effectively cutting him off.

"Okay, but one last time."

Carter rolls his eyes, but acquiesces.

"I saved you from some guy who was getting too close while you were drunk, and carried you up to your suite and took care of you. Fuck Blair, this doesn't even sound like me" But with a quelling glance from Blair he continues, "We went out for dinner the next night, and the next, and you decided to come home in order to keep up with your perfect grades. You left me at the hotel, but I chased after you. Happy?" He grumbled. The story was so _Prince fucking Charming_ that it didn't even sound remotely like him. If anyone believed them, it would be a miracle.

"Perfect." Blair says her façade already on as she smiles calculatingly, glancing up at the approaching hotel.

"Ready?" he asks as they pull up in front of the hotel.

Blair only smiles, accepting his proffered hand and smoothing out the purple silk of her dress before straightening his matching bowtie. He rolls his eyes.

"What?" she asks, eyes innocent "My _boyfriend_ can't look anything other than perfect"

He rolls his eyes again, but his arm slinks itself comfortably around her waist as they walk through the doors and into the brightly lit ballroom, a hundred pairs of eyes gracing upon the new arrivals.

"Oh, and Baizen?"

He lifts an eyebrow at her as the gasps fill his ears.

"You better make this kiss believable" she says with a coy smile, before he smirks at her, tipping his head forward and capturing her lips in his.

When they break apart, Carter can feel Chuck Bass' eyes burning into his back, and he catches the imperceptible wink Blair sent Chuck as he turns to grab champagne from a passing waiter.

"Perfect" he breathes into her ear, and she smirks back at him, tipping her glass forward in victory.

…

_Two weeks later_

"Another Gossip Girl blast about the new King and Queen of the Upper East Side," Carter drawled idly as he watched Blair change her dress for the fourth time. Not that he minded, of course. It offered him a lovely view of her breasts cupped in pink and black lace and her rather perfect ass, even if he did have to crane his neck and glance into the mirror.

"Looks like our plan is falling into place," she smirked, making her way over to her boyfriend. "How's this one?" Blair twirled, her ice blue dress swishing slightly around her knees.

"Great. Like the last four. Now can we please go?" Carter's petulant voice made Blair smile; before she had to remember that he wasn't actually a _real_ boyfriend. She couldn't get attached.

The last two weeks had been nothing short of perfect. Carter played the part of adoring boyfriend better than Chuck had when they were _truly_ dating. Blair had not seen him since he stormed out of luncheon, his steps swift and meaningful as he meandered around the glowing couple.

But Carter and Blair had made sure that they were seen _everywhere_. Feeding ducks at Central Park, him walking her to class in NYU, kissing her outside her building, holding hands as they browsed Tiffany's, and Blair had covertly slipped a Barney's salesgirl a few bills after the all-too-willing blonde had alerted Gossip Girl of their supposed foray into the dressing rooms together.

They were glowing, happy, in love, and perfect on the outside. But the façade cracked soon after they left the prying eyes of the outside world. Blair's bright smile would vanish when she read about the revolving door of women parading in and out of the Empire. Carter never knew what to do with her when they were in private, usually leaving her with a chaste kiss that left him wanting more.

Her earrings glinting brightly on her ears, her perfectly calculated smile in place, Blair accepted Carter's hand and they stepped into the elevator.

"Where to this time, Beautiful?"

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that when we're alone" she replied, eyeing him scornfully "And you're the one who asked me to lunch today. Shouldn't you have figured out where to go?"

"Of course. I was merely asking if you'd prefer Italian or Greek. I've made reservations at your favourites."

"Italian." Her words are carefully measured, and Carter _knows_ he's gotten under her skin.

He smiles.

…

Over lunch, Carter realizes something.

He chokes on a piece of salmon as Blair frowns slightly, rubbing circles on his back as she played the part of concerned girlfriend..

"I'm fine" he muttered, downing the rest of his scotch as he pushed back his seat and made his way to the bathroom.

Gripping the sink, he stares into his own eyes and finds something-a piece of himself that he forgot about long ago. His eyes are brighter and clearer, unmarred by the haze of drugs, and there is a little something that looks a whole lot like _love. _This epiphany, coupled with his earlier realization over the fact that he's falling for Blair Waldorf is nothing short of frightening.

Yet at the same time, it's compelling and exciting, and it's odd because Carter _knows_ he's not a one-woman guy. He _knows_ that Serena was merely a blip on his radar that stayed a bit longer because he was fascinated with her golden hair and sparkling personality. And, okay, the sex was pretty mind-blowing too.

But _Blair_, she's a whole other story. She teases him and laughs with him, and he'd almost believe that she is genuine, but then Carter reminds himself that this is a charade, mere pretence, a clever ruse. And suddenly, his business deal is thriving, but he finds himself wanting out.

Blair Waldorf's gotten under his skin and into his heart, wormed her way in so deep he can't help but fall slightly in love with her. It disgusts him and thrills him, and he can no longer lust after wavy blonde locks when he has chocolate brown curls that are soft as silk when he runs his hands through them.

"Shit," he whispered.

…

It shouldn't be this easy.

_Pretending _to be utterly in love with Carter Baizen should not be this simple, light-hearted affair. Blair should have been trying to quell her distaste as he threaded his fingers through her hair and attacked her lips with his. She should be pushing down the retorts that threatened to leave the tip of her tongue.

Instead, the two found out that they actually _enjoyed_ each other's company, Carter being a suitable replacement for a scheming partner as Blair ranted about NYU, and Blair found herself enjoying the easy banter. Every time her phone let out a chime, as it did at this moment, the part of her that hoped it would be Chuck grew tinier and tinier. Instead, the name Carter Baizen flashing across the screen brought a tiny smile to her carnation pink lips _(she's given up on ruby)_.

It seems that she grows more and more attached to her fake boyfriend, the tiny part of her that still loved Chuck grew even smaller.

It was an odd thought indeed.

"Carter," her voice does not betray the slight excitement in her eyes, and she thanks whoever invented the telephone. It's a lot easier to hide your emotions when you converse through wires and buttons.

"Blair," her name on his tongue is enough to send shivers down her spine. But he doesn't need to know that. "What are you doing Saturday night?"

"Studying. Finals are coming up soon and if I want to transfer to Yale I'll need my grades to stay where they are."

"And where are your grades? Unattainably, stick-up-your-ass perfect? Beautiful, you build ladders so high God wouldn't be able to climb them. But that's not the point. You know my father is rather good friends with the Dean. I'm sure he won't hesitate to recommend you once he meets you this Saturday."

"Your father is back?" Blair vaguely recalls demanding a dinner with his parents as soon as they possibly could-the sooner that was over, the better. Funny, she doesn't have the same inclination now.

"Yes and my mother called me today requesting our presence at the town house on Saturday night."

"Well I do suppose it would be rude to decline. Pick me up at 7?"

"Sounds perfect, Beautiful."

Blair rolls her eyes slightly, though the gesture is half-hearted because she knows he can't see her. And maybe also because she's growing slightly attached to the way he calls her beautiful.

"Well, I'll see you on Saturday. Wear a dark green" She chooses green because Blair's the daughter of a fashion designer and she _knows_ she looks stunning in emerald. And it can't hurt that Carter's hazel-green eyes look especially captivating set off by a dark green polo.

"As you wish," he replies, a trace of sarcasm in his voice. What was it with her and green? "Oh, and Blair?"

"Yes?" it comes out too breathless, too fast. She was thinking about his eyes, dammit.

"Thank you."

It's sincere and it's quiet, but she hears it all the same.

The dial tone in her ear is especially deafening after his quiet admission of gratitude.

…

"Blair," Serena says, almost hesitant as she stepped over the threshold of Blair's room.

"S," Blair replied, her eyes never leaving the book in front of her

"We need to talk, B" Serena sighed, her orange and pink fingernails digging into her palms "I don't know what's gotten into Carter for him to be acting so, so _un-Carter like_," at this, Blair looks up for a second, arching an eyebrow at her best friend. Surely the blonde's vocabulary was a little more _extensive_. "Come on B, taking care of you and not taking advantage of your drunken state? Definitely not Carter. When you left you said you needed a break. And then you come back with _him_ of all people? I know he's not acting like himself now Blair, but I know him better than anyone. I just don't want you to get hurt again"

"Serena," Blair's voice is measured, a sure sign that _something's_ wrong. Even Serena knows that. "I told you already. We're taking things slow. I left because I needed a break from this place; I needed a place where I Chuck Bass couldn't linger in my mind. And Carter _helped_ me S. Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"B, remember how he left you once before?"

"Serena, we've already discussed that. That was not a relationship. He had every right to leave. Apparently," Blair's eyes were blazing now, tears burning at the corners of her eyes. "he was _blackmailed _into leaving"

Serena bit the inside of her lip, "I was trying to protect you B, just like I am now"

"Well thank you S, but I can take care of myself."

"I just don't want you to get hurt again," Serena threw out desperately, knowing that her best friend's interest in the matter was waning.

"I'll be fine, S."

Blair looks at her pointedly, and Serena blinks the tears out of her eyes before closing the door behind her. But before she can take two steps, something grips her, and she flies back into Blair's room, slamming the door open.

Blair's eyes still don't leave the textbook as she lazily drawls, "No need for the dramatic entrance S"

And before she can stop herself, Serena blurts everything out "Blair, I don't want you to be with Carter" before Blair can get a word in, Serena holds up a hand "It's not because you're too good for him, which you definitely are. B, you're my best friend. I don't want you to get hurt, and I _know_ how much it hurts when Carter leaves, because I've gone through that. A few times. And I would be lying if I said that it doesn't hurt that my best friend is parading him around, and with you he's everything that I _hoped_ he would be. B, you know I'm with Nate, and I love him, I really truly do. But with Carter, well, I really did love him for a time. And I'm not saying that I still love him. But it hurts, B. And I don't-"

Serena stops suddenly in her heartfelt babble when she notices that Blair is curled up on her bed, her shoulders shaking, not with tears, but with _laughter._

"S, as usual you're taking things too seriously. Carter and I aren't _actually_ dating."

"What?" Serena knows she's not the brightest bulb in the box, but surely the kisses and the dates meant they were at dating.

"Carter needs to prove to his parents that he's worthy of another few thousand so he can go wandering around the world again. I'm simply helping him demonstrate his responsibility to his parents. When everything's right in the world again, we'll break up on friendly terms because I will be going to New Haven in the fall" Blair frowns slightly; their break up was something they disagreed on. She had wanted them to break up on friendly terms, so Chuck wouldn't be able to offer _comfort_, but Carter had wanted a huge fight-something that he could use as a solid excuse for leaving town. But what would that do to Blair's reputation? Carter's parents would hate her.

Blair giggles slightly at the look of awe on Serena's face. "And you get to pretend you're over Chuck"

At this, Blair's glare returned. "I _am_ over Chuck. With or without Carter I wouldn't be going back to him anytime soon" Or ever, she added hastily.

"What happened with you guys B? You were so happy, even with Jack around. And then suddenly it was gone and Chuck had his hotel back, and you came to me in tears."

"I can't say Serena," Blair says, shaking her head slightly, memories of that night flooding back. And she had tried so hard to forget.

"B.."

"You were right. He got his hotel back but he lost me. Jack agreed to give the hotel back to Chuck after certain _terms_ had been met."

A moment of silence passes between the two, and Serena remembers the tears Blair shed that night, and the way she had cringed when Serena touched her arm. _No, it couldn't be._

"No," Serena's voice is deadly soft, her eyes wide and her hands quivering with fury.

"Yes," Blair said, shaking her head slightly. "Jack and I-it didn't go any farther than a kiss. But it was meant to be more than that. I was led to believe that _Jack_ had set this whole thing up. No," she shook her head harder, her brown curls flying about "_Chuck_ had sold _me_ out for his hotel. For the damn pile of steel and bricks. _Me_"

"Oh B," Serena shakes her head as she gathers her best friend into her arms. She waits for Blair's tears to stop, silently cursing her step brother in her head. "You can have Carter if you want." She says playfully, attempting to lighten the mood.

Blair laughs slightly through her tears, "He's a good _distraction_, I'll give him that. But no, Carter and I, we'll never amount to anything. No need to worry, S. I'm over the Basstard, and once this business deal between us is terminated, I'll still be fine."

"If you're sure B"

"Don't you know S? I'm always sure" Blair smiles at her best friend and Serena sighs inwardly.

What a beautiful, tangled web of lies they had crafted.

…

"Serena knows," Blair mentions offhandedly as Carter picks her up at 7 on the dot, immaculately dressed in a dark green silk shirt and coordinating dark grey slacks. The silk matches Blair's dress perfectly, a gorgeous dark emerald creation, complete with a basque waist and a band of black silk that accentuated her tiny waist and gathered into a loose bow.

"About us? The whole world knows, we've made sure of that"

"No, about the fact that there really is no_ us"_

"Oh"

"She deserved to know, she's my best friend" Blair's words don't sound convincing, even to her.

"Chuck Bass is her stepbrother"

"And she's my best friend," Blair spits out angrily, turning to face the window. "She won't breathe a word. I promise"

Carter takes in her rigid posture and sighs, sliding an arm around her waist, though no one can see them. "As long as you're sure, beautiful"

"I am" she replies stoutly, her posture softening slightly, despite the harsh tone of her voice.

"Good, because we're about to meet my parents and I need to make a good impression"

"I've met your parents Carter," Blair says with a shake of her head, a laugh escaping her lips.

"But not as my girlfriend" he says, a smirk playing on his lips.

And as Blair gazes into the depths of his hazel green eyes, she almost believes the sincerity in his voice. But then the words _pretend _and _business_ pop into her mind.

…

If there's one talent that Blair possesses, it is her ability to charm even the bitchiest of parents. Victoria Baizen fawns over her dress and her necklace (she wears a simple necklace with a sizeable diamond that dipped in the crevice between her breasts. She knows Chuck would appreciate this and the thought makes her smirk), and Arthur praises her academic stature, mentioning that NYU was not deserving of the gem that was Blair Waldorf.

Blair laughed and blushed slightly, before Carter mentions her dream of attending Yale over potato and leek soup. Arthur had smiled and waved his hand airily, mentioning that if his connections were deemed useless to Carter, she should put them to good use. Blair had grinned up at Carter. Their plan was falling perfectly into place.

"Darling, it really was good seeing you. Next time your mother is in town I'd love to have lunch with the both of you." Victoria smiles down at Blair as they wait for their respective men to finish their 'discussion' in the study.

Blair smirked inwardly, Victoria Baizen was nothing but smitten with her son's new girlfriend.

"Of course, Mrs. Baizen" Blair said sweetly, "Dinner was wonderful, thank you for having me over"

"It was our pleasure, Blair." Arthur Baizen's deep voice echoes through the room as he enters, Carter trailing behind, a giddy smile playing at the corners of his lips as he wraps his arm around his girlfriend.

Blair smiles a smile of her own as he kisses her forehead affectionately.

"A pleasure as always, mother, father" Carter nods as he leads Blair out of the townhouse and into the waiting car. His father's proud smile of approval only served to make Carter's grin wider, and he notes his mother's adoring gaze upon his girlfriend.

"So what did your father want to talk to you about?" Blair asks, once safely ensconced in the darkness of the town car.

"Business," Carter smirks. Blair raises an eyebrow, but his smirk only grows wider as she frowns.

"Well, your mother certainly approved of me"

"Who wouldn't? You're Blair Waldorf" and at this, a grin appears on her lips too, and suddenly they're both wearing matching grins of glee.

A blush creeps onto Blair's cheeks, and she turns her gaze towards the cars speeding outside. But her hand is still entwined with his.

"He said he's proud of me" Carter said into the darkness, to no one in particular. Blair's not sure if he said it to her or if he's simply revelling in his father's pride."He said that all my 'debauchery and hopeless travels' have finally amounted to something" The tinge of reverence in his voice surprises Blair.

She turns to him to find his eyes on her, and something tugs at her heart almost painfully. Carter is the first to turn his head, gazing into space.

"He asked me to help him with a business merger," Carter continued, almost as if saying the words out loud finally made them more _real_. "He's never asked for my help before"

Blair smiles slightly, noting the glow of his father's pride that was definite in Carter's eyes. He so desperately reminded her of another lost boy yearning for his father's approval.

"I'm proud of you too" she says, the words leaving her lips before she has a chance to stop them.

Carter's eyes jerk to Blair's, his expression a carefully constructed mask.

"I mean-I'm proud of you for actually committing to something for once. Even if this is just a fake-"But Blair's seemingly disconnected ramble to explain her words is stopped by Carter's soft reply.

"Thank you" he breathes into the air, barely a sound.

The words hang in the air between them, their eyes never leaving each other's. And suddenly, Blair's heart is beating too fast, and Carter's palms are too sweaty.

But before either of them can comprehend the strange emotion overtaking them, Carter's hands are suddenly around Blair's waist as hers are simultaneously running through his hair, and their lips are locked in a frenzied embrace. Neither knows who started it, but when they break apart-cheeks flushed, chests heaving, and lips bruised-all they know is that they don't want to stop.

But the all too familiar apartment building looms into view and Carter reluctantly walks Blair to her door, his thoughts frenzied and tangled.

They share a chaste, slightly awkward kiss in front of the door, and Carter ducks his head and returns to the town car, leaving Blair with the feeling of his lips on hers and his hands roaming up and down her back.

_It's a business deal_ she tells herself, as the town car speeds away, its occupant telling himself the exact same thing.

* * *

tbc


	4. Chapter 3

Thanks again to all my wonderful reviewers-I know Ca/B isn't everyone's cup of tea so I hope you'll stick with me for this fic.

* * *

She ruined him. Blair Waldorf's completely ruined Carter Baizen and sucked every bit of _I'm Carter fucking Baizen_ right out of him, replaced that empty hole in his chest with something some would call love.

Carter comes to this realization over the course of a few days.

When the car speeds away from her apartment after their concealed kiss in the back of the town car, he directs the driver to bar.

He can't go past two drinks because an annoyingly Blair-esque voice in his head told him that he'd need to be sober for their brunch date the next morning.

Carter couldn't even bring himself to slip a little something extra in his orange juice, for fuck's sake. And the incessant droning of the couple next to him is beginning to pound into his head.

He actually _talks_ to Blair. Like, actual talking, not the sleazy comments used to make girls follow him into bed (okay, maybe some) and without him internally correcting her babble every ten seconds (because she's actually _smart. _And Blair Waldorf does not babble).

And the worst part is, the blonde waitress with the impressively low-cut scrap of black silk that served as a shirt? Carter didn't even take pleasure in openly staring down her shirt. Instead, he imagined what Blair would look like in that top. And then he imagines how good she'd look with that top _off_.

Ruined. Carter Baizen is ruined for anything or more importantly, _anyone_, else.

…

Blair knew that she couldn't avoid him forever. With this knowledge sound in her mind, Blair had come up with a plan. Their conversation was mapped out in her head, complete with jealous, angry outbursts from Chuck and a few mentions of her and Carter's _activities_ behind closed doors.

Sure, Chuck could tote around a bottle of scotch and a few brunette whores to throw in her face, but that could only be seen as a tantamount to his childish jealously over her new boyfriend. Even Gossip Girl had picked up that most of his bitches had the slightest resemblance to Blair.

Blair was taking the high road, and she knew that she would be over him. Eventually.

So when Blair flounced out of the Bendel's dressing room to show off her tinier-than-ever waist in a sky blue dress that even Serena would've blushed at, the blonde in question was found staring down a smirking Chuck Bass and a too-tall brunette with too much eyeliner (a la Jenny Humphrey) and smudged red lipstick, she was prepared.

"B!" Serena trilled, taking in her best friend's calm expression "That dress is amazing. Carter will _die"_

Serena watches with glee as Chuck's hands clench at the mention of Carter, and Blair's grin widens, "There's one in yellow that would look amazing with your new piece from Tiffany's, S. We can wear them out tonight, I'm sure Carter won't mind if I wear something else for his father's business dinner."

"Probably because he'll be the one taking it _off_ later tonight" Serena quips with a wink, knowing full well that Carter would be nowhere near Blair's bed, but enjoying the way Chuck's eyes seemed to be furiously glued to Blair, much to the displeasure of the girl beside him.

Blair only rolls her eyes at Serena and nods slightly, before pushing Serena off in the direction of a dress that would probably look better on her than Blair.

It's okay. Blair's the one with Carter Baizen on her arm.

"I always knew you were a whore Waldorf, now you dress the part as well?"

Blair turns slightly, her eyes never leaving the mirror.

"Well it takes one to know one, so why don't you ask the whore beside _you?"_

And before the affronted girl can reply, Chuck leers at her, his voice biting. "Jealous, Waldorf? I'm sure Tatiana here wouldn't mind sharing."

"It's _Tanya"_ the girl mutters.

"Should I be, Bass? I've got a perfect, dependable boyfriend who's _better_ behind closed doors. And you've got what? A revolving door of paid whores who are only cheap knock-offs of _me?"_

"I do not look anything like you!" Tatiana-Tanya- exclaims, only to be on the receiving end of a glare-from Chuck-and an amused laugh (from Blair).

"Funny how you deny the part about looking like _me_, which you don't by the way, I would never let my lipstick smudge like that." Blair pauses a moment to shudder, before continuing happily, "I would've thought that you'd deny the part about being paid. Make sure Chuck leaves an extra tip, your shoes are downright atrocious"

Tanya only looks at Chuck, expecting him to stick up for her at any moment, but when she notices his bored expression (and the way his eyes still haven't left the other girl) she turns around with a huff, attempting to swing her hips as she walked away. (Chuck doesn't notice this either)

"Oh look, I've hurt her feelings. Perhaps you should run after her Bass. She might need comfort-"but before she finishes her sentence, his arms are around on her shoulders, roughly pulling her towards him.

"I know you're only doing this to make me jealous Blair. I've told you how sorry I am a million times, when the _fuck_ are you going to get it?" Her eyes widen slightly, but Chuck continues on "Well congratulations, I'm fucking jealous. I want to rip Baizen's head off every time he puts his hands on you. So can you please drop the act before you do something you'll regret?"

"And who said this was to make_ you _jealous?" She can't control the bitterness in her voice as his pupils dilate in anger.

"Then why are you prancing around with the low-life Baizen, if you're not making me jealous?" he challenges. And Blair already has the perfect response planned out in her head.

"Because Chuck, I _love_ him"

And he's prepared to say that her eyes don't match her mouth again, but he _can't_.

Because either she's learned how to lie to _him_, or-and Chuck hates the thought- she's actually in love with Carter Baizen.

And as Blair prances back into the dressing room, dragging an eavesdropping Serena-sans the yellow dress-with her, he chooses to believe the former.

(he's always been good at denial)

…

"Thanks for the help in Bendel's today, S" Blair said, shooting a beatific smile at Serena as she popped another grape into her mouth "Did you see Chuck's face? Priceless"

Serena only laughed nervously, gnawing on her fingernail. Chuck's expression after Blair had dragged her away was utterly heartbreaking.

"And did you see that whore? The only thing remotely close to her about me was her hair colour. And it's closer to an L'Oreal dye job than anything else. And her dress! Out of everyone in Manhattan, he had to choose her? I mean," and at this, Blair took another sip of her martini "I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered. Insulted because he thinks that whore could look like _me_. Or flattered because he clearly misses me so much he's had to find a replacement. Not that she was a suitable replacement"

Stopping her tirade, Blair noticed that Serena was staring off into space, knotting her blonde hair around a fingernail. "S?"

"Sorry B, I'm not really in the mood to listen to you bitch about Chuck" It had come out sharper than Serena had meant it, but she was sick and tired of listening to the same diatribe over and over. It had started with windingly long accounts of her and Carter's various forays, but when that charade was dropped, Blair took to analyzing every single one of Chuck's mistakes. And Serena's attention span was only so long.

"Excuse me?" Serena knew that Blair's expression was icy and her fists were clenched before she even looked at her friend.

"B, I love you. And you love Chuck-" Serena put a hand up to silence Blair, who was going to deny it as per usual, "Let me finish. You still love Chuck, otherwise you wouldn't be throwing Carter in his face every chance you got. And you definitely wouldn't be jealous of his Blair Waldorf look-a-likes. And I _know_ Chuck still loves you. You two need to stop hurting each other long enough to understand that."

Blair barked out a laugh. "You don't understand Serena. You never will. What you and Nate have is so pure and simple compared to us. And do you really believe that he still loves me? He sold me out for a hotel. A _hotel_, S. Is that what you call love?" Blair scoffs at Serena, making her way back into her room. "I think you should leave." With that, she storms into her bathroom, deftly locking the door behind her.

"B, don't do it"

"Just go away Serena!" Blair calls over the running water.

"Blair. He's not worth it"

And suddenly, the bathroom door Serena was pressed against flew open. She stumbled onto a crying Blair, accidentally knocking them both onto Blair's plush bathroom rug.

Angrily, Blair pushed Serena off, looking disdainfully down at the blonde.

"First you tell me he still loves me, and now you're telling me he's not worth it? Come on S, get your story straight."

"Blair-"and Serena grabbed her friend's ankle, preventing Blair from moving another step.

"What are you going to do? Pin me to the ground and demand I listen?" Unsuccessfully, Blair tried to wrestle her ankle from Serena's grip. Unfortunately, the blonde was taller and she easily tackled Blair onto the rug.

"S!" Blair squealed.

Successfully pinning Blair to the ground, Serena looked down at her "Now are you ready to listen?"

Blair rolled her eyes. "Serena, this is unnecessary. Get off me!"

"No, B, not until you listen"

"Fine! Just get off me!"

Serena rolled off Blair, sitting against the opposite wall, completely blocking Blair from the doorway.

"Really, S, was that necessary? My hair is a mess"

"No one's going to see Blair" Serena said with a roll of her eyes. "Now, _sit"_

Huffing, Blair plopped down next to her best friend, crossing her arms and glaring at Serena.

"Blair, you know Chuck still loves you. I've never seen a person love another as fiercely as Chuck loves you. I know what he did was awful, but Chuck's completely and utterly sorry about it. Nate told me he hasn't seen Chuck actually sleep with any of them. He can't even _look_ at another girl."

"Then what do you call that whore in Bendel's today, S?"

"Alright," Serena admitted, "He's looked at other girls, but only because he misses you B. But I know for a fact he hasn't slept with any of them. If Nate and I weren't dating I'd say he'd be offering a shoulder to cry on to all the girls Chuck's kicked out of his suite." Serena giggled slightly, and Blair only raised an eyebrow at her friend's antics.

"It's just hard to trust him again S" Blair said, dipping her eyes downward in humiliation, "After I nearly slept with his uncle. I can't even go back to the Empire. Every time we drive past it I feel like I can't _breathe_"

"You know what Chuck's like. He pushes away anyone who loves him because he's never gotten any emotion from his father. I'm not blaming Bart, but he did play a part in this. He wasn't exactly a model parent; I mean, really, giving a suite to a fifteen year old?"

Blair smiled at the memory of Chuck handing Serena, Blair, and Nate key cards to 1812.

"_Just make sure you don't throw up all over the upholstery S. And if you do bring Georgie along, make sure you text me so I can watch" _

_Serena mock slapped her friend and smiled at him gratefully. Lily had been on Serena's case lately, berating her for her late nights and blaming her for the falling out of her and her previous boyfriend. Please, he was five years younger than Lily._

"_And you two," Chuck leered at Nate, whose arm was wrapped around Blair "Maybe Nathaniel will finally be able to convince you to lose that chastity belt Waldorf. I wouldn't mind if you guys asked for some pointers either"_

"_Chuck!" Blair squealed, scandalized. Nate only rolled his eyes at his best friend. "Come on man, she's my girlfriend"_

"_A fact that continues to surprise me, considering you still haven't tapped that"_

"_Chu-uck!"_

"I don't know, S" she admitted "I mean, it was hard enough attempting to trust him after Tuscany. And even before Jack, things weren't exactly peachy, you know? He was continually putting himself and his _hotel_ in front of me, and I can't even count the times he stood me up for dinner. And I was letting myself turn into someone else. I wasn't _Blair Waldorf _anymore. And as much as it pains me to say this S, I think I need to do the whole finding myself thing first before even considering letting Chuck back in again. I mean look what good it did for you."

"I'll take that as a compliment B," Serena said with a laugh. "But honestly, are you _Blair Waldorf _with Carter Baizen?"

Blair frowned. "We've been through this S. It's a business arrangement. Nothing more"

"But you're still using him to make Chuck jealous"

The anger and slight jealousy in Serena's voice is obvious to Blair, who lifts her head up and looks at her best friend in the eye.

"S, I told you. It's a business deal. He's using me to get his father's approval. It's a win-win really. This way, Chuck stays away from me as well, and I can get over him. And he's not exactly a horrid boyfriend either." A small self-satisfied grin works his way onto her features. "Now if only he would stop kissing me like that," she muttered.

"Chuck kissed you?" Serena's eyes are wide, her eyebrows furrowed.

Blair groans inwardly, berating herself for her slip of tongue. "No, S. Carter"

"Carter kisses you all the time, why are you complaining?"

"Because this time," Blair bites her lip, and Serena's baby blues widen as a tiny, genuine smile blooms on Blair's lips "It was different. It wasn't for show, and it felt so _real_"

There is a silent pause, and Blair lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"S?"

Serena looks at her sadly. "B, you love him."

Blair's first instinct is to scramble away and deny this, but Serena's words echo in her head, and she realizes that she has been pretending all along. She wasn't pretending to like Carter, as the original plan was, but she had been pretending that she wasn't falling for Carter, all while pretending to be his girlfriend.

So Blair sighs, and in another transparent attempt at covering up her feelings, only nodded.

"Oh, B" Serena cries, throwing her arms around Blair.

"I don't know what to do S," Blair admits softly, enjoying the newfound trust they had managed to garner.

"Well," Serena stood up, pulling Blair along "I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to go out tonight. You and me. And we'll forget about this whole mess. Carter can spend one night by himself."

"I missed you S," Blair says with a wicked grin, before pulling Serena into the closet, ready for hours of trying on dresses and shoes with her best friend.

…

"Nate?" Serena called into the seemingly empty penthouse. A sudden fear overcomes her as she wonders if Nate is out with Jenny again. Her little blonde step-sister was really getting on her nerves.

"He's not here" Chuck drawls idly, his gaze unfocused as Serena steps out of the elevator.

The blonde only shoots him a look of disgust before veering right, only to find an empty bedroom.

She sighs, turning back to the elevator. "If you see him Chuck, tell him I'm going out with Blair tonight and we can reschedule for next week." She hated that she was canceling on Nate, but Serena was sure he'd understand. This was Blair after all.

"What she's not going out with Baizen?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no. We're going out tonight. Just the two of us" Serena smiles, "It'll be good for her. Especially after everything she's been through" she shoots a glare at Chuck, but it is half-hearted when she notices his broken expression.

"I still love her" he says hoarsely, more to himself than Serena. Serena frowns, her hand hovering over the elevator button.

"Chuck…"

"Go ahead, you can tell me. She's _happy_ with that fucking asshole." Serena only shakes her head slightly.

"You guys really know how to hurt each other, don't you?"

And Serena nearly finds herself blurting out the truth, but while Chuck may be her step-brother, Blair is her best friend. And what Chuck did was unforgiveable. Blair had a right to make him jealous. Leaving him with one last sympathetic look, Serena pressed the button for the elevator.

But before the elevator arrived, Serena found herself turning towards her step-brother.

"Their relationship- It's," Serena hesitated. _This is for your own good Blair._ "It's not what you think Chuck. And if you really love her, show her. Prove to her you're finally worthy of her"

"I don't-"

But Serena didn't hear him as she stepped into the elevator, unaware of the destruction she had left in her wake.

…

"Thank you for this S," Blair giggled, as she downed another martini "It was just what I needed to forget that-"

"Chuck!"

"Yes of course Chuck, who else S?" Blair shook her head, but immediately regretted it as the room swam before her eyes. "Really, S, how many drinks have you had?"

"No, B. _Chuck's here!_"

Serena attempted to turn Blair's head towards the new arrival, but only succeeded in pitching forward in her heels, nearly crashing into the bar.

"Oh," Blair's voice is suddenly quiet as Chuck scans the room for a telltale mane of blonde hair. "S, what's he doing here? Did you tell him where we were?"

"No, B. I guess someone must have texted Gossip Girl."

"Stupid bitch," Blair muttered as Chuck's eyes caught hers and he began manoeuvring his way through the crowd. The amount of alcohol she had consumed seemed to have a sudden effect on her as the edges of her vision became blurry and she quickly decided her next course of action.

"Come on S! We have to hide!"

Pulling along a pouting Serena (who was heavier than she looked), Blair delved into the writhing crowd, attempting to lose herself in a sea of bodies.

A pair of hands settled on her hips and she turned into a guy, his blue eyes sparkling dangerously. Blair peeped up at him through her lashes, still holding onto a dancing Serena, who had managed to find a green eyed blonde that looked suspiciously like one of Nate's lacrosse teammates.

Behind his shoulder, she saw Chuck making his way towards them again, and Blair hurriedly pulled Serena away. The blonde pouted and grumbled, but they managed to lose Chuck as they made their way, panting, to the entrance of the club. Blair fumbled with her phone, the screen coming in and out of focus as she attempted to keep a firm grasp on Serena, who had a sudden urge to dance on the nearby table.

_Girls night out was a bad idea after all. Pick me up in 20? Get Nate here too-B_

"S," Blair pleaded, her friend still trying to make her way towards a table.

"S, come on. It's time to go"

Serena turned, ready to pout her way into another hour, but the look of resolve on Blair's face was clear.

"Oh fine, B. You're lucky you're my best friend you pooper" Serena said, waggling her finger in Blair's face.

Blair only rolled her eyes, sighing gratefully as her phone chimed.

_Be there in 15. Nate's on his way-C_

A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she sagged against the wall.

Out of seemingly nowhere, a pair of arms encircled her waist, and Blair let her phone close with a snap as she turned to meet Chuck's eyes.

"Get your hands off me Bass" Blair hissed, attempting to squirm out of his grip.

"Not until you talk to me," he replied calmly

"There's nothing to talk about" Blair barked a laugh, giving up against his iron grip. Her feet hurt. She accidentally mentioned this out loud and Chuck suggested she take her shoes off.

Frowning at him, Blair told him that a Waldorf never walks around barefoot in public.

Chuck only laughed again, and Blair frowned further, looking around for Serena.

"I believe she's left us," Chuck said, nodding towards the blonde on a table, a few guys cheering around her.

Blair pouted, leaning her head against Chuck's shoulder. She really was tired.

"What do you want Bass?" She asked tiredly, playing with the lapel of his suit.

"I want to know _what_" he paused, drawing circles along her back. "my sister meant when she said your relationship isn't what I think"

"She's drunk" Blair replied, suddenly feeling sober herself as she tried to extract herself from his grip, leading him to grip her tighter.

"She wasn't drunk when she came over before. See Blair, this is what _I_ think. You're only using him to make me jealous." A smug smile spread over his face, "Your relationship is nothing more than a farce"

He smiled, proud of himself.

"And what would you know about relationships?" Blair asked with a bitter laugh, "If I recall correctly, you've only been in _one_ significant relationship, and you managed to fuck that one up pretty badly."

"I said I was sorry Blair, what more do you want from me?"

"Nothing Chuck, you and I are over"

"No," he said firmly, still holding onto her waist "You and I will never be over"

"I love him Chuck,"

And there those words were again.

"No. Blair you love _me_"

"I did," she whispered her voice breaking as she tried once more to lean away from him. His grip on her tightened painfully. "But not anymore"

And Carter, with his perfect timing and all, bursts through the club, his eyes deftly searching for Blair, Nate behind him. Nate quickly finds Serena, shaking his head slightly as he made his way to the blonde, but not before finding Blair and Chuck, and pointing Carter in their direction.

His eyes flashing, Carter finds Blair attempting to squirm out of Chuck's grip as he whispers something into her ear.

"Get your hands off my girlfriend asshole,"

And Chuck's always been more of a lover than a fighter, but he finds he can't help himself when it comes to Blair and only replies "You mean your _fake_ girlfriend?"

And Blair takes this moment to stomp on his foot with her heel, and she runs into the safety of Carter's arms. Shaking her head at Carter, Blair tugged him towards the doors, not wanting to cause a scene. In turn, Chuck smirked at Carter, who only gave Chuck a withering glare before leading Blair out of the club, his hand on the small of her back.

…

"What the fuck were you doing with _him_, Blair?" Carter runs his hand through his hair, unable to comprehend the jealousy coursing through him.

"It was nothing Carter" Blair recoils slightly at the anger in his eyes, frowning as she takes in his tense posture. "He wanted me back, I said no. Besides, this," she gestured to the two of them "is _nothing_. We're not a real couple Carter, and you have no right to be jealous"

"Well, _Blair, _if you want this fake relationship over so badly, now that you've gotten Bass to fall for you again, then why don't we just end this business deal now?" He's calling her bluff, and Blair only looks at her feet, toying with her fingers.

"Because then all that we've worked for will be for nothing. I told you already Carter, Chuck and I are over. I need this because your dad can help me get into Yale next year."

"Do you realize how this looks Blair? It looks like you're using me to make Chuck jealous. What kind of fake relationship is that?"

Blair laughs slightly, the alcohol still very much present, "Carter, it's exactly that. A _fake_ relationship. Don't tell me you're falling for me" She adds teasingly, though there is an undercurrent of hope in her question.

"No," he said, leaning back into the seat, avoiding her eyes. "You're right. It's only a business deal"

"Right," she whispered.

…

Watching as the new golden couple of the Upper East Side made their way outside the club, Chuck leaned against the wall. He told her he was _sorry_, dammit. And he had done everything he could to make her forgive him. He knew that fixing this was going to take more than a few gifts and peonies, but Chuck was determined.

And what was she doing with Carter Baizen, of all people? He had heard the story of how they had met a few weeks ago, but he didn't believe one bit of it. Blair was simply looking for someone to make him jealous, and she knew that he hated Carter more than anyone. But what was in it for _Carter?_ Surely he didn't truly like Blair. Not that Blair wasn't utterly beautiful, but Carter's taste almost always ran towards the blue-eyed blondes of the world.

But Blair's voice had been _sincere_ when she had said that she didn't love him anymore. It was that sentence that had cut through him like a knife. But why would she endeavor to fake a relationship in order to make him jealous if she didn't care? Was she trying to hurt him as he had hurt her?

No, Chuck thought, it was probably due to the fact that Blair had always had another by her side. A boyfriend to fall back on when her best friend was off partying again, or when her parents were fighting, or when her dad had left her mother for another man. Blair Waldorf was almost always connected to some other guy, and there was almost never a period in her life where she was _truly_ single. Even when she had broken up with Nate, she was seeing Chuck in secret.

And Blair Waldorf was nothing but consistent. Carter Baizen was simply filling in the role of a boyfriend before Blair forgave him.

With a determined smirk on his face as he left the club, Chuck flipped his phone open, scrolling through the contacts.

"Maria, get me an appointment with Arthur Baizen. I'd love to discuss the Melville deal with him."

"Right away, Mr. Bass"

* * *

tbc


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: Thank you again to my lovely reviewers! I've finalized (somewhat!) my outline for the story, so we can expect about 6 more chapters, including the epilogue. Oh, and we finally get some other character SLs in this chapter. This story is still Ca/B/C, but I wanted a little N/S as well. Oh, and let's pretend that S suspects J's already gotten to N and is trying to break up S/N.

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**

"Blair," Carter says forcefully, glaring at the stunning brunette next to him, who is studiously watching the passing lights outside. "_Blair,"_ he snaps, and she meets his glare with one of her own.

"_What_?" she bites out venomously.

Carter sighs, running his hand through his hair, "Can you _please_ just put our differences aside for tonight? You know how important this is to me. I can't lose my father's trust. Not this time. So can you please just act like a good girlfriend tonight?"

Blair snorts, "So that's all I am to you? An accessory?" She's used these words before, she recalls, but if she can remember correctly it was in a more teasing environment.

"_Yes_," he sneers, "And I'm just a ticket into Yale to you. So don't try and act like I'm using you, because, Beautiful, you're using me too."

Blair huffs, scooting farther away from him, her arms crossed over her chest as she returns to gazing out the window.

"Blair," he sighs exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I just-"

"Whatever," Blair snaps, as the driver pulls up to the restaurant. "You're right. I don't know why we keep trying to take this _thing_," she spits out the word like venom and pretends not to notice the hurt in his eyes. "to another level. It's a business deal. Nothing else"

"Right," Carter agreed, offering his hand to her as he steps outside.

And once she leaves the confines of the town car, Blair's stunningly sunny smile is in place, and she leans into his embrace with ease. It still surprises Carter, how she can be so bitchy and irate in private, but happy and graceful in public.

Leading her towards their table, Blair smiles benevolently at a waiting Victoria and Arthur Baizen, who, in turn, grace the pair with smiles of admiration.

"Blair, darling. Lovely to see you as always"

"Thank you," Blair simpers, allowing Carter to pull her chair out. They make small talk as they wait for the other members of their party, the Dittenhoffers, O'Reiley's, and the Blakes. The three other couples join them shortly, each wife bestowing Blair with a smile of approval.

"Ah, there he is! The newest member on board this project" Arthur booms, and Blair feels the hairs on the back of her neck prickle before she even turns around.

"_No" _ Blair and Carter whispered simultaneously, their fight forgotten momentarily at the sight of Chuck Bass in an Armani suit with a seafoam green tie that matched Blair's dress perfectly. On his arm was a giggling blonde, whom the other wives looked on with distaste, denying the girl the same respect Blair had garnered.

Blair's hand somehow found his under the table, and he looked at her questioningly, but she only shook her head sadly.

…

Dinner passed by somewhat tolerably, with Amanda Blake and Marie Dittenhoffer complimenting Blair on getting Carter to 'settle' down. Blair had blushed, and Carter had grinned, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek as the other wives swooned.

Chuck had stiffened, and resumed feeding the girl who was practically in his lap, much to the revulsion of the other people at the table.

Under the table, Carter squeezed Blair's hand. Blair smiled at him, a pure genuine smile that had Janna O'Reiley exchanging a knowing look with Victoria.

"So as I was saying," Sean Dittenhoffer continued, "I believe this new venture into European markets would be greatly welcomed. And with Mr. Bass here," he nodded towards Chuck, who was still feeding Haley-something-or-other "funding a large part, we have everything we'll need for a green light on the project"

"And my son," Arthur jumped in, eager to bring Carter into this conversation "would love to head the project."

Carter gasped silently, and Blair turned to him slightly. Right here, was their perfect exit strategy. Blair Waldorf herself couldn't have planned it better.

Then why did it hurt so much?

"He does have a vast knowledge of Europe, having travelled the country for a few years now," Arthur chuckled.

"Of course, he would have to relocate to Paris for a few months," Chuck said suddenly, shooting a covert smirk in Blair and Carter's direction.

"Of course," Arthur murmured.

"Well," Blair said brightly, shooting a glare of her own at Chuck "I think Carter would be great in Europe. Of course, I'll miss you" she turned to peck her boyfriend on the lips, and the other wives swooned yet again. Ah, young love.

"I'll send the jet for you on weekends," Carter promised with a smile, keeping one eye on Chuck's seething expression.

"They do say distance makes the heart grow fonder" Blair quipped, before leaning in for another chaste kiss.

…

And while Carter and Blair put on a perfect façade in front of a fuming Chuck, Serena's phone chimed across town.

Looking at the pictures of the lovesick couple and the pained expression on Chuck's face, Serena groaned inwardly. She blamed Blair, who had turned her into a romantic with those endless Audrey marathons, and she blamed her mother, who found solace in the arms of men she didn't love in order to forget about her one true love. Well Serena wasn't going to let the same fate befall her best friend, and thanks to Blair, she was a romantic. She believed love conquered all.

Blair wasn't going to like what Serena had to do next.

…

"Don't think I'm still not on to you Waldorf"

Blair jumped in surprise. Across from the ladies' room stood Chuck Bass, leaning against the wall casually as his eyes raked over her. Blair had a sudden urge to cross her arms, or don a knee length coat. Or both.

"I told you Chuck," she said with a forced smile "I'm with Carter now, and you and I are over"

"I didn't believe you the first time, and I don't believe you now" he replied simply, still drinking her in.

Blair shifted uncomfortably under his unwavering gaze. "Well, Bass, you should've known that when you sold me out for a fucking hotel, you and I could never be together again."

"How many times are you going to bring that up?" He yelled, throwing his hands up in exasperation. A few of the tables closest to the washroom looked over and he yanked Blair's elbow, going deeper into the hallway.

"I've told you I'm sorry a million times Blair. I'll buy every diamond necklace in Tiffany's if that's what it'll take to get you back. You don't know how much I regret it," his voice was barely a whisper, and Blair found herself leaning closer to him, desperate to catch every word. "You don't know how much I miss you," he said quietly, breathing in the scent of her, so close, yet he dared not grab her by the waist and claim her lips once again.

"You don't get it, do you Chuck?" she whispered furiously. "Nothing you do will ever win me back. We're over, for good. And I need you to let go of us so we can both move on."

"I still fucking love you, Blair. What do you want me to do about that?"

"Forget _us_." She said with finality, before marching into the brightness of the restaurant, tears threatening to overflow.

Chuck cursed himself mentally in the darkness, watching her retreating figure. He didn't _want_ to forget them, and he knew that even if he tried, he _wouldn't_ be able to forget them.

…

Blair shook her head at Carter's questioning gaze, blinking back tears as she said goodbye to the others.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his hand still clutching hers firmly.

"I will be," Blair sighed, leaning her forehead against the cool glass of the window.

And because Carter was Carter, and not Nate or Chuck, he didn't press the matter further, only directing the driver to her dorm.

"No," Blair shook her head. She couldn't go back there, not tonight. Not alone. "Can I just stay with you tonight?" she pleaded, never looking directly into his eyes.

Carter nodded mutely, his thumb still tracing comforting patterns on her wrist.

"Matthew, to my apartment please"

"Yes, sir"

…

Chuck growled in frustration as he entered 1812 (having moved from his penthouse suite at the Empire to the familiar comfort of his teenage haven just yesterday), far from the glowing couple basking in admiration. He had left Haley at the restaurant, but felt no regret-she'd find her way home somehow. Chuck did, however, regret not punching Baizen square in the jaw.

He tensed when he noticed the all-too familiar blonde locks of one Serena van der Woodsen, who was perched on the end of a couch, eyeing the bed with distaste (and with good reason).

"Sis," he drawled, and Serena jumped up, attempting a small smile.

"Hey Chuck," she looked at him then, and Chuck recoiled at the emotion in her eyes. Was she _pitying_ him?

"What do you want van der Woodsen? I'd invite you to stay, but I've got a few _engagements_ later this evening"

"Eww, Chuck" and the pity in her eyes was replaced with thinly veiled disgust "moving on a little fast, don't you think?"

He barked a laugh, "Serena, I'm not the one dating _Carter Baizen_."

"Right," Serena mumbled, her eyes looking at anywhere but his "that's what I came here to talk to you about."

"Carter Baizen? S, you told me their relationship wasn't what I think. What the fuck is that supposed to mean Serena?" he walks to the bar on the other side of the room, trying to calm his rampant thoughts.

"I mean that Blair's only using Carter to-"

"I knew it!" Chuck said with triumphant glee, but another pitying glance from Serena replaced the smirk on his face "What aren't you telling me S?"

"She's using Carter, but not _just_ to make you jealous," Serena took a deep breath. _I'm so so sorry B _she thought inwardly "She's using him so you'll stay away from her, so she can get over _you_"

A flicker of hope passed across Chuck's face, but it was as fleeting as a butterfly, swiftly replaced with a scowl. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked suspiciously. Blair and Serena were more than friends. They were sisters in all but blood, had been through everything and yet it was all water under the bridge.

"Because I know she's not happy. And I know that you're the only one who can make her happy." Serena shook her head ruefully, "I'll never understand you two" she said with a small grin.

And to have Serena-Blair's _sister_, co-conspirator (when he was unavailable of course), and confidante-believe in him, well that fact alone broke down the walls Chuck had carefully constructed around his heart.

"Thank you Serena"

Serena was, in a word, shocked. Never had Chuck expressed emotion so brazenly, so _openly_. And in that moment, she knew she made the right choice by choosing to tell him. Serena knew that no matter what, Chuck and Blair would end up together, and she'd rather it happen sooner rather than later.

"Don't think that this'll be easy," Serena warned teasingly, pouring herself a scotch. She took a sip and grimaced. Serena had always been one for sugary martinis and tangy raspberry vodka shots; she didn't really enjoy scotch, and had never understood Chuck's love of the drink. "She doesn't forgive you for selling her out. And to be honest, I don't blame her"

A flash of pain replaced the hope in his eyes, and Serena was once more gripped with the desire to hug him. She shuddered, taking another sip of her vile drink. "But I know you're truly sorry. And as long as you never hurt her like that again I'll help you win her back"

"I am sorry," he said fiercely, his eyes burning with regret "You have no idea how sorry I am Serena, how much I regret my decision. I keep going back to when I made my decision, and I still have no clue what I was thinking. I kept telling myself that we would be okay. That Blair and I loved each other, and it would be enough. I should've known that love doesn't solve everything" he laughed mirthlessly, glancing at Serena out of the corner of his eye.

"See, Chuck I may not be the crazy fairytale-obsessed romantic that Blair is, but I do believe that love _can_ solve everything. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's enough," Serena flashed back to her own string of break-ups, a sting of regret passing through her chest. "But in the end, it's all that matters"

"When did you get so wise, van der Woodsen?" Chuck asked in mock awe, and Serena slapped his arm, happy to have her step-brother back; her sleazy, lewd, bowtie-loving step-brother.

"It's well known we van der Woodsens are wise beyond our years," she replied with a toss of her blonde hair and a smirk that matched his,

"Now, are we going to start Operation win back Blair or what?"

"Operation win back Blair? Really, S?"

"Shut up, Bass"

…

Carter held the door open for her as they stepped over the threshold and into his apartment. He let out a silent breath he didn't realize he had been holding. Carter didn't understand his nervousness, the fluttering in his stomach, or the twinge in his heart. They had spent the night together quite a few times, of course, with Blair taking the bed and Carter sleeping on the couch.

Gossip Girl had reported Blair walking out of his building in the same outfit as the night before, and after that she had taken precautions and stashed a few outfits in his apartment.

"I'll take the couch," he said quietly, not meeting her eyes. "You know where the bedroom is."

Blair nodded, and turned to his bedroom without a second glance, shutting the door quietly behind her. Carter sat stoically on the couch, his eyes trained on the blank TV. As he had become accustomed to, he heard the quiet slamming of drawers, the metal of her zipper, and the quiet swish of silk as she slipped into her nightgown.

And as per usual, he groaned silently, before feeling the familiar constriction of his pants. Carter had resigned himself to cold showers and other means, but this time, it seemed fate was on his side.

His bedroom door opened and Blair had stared straight at him for a moment, uttering no words before turning back, leaving the door ajar. Yet without any words, he knew what she wanted, knew that she didn't want to be alone tonight, because whatever happened between her and Chuck in that hallway had hurt her.

And Carter hated to see Blair in pain, so he stood fluidly, following her into his bedroom, where she was lying on her side. And Blair had turned her head, a few chocolate curls falling over her shoulder, her ruby lips quivering, and her eyes begging him.

So he stripped to his boxers, quickly fishing out a pair of pyjama pants and slipping them on before sliding in next to her.

There was a valley of sheets and blankets between them, but when Blair felt the shift in the mattress, heard the sigh, and smelled the now familiar scent of Ralph Lauren Polo mixed with scotch and tobacco, she crossed the distance willingly, finding herself staring into his hazel-green eyes.

A gasp of surprise escaped his lips, and Blair took the moment to press her lips to his, her hand winding its way into his hair as his hands gripped her waist.

"Blair," he whispered, his breaths laboured "What are you doing?"

The rejection stung at her, and suddenly the warmth in his arms was gone, and the valley of space was once again between them. And as Carter inched closer, he noted the way her shoulders shook silently, and imagined the tears that would be glistening in her eyes.

"Blair," he said again, his breath hot against her neck as he placed a kiss on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

She nodded imperceptibly, her curls tickling his nose as she inched farther away. But Carter was having none of it, his cock straining almost painfully in his pants.

So he did what Carter Baizen does best. Pushed all thoughts of her sleeping with revenge against Chuck out of his mind and flipped her over, kissing her with all the passion he could muster.

Blair responded instantly, her mouth moving under his as her nimble fingers found their way underneath the waistband of his pants. He hissed when she came into contact with his throbbing length, and she smiled against his lips.

Their clothes were shed soon after, and Blair was lying underneath him in all her naked glory. _God_, Carter though as he placed kisses across her stomach _how could Bass ever let her go?_

And when he thrust into her later, Blair's nails tearing at the flesh of his back, her legs wrapped around his hips, he threw all thoughts of Chuck Bass out the window.

Because here, when they were together, writhing between his sheets, her lips attacking his as he rammed into her again and again, Chuck Bass did not exist.

Here, only Carter Baizen and Blair Waldorf existed in perfect harmony, a crescendo of highs as she came apart in his arms, him following soon after.

"God, you're beautiful" he whispered into her hair.

…

"I'm sorry!" Serena said as she breezed into the coffeeshop the next morning, turning more than a few heads at her girlish squeal and blonde locks, "I'm so sorry Nate, Chuck and I were up late last night-"

Serena stopped dead in her tracks as she spotted a tall, skinny blonde with too much eyeliner and in desperate need of a haircut.

"Jenny." She said, frowning at her step-sister. "What are you doing here?"

Nate, ever the gallant white knight, stepped in "Jenny just bumped into me here Serena, while I was waiting for _you_"

"Sorry," Serena said sheepishly, still eyeing the other girl out of the corner of her eye. "Chuck and I-"

"What were you doing with Chuck?" Jenny piped up; her voice grating to Serena's frayed nerves.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she said sweetly.

"_Serena_" Nate admonished. Serena turned to him, shocked. "Be nice"

"I'm not a _child_ Nate, don't tell me what to do"

Nate ran his hands through his already messy hair. He didn't want to fight with Serena, "Sorry S," he said apologetically, giving her the smallest of smiles. Serena grinned,

"You know I can't resist your puppy dog smile," she whispered, before capturing his lips in hers, forgetting about the other girl entirely.

Jenny frowned at the display in front of her, concentrating on the steam from her coffee instead of Serena wrapped up in Nate's arms. Why was he always so quick to forgive Serena? That girl could break his heart a dozen times and he would still welcome her with open arms. Jenny sniffed haughtily, Nate deserved more than that. Nate deserved _her_.

"So what were you doing with Chuck?" Nate asked playfully, as Serena settled in beside him, keeping a wary eye on Jenny. Jenny rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you cheated on me with my best friend too," he teased.

"Nate!" Serena laughed, "Ew, I can't even begin to tell you how wrong that is" Serena shuddered delicately, wrinkling her nose. "We were plotting" she said with a proud grin.

"Plotting?" Nate asked skeptically, "isn't that like, Blair and Chuck's thing?"

"Precisely," Serena said, taking a sip of Nate's americano. She wrinkled her nose at the bitter taste. "That's why we're going to help them get back together"

"Thank God" Nate muttered. "I was getting sick of moping Chuck" he said in explanation to Jenny's raised eyebrow.

Jenny nodded eagerly, Serena frowned, and Nate was oblivious as per usual.

Such was the way of three blondes so early in the morning.

…

"Blair!" Serena exclaimed in surprise as the girl burst into her room. "What are you doing over here so early? I thought we were meeting at three?"

Serena had seen the Gossip Girl blast recently, a very dishevelled Blair exiting Carter's building. But in a different outfit, of course.

"S," she sobbed, running into her best friend's open arms "Oh, S, everything's falling apart."

"Blair, what's wrong?" Serena asks carefully. If their plan is going to work, she's going to need to play her cards right.

"I slept with Carter," Blair says between sobs, and Serena sucks in a breath sharply. Not only does Blair's admission hurt her, but this pretty much felled all of their schemes.

Serena's blue eyes widened with shock, "Why?"

"I don't know S," Blair admitted "He was just _there_, and I didn't want to be alone anymore. I don't know what this is anymore, and I don't even know if I can just _pretend_ with him anymore. I ran out of there this morning before he woke up. I don't know what to do S."

"Well," Serena measured her next words cautiously "Do you feel anything for Carter?"

"I think so," Blair said quietly. "But it was never supposed to be like this! We weren't supposed to be anything more than a business deal. And now I've gone and slept with him. Ugh, I feel like a whore."

"You'll never be a whore B," Serena said with a nervous laugh. "Maybe it's not love, or even _like_, with Carter. Maybe it's just you trying to get over Chuck and finding a replacement in Carter"

Blair bristled, and Serena tensed, feeling a sudden outburst coming on.

"I've told you Serena, Chuck and I are over" Blair snapped

"But are you over him?" Serena challenged, though there was a slight hint of fear in her voice.

"No," Blair admitted "But I will be," she said, defiantly challenging Serena to deny this.

"Alright, B" Serena said, attempting to hide her triumphant smile.

There was hope for them yet.

* * *

tbc


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: Thank you again for your reviews. They continually inspire me, and I love reading people's opinions on C/B or Ca/B. And I apologize for the briefness of the chapter, but I think everything that needed to be said was said and it ended in the right place.  


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**

He supposed that he shouldn't have been surprised when he woke up and found the other side of the bed completely devoid of a petite brunette with silky skin and pouting red lips. Carter's been left alone one too many times, but he chastises himself for letting Blair Waldorf slip out of his grasp anyways.

Carter is in the midst of throwing on a pair of pants when loud knock on his door draws him from his wallowing. He should know better, but Carter half-hopes it is Blair as he trudges to the door.

But the glowering male figure in front of him is most definitely _not_ Blair, and this element of surprise is the only reason why Carter was immediately shoved against the nearest wall. Had this element of surprise been absent, Carter could've easily dodged Chuck's menacing sneer.

"Stop fucking with her Carter" Chuck growled venemously, driving Carter farther up the wall. "I know all about your little plan of using Blair to get to your dad-"

"Oh yeah?" Carter shot back "Then did you know that Blair's just using me to get to _you_? Not to mention I'm helping her get into Yale"

Chuck recoiled visibly at Carter's last words. He had known, of course, that Blair was using Carter as well, but he hadn't known that Carter could get Blair into Yale. His hand slackened its grip against Carter, and Carter seized the opportunity to push the startled boy off.

Chuck grimaced slightly as he thought over his options. Blair wanted nothing more than to get into Yale, and even with his expendable amount of money, he hadn't been able to secure her a place. Carter's _connections_, however, could get Blair into her dream school. He was torn in the worst way possible, between Blair's happiness and his own. But Chuck has always been, and will always be, a selfish creature by nature.

"Thought I was just using her, didn't you?" Carter mocked, taking Chuck's silence for surprise rather than indecision "Guess you don't know her as well as I do. In fact, I'm pretty sure we got to know each other _better_ last night. Tell me, do you know what sound she makes when you-"

At this, Chuck snapped. The son of a bitch couldn't have slept with her. Serena had all but assured him that Carter and Blair's relationship never continued behind closed doors. Carter had to be lying, and a bloom of rage flew up in Chuck once again. Grabbing Carter by the collar, he shoved him into the nearest doorway, relishing the crack of the wood.

"You don't know her!" Chuck yelled "You'll never know her as well as I do"

"But I _want_ to," Carter replied, his voice uncharacteristically genuine beneath Chuck's glower. "And I know her well enough to know that Blair doesn't love you anymore"

"And she loves you?" Chuck threw back. The blood was pounding in his ears, the butterflies flapping their wings furiously in his stomach. It was all he could do to not wipe off the puppy-dog love on Carter's face by throwing another punch.

"Not yet," Carter confessed "But I love her"

The words were like a blow to his gut, robbing him of his breath (and sensibility). Before Carter can even begin to comprehend what he just said, he is cringing against the doorframe, clutching his jaw.

"You don't love her" Chuck said darkly, massaging his right hand. "You'll never love her like I do"

And with that, Chuck spun on his heel, slamming the door on his way out.

…

_Fuck_, Carter thought, massaging his jaw as he sat dejectedly with a scotch in one hand and a pack of ice in the other. He knew Blair would be pissed about him fighting with Chuck, and she would be even more pissed at the blossoming purple bruise on his jaw.

In the moment, it had seemed like telling him Blair was over him was a good idea. Looking back, Carter grimaced as he recalled his next words. Had he really just told Chuck Bass he _loved_ Blair Waldorf? It was all part of the charade, of course. If Blair's goal was to truly get over Chuck then his words would have the right effect.

"_Fuck" _he growled as the fluttering in his stomach increased. He couldn't help but think that those words were probably the most truth he had spoken in months.

"Dammit, Blair" he muttered as he slammed his glass down on the table and made his way over to the door.

…

"Serena," Chuck snarled into the phone, "you were wrong"

"What about?" The blonde replied cheerfully, disregarding the anger in Chuck's voice.

"Blair's not using him just to get to _me_, but she's using Baizen's," Chuck said the other boy's name in distaste as he threw down another tumbler of scotch "connections to get into Yale. Even I couldn't help her get into Yale, and now Carter gets to play hero. Fuck!"

"Calm down, dear brother of mine" Serena said with a roll of her eyes. Males and their egos. "She never told me about Yale."

"It doesn't matter anymore, _sis_. Even if I can convince her to forgive me, she'll never give up Yale for me"

"Are you whining, Bass?" Serena asked, a hint of a laugh in her voice "If so, I don't want to hear it. What have you done, besides punching Carter, to prove to Blair you're sorry?"

"I told you S, I could buy out Tiffany's and she wouldn't care."

"Well, I don't think we need to take such drastic measures, but have you told her you're sorry?"

"Yes-"

"Telling her I'm sorry doesn't count unless you mean it" Serena singsonged "And it also doesn't count if you say it as if she'll come running back at any moment anyways"

Chuck sighed, deflated. Serena was right. All the times he had told Blair he was sorry he had either said it in frustration or anger. He had meant it, but his tone would've told Blair otherwise.

"S, I've got to go."

"Where to?"

"Tiffany's first and then maybe to Payard's after"

"For Blair's favourite truffles? Good call"

"Thanks sis, now if you don't mind, I have-"

"To go win back your woman. I know, I know"

Serena was still laughing when Chuck hung up the phone.

…

She was feeding the ducks, exactly like Dorota had said. Why Blair had such a love for them he would never understand.

"Blair" he called out cautiously. Carter watched as she rigidly turned to face him, an artificial smile on her scarlet lips.

"Carter!" the surprise and adoration in her voice was carefully measured as she threw herself into his arms. "How did you know where I was?"

"Dorota told me. I went by your place but you weren't there-"

"Oh how sweet!" she called out, loud enough for the two younger girls giggling off to the side to hear. She burrowed herself further into his arms, "I have to meet Serena later, but I'd love to go for lunch with you"

"Look Blair," Carter tried desperately "We have to talk"

Her smile cracked at the edges, but remained in place as the girls tittered in the background, not even bothering to hide their phones.

"Is this about this morning?" Blair hissed. "Last night didn't mean anything Carter, don't worry"

The hurt in his eyes matched the underlying pain in her voice.

"Blair, you and I both know last night meant more than that. At least Chuck seems to think so," he whispered triumphantly.

Blair breathed in sharply, "What about Chuck?"

"Bass knows that our relationship is a fake, and I wonder who told him. He seems to think I'm using _you_, and I had to be the one to inform him that our arrangement works both ways"

"Serena," Blair muttered darkly. Noting the surprise on Carter's face, she laughed icily, "What, did you think _I_ told him?"

"Well you running off this morning and Bass pounding down my door a mere hour later didn't give me much to go off on" Carter retorted angrily.

"I didn't tell him anything. That would completely foil my plan of getting _over_ him Carter"

"You do always go running back to him" Carter sneered, "And look where that got you. Traded for a _hotel_"

He regrets his words almost immediately when Blair's face crumples, and he swiftly pulls her into the cover of the trees, eager to be away from prying eyes.

"Just stay away from me," Blair spat out angrily "This business deal is over"

But Carter had had enough of people walking away from him. "Blair," he murmured his lips tantalizingly close to her ear. She shuddered, a fresh wave of tears coursing down her cheeks "I'm sorry"

She laughed ruefully, "Where have I heard that one before?"

Carter laughed, but it was too loud, too forced, and Blair only shot him a strange look. "Do you know what I said to Chuck that caused him to punch my face in?"

Blair shook her head mutely, finally noticing the ugly purple bruising on his jaw.

"I told him I _loved_ you. Any other fake boyfriend would've scampered out of there when Bass started throwing punches, but no, Blair, I told him I _loved_ you."

"So what? You want a medal for being best fake boyfriend of the year?"

"No, I don't" he said simply "And you know what the worst part was?" he raised his eyes to meet Blair's tear filled ones, "I wasn't pretending. I meant it Blair, all of it. Every kiss, every sentiment, and last night…" his voice trailed off suggestively, eliciting a small laugh from Blair.

"I know we haven't exactly done this right. But I _want_ to" he said earnestly. "I want you to be my girlfriend Blair. Behind closed doors as well as in public" he said with a wink.

He kissed her then, without warning. Blair's lips yielded to his, and he kissed her furiously, until she was panting and out of breath, her eyes unfocused and hazy.

"What do you say?" he whispered against her lips.

Blair's answer was another kiss, and when she pulled back for the second time her lipstick was smudged and her curls were falling out of their bun.

"I say we continue where we left off last night" she said with a wicked grin, pulling them out of the shadows.

…

"Why did you run away this morning?" he asked quietly, drawing circles on her naked hipbone as they lay entwined on the bed.

Blair turned her head to face him, her eyes roving over his naked vulnerability as she contemplated. "I was scared," she decided, her tone brooking no argument.

"Of what?" he asked, relishing in the calm that had settled between them.

"I was scared," she frowned slightly, "of falling for you"

"Oh."

"Yeah"

"I was scared too," he offered into the silence

"Of what?" she mimicked his tone

"Loving you" he whispered, looking for a sign, something, _anything,_ on her face. He was too far invested into this relationship for it to go south now.

Blair finally understood why it had been so hard for Chuck to say those words. She had thrown them out too easily, given her heart up too freely before, but now that her heart had been shattered mercilessly, Blair found it harder to say those three words, eight letters, and so she only smiled at him wickedly, reaching up to kiss him again to avoid the current subject.

And when his body was flush against hers, her moaning into his hair as he peppered kisses down her neck, she forgot about her broken heart, focussing on the rhythm of their heartbeats and the sigh that escaped his lips.

…

For the second time that day, Chuck Bass vowed to kill Serena van der Woodsen. What had possessed him to trust _her_, of all people? Jack-he winced at the thought-was right. Chuck Bass was getting soft.

There was no other way to explain Blair's bruised lips, her adorably flushed cheeks, and tousled hair. No other way to explain why Carter Baizen had just wrapped his arms around Blair, who was clothed in a silk robe that hung half open, resting his chin on her shoulder and glaring at Chuck.

Carter smirked at the shock playing openly on Chuck's face. His hand hung limply at his side, the peonies and truffles forgotten on the floor. Blair followed their tumble onto the marble with intensity, knowing that the only reason Chuck Bass ever bought flowers or chocolate was to apologize.

Blair found her voice first, tying her robe tighter as she shrugged off Carter's embrace.

"What are you doing here Chuck?"

"I came here to _talk_ to you Blair" he ground out, still unnerved by Carter's presence "to _apologize_. But I see now," he inclined his head towards Carter "that you're otherwise occupied"

He turned on his heel, ignoring the whispered argument behind him as he trained his gaze intently on the approaching elevator.

"Go Carter, I'll be alright." Blair whispered soothingly. Chuck watched out of the corner of his eye as Carter kissed her swiftly, leaving Chuck with a hard glare as he walked away.

"Chuck," Blair said sadly, picking up the peonies and truffles. "They're beautiful"

He refrained from replying _just like you_ (it was bad enough he had showed up with them in the first place when she was clearly over him), keeping his eyes on the elevator instead.

"That's it?" Blair asked in disbelief, "You're not going to talk to me?"

The elevator chose that moment to arrive, and Chuck took one last glance at Blair.

"I get it Blair," he responded stoically "you're over me. But I want you to know, I'll never stop fighting for you. For us," he clarified "I'll never stop fighting for us"

And he stepped into the waiting elevator, the wheels churning in his head.

He was never going to stop fighting. That much he had promised her.

* * *

tbc


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for all the lovely comments! This chapter came out longer than expected, so I hope you'll enjoy.

* * *

**

_Two weeks later_

Perhaps it's because he's broken so many hearts, but Carter Baizen has an uncanny talent of repairing shattered hearts. It's not really in his nature to be so _attentive_, and he never thought himself to be the guy to help put those broken hearts back together. But he did it once with Serena, though her broken heart was barely held together by flimsy promises and meaningless escape.

Blair's broken heart took a little more work. But Carter had painstakingly glued every piece back together and slowly, but surely, she was on her way to giving her newly repaired heart to him. She already had his after all.

…

"You can't avoid me forever B" Serena called out into the Waldorf penthouse, fresh off the phone with an irate Chuck Bass.

"I'm pretty sure I can, _S_" Blair returned, not bothering to descend the last few steps as she glared down at her (former) best friend.

"I guess you found out that I told Chuck?"

"If the forty-seven ignored voicemails didn't mean anything to you, let me tell you this. I trusted you, and you betrayed that trust Serena"

"I thought I was helping" Serena said helplessly, toying with her clutch "Blair, you haven't seen Chuck lately-"

"Oh, I've seen _a lot_ of Chuck lately, thanks to you Serena, he's been showing up where ever I go!"

"I don't get it B," Serena said timidly, "If this is all just to make Chuck jealous, then isn't this having the desired effect? He's practically bought out Tiffany's already."

"You don't get it Serena! Not only do I want nothing to do with Chuck Bass, but _you're_ helping him under the misguided thought that I'm doing this to make him jealous! We've been over this-"

"You slept with Carter" Serena shot back accusingly, her emotions wild as she took in Blair's fury

"Because he asked me to be his girlfriend! We were going to be a real couple S, one without games and hurt. We were going to be _happy_"

"I'm sorry B, but when are you going to see that you and Chuck are meant for each other?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. Too much has happened, and we'll never get back to where we were. We're different people now Serena, and I'm finally moving on with my life. And I suggest you stay out of it"

"B!" Serena called desperately as she watched Blair walk away, "B, don't do this-"Her plea was cut off by the slam of a bedroom door.

…

Leaning against her door, Blair shut her eyes tightly and willed her heart to return back to a normal pace. Even _Serena_ believed that they were inevitable now. When was everyone going to get it? There was no Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. She needed to become Blair. Blair Waldorf and not Chuck's Blair, or Chuck's doting girlfriend, or the girl who got stood up on a lunch date.

And to add insult to injury, there was a rather large bouquet of peonies sitting on her vanity. Dorota, ever the captain of the Chuck and Blair fan club, had taken to putting Chuck's daily flowers into vases around the penthouse. Everywhere she turned, she would be greeted by a spray of roses that were as red as blood, or springy violet tulips and white stargazer lilies. Blair had thrown a fit, tossing the flowers into the trash the first morning.

Every morning after that, it had been a new floral arrangement, a new gift, a new apology. It was all so very tiring, along with studying for finals and keeping up with Carter's schedule. The scarce time they had spent together had either culminated with her in his bed, or against the wall, or in the shower. The problem with it was that they hardly ever _talked_.

Not that Blair minded. Talking equalled discussing Chuck Bass, and that was _not_ something she was ready for. Carter, on the other hand, was always quick to envelop her in his embrace, hugging her tightly against his chest, whispering endearments in her ear.

It seemed that their roles had been reversed, with Blair wanting to bolt, and Carter wanting more out of this relationship.

…

"I think we should go to Nobu tonight."

"Mmhmm" Blair shrugged noncommittally, twitching her fingers as his hand clung to hers. They were walking through Central Park, the first signs of summer showing through the effervescent blooms and manicured greens. Blair's mind was elsewhere, more specifically; it was on the gorgeous sapphire and diamond earrings she had received this morning. Almost all his other gifts had been sent back without a second glance, but these ones would hurt to give up.

Blair sighed as she wondered whether Harry Winston had a similar pair. From her frequenting of Tiffany's, she knew that they couldn't have been from there. Feeling Carter's questioning eyes on her, Blair turned to smile brightly up at his troubled features.

"You're thinking about those gifts, aren't you?"

"No, I'm-" Blair stopped herself, "Wait, how do you know?"

"Only one person in Manhattan would fill an elevator with rose petals"

"Oh"

"Look Blair, I know I haven't really gotten you anything, but maybe after dinner we could stop by Tiffany's and-"

"Oh!" Blair exclaimed in surprise, "No, Carter, it's fine. It's not that. I don't need gifts"

Carter smirked down at her, "You're Blair Waldorf. You need gifts like you need overpriced lattes in the morning"

Blair wrinkled her nose, but stood on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly. Before she could pull away, his arm wound around her waist, pulling her closer as he attacked her lips with his.

Blair sighed, leaning her forehead against his chest as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.

"It's not the gifts, Carter. I'm trying to figure out what to do about Chuck"

She could feel the way his muscles tensed under her fingertips, the sharp intake of breath at Chuck's mere name. Blair would be lying if she said she didn't feel the same way.

"I'll pay Bass a visit," Carter threatened darkly, "He should know better than to send _my_ girl gifts"

Blair only laughed ruefully. "This is Chuck we're talking about," she reminded him gently. "He crosses all lines without any regard. Best just to leave this alone"

"I don't know Blair," Carter said as they started through Central Park again. "Chuck's not the type to go away willingly"

"Well then," Blair said with a wicked grin, "we'll just have to show him that you and I aren't exactly breaking up anytime soon"

…

There was nothing to do.

Her minions were off studying whatever mundane subjects they were taking, Serena was still calling (but her calls were now automatically ignored by the handy little feature on her phone), Chuck was still sending daily gifts that only got more and more extravagant, and Carter was in _another_ round of meetings.

Blair's fingers scrolled over her contact list, pausing slightly at one name. It couldn't hurt, right?

"Blair?" the tone of surprise in Nate's voice was evident. "If you're looking for Serena she's not with me right now, but-"

"Serena and I aren't speaking," Blair informed Nate "Really, Nate, are you as inattentive with Serena as you were with me?"

"Wait, you guys aren't speaking?" Nate asked incredulously, ignoring the jab.

"Yes, Nathaniel" Blair replied disdainfully. What had ever possessed her to call Nate, of all people?

"Why?"

"Well," Blair seethed "maybe you should ask your _girlfriend_ why she thinks her step-brother is more important than her best friend"

"Wait, are you guys fighting about Chuck?"

Blair huffed, "Serena told something to Chuck about Carter and I that I trusted her with. Some best friend," she said haughtily.

Nate frowned at his phone. Serena had been distant the past few days, always with her mom, or busy plotting with Chuck. He hadn't even known that she and Blair weren't speaking again.

"Was there a point to your call Blair?" Nate asked, suddenly exasperated. He did not need to be having this conversation with his ex-girlfriend.

"Er-" Blair hesitated, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. "I was wondering if you're busy at the moment."

"Why?"

"Because my best friend betrayed me to my ex-love-of-my-life, and my boyfriend's in _another_ meeting, and I want a coffee dammit!"

"Alright," Nate said meekly, "There's a café right around the corner of my dorm. I'll text you the address"

"Thanks Nate!" Blair cooed, before snapping her phone shut and rolling her eyes.

…

Stepping inside the quaint, posh café that was unlike those that surrounded NYU, Blair breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Columbia was definitely a step up from NYU.

She spotted Nate looking down at his laptop and made her way over to him, her heels clicking along the floor.

"Archibald" she greeted

"Blair" Nate returned with an easy smile. Despite all the animosity they shared, they had a past that was undeniable.

"So," Blair started uncomfortably, sitting down on the chair opposite Nate "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Nate replied, amused at her suddenly cordial expression "Just studying for finals" He gestured to the pile of papers in front of him.

"So," Blair stated again, and Nate laughed.

"What?" Blair asked in annoyance. Now she remembered why she and Nate had not hung out in a while. At least, without the company of either Chuck or Serena.

"I'm usually the one speaking in one-word sentences" He pointed out with a laugh

"What do you think of," Blair paused "the weather?" And she railed at herself in her head. The weather?

"You didn't really come all the way here to talk about the weather Blair" Nate said with another laugh. His laughing was really beginning to grate on her nerves.

"Well no one else was available" Blair replied with a pout

"Nice to know I'm still last on your list"

"Oh come off it Archibald," A sudden thought popped into Blair's head and she grinned devilishly "So what is going on with you and a certain ex-best-friend of mine?"

Nate shifted uncomfortably under her searching gaze "I'm not really sure," he admitted "I mean, everything was fine for a while and then she started hanging out with Chuck-"

"Why is Serena hanging out with Chuck?"

"I would've thought you'd figure that out by now," Nate said with a wry smile

"Oh," Blair said, remembering Serena's betrayal

"And I'm seeing more of Jenny than I am of Serena. It's not like I'm avoiding her or anything, but whenever we're together it's awkward, or she's distant"

"Wait," Blair shot him a glare "What are you doing with _Jenny Humphrey?_"

"She's just a friend Blair"

"Right, just a friend who still has a crush on you"

"Come on Blair that was a long time ago. She's grown up" At this Blair huffed.

"If you define growing up by becoming a raccoon in desperate need of a haircut, then yes, I suppose she has"

Nate squirmed under her microscopic gaze, "So how are you and Carter?" It came out more bitterly than he expected.

"Fine," Blair said shortly "And we'll be great if you could get your best friend to stop filling my elevator with flowers"

"So Chuck's been sending you flowers?" He asked with a leading grin.

"Among other things," Blair muttered. "But I'm with Carter now, so it doesn't matter. It _shouldn't_ matter"

A sombre expression came over Nate's features, "Are you really willing to throw what you had with Chuck out for _Carter_?" He asked in disbelief.

"And what did Chuck and I have?" Blair shot back, "He sold me out for a fucking hotel"

"Right," Nate murmured, remembering his and Serena's conversation about that very topic

"He told you?" Blair asked in incredulity

"No," Nate shrugged "Serena"

Blair scowled, "What else did dear old Serena tell you? That Carter and I weren't actually dating?"

"What?" Nate's eyes grew wide "Are you using him to make Chuck jealous?"

"I _was_ using him to get over Chuck, but then something happened" Blair said with a tiny smile

"What happened?"

"He said he loved me"

Nate breathed in sharply. The dreamy expression in Blair's eyes hurt slightly, but it wasn't that. Who would ever believe that someone like _Carter Baizen _could love another person?

"And do you love him?"

"Not yet," Blair said, eyes downcast as she trailed the patterns across the floor "But it'll come with time," she said confidently.

"Then you should probably know," Nate trailed off, eyes searching her face.

"What, Archibald?" Blair asked, irritated.

"Well, you know about Lost Weekend?" Nate begins, and Blair nods.

He finishes the story quickly, about how Carter had set him up at a poker game, stole Chuck's Piaget, and how Chuck had saved him. He watches carefully for any sign of her heart breaking, but he's broken her heart many a time before and he thinks she deserves to know this.

"When?" she breathes

"Two years ago,"

"Well then he's changed," Blair said defiantly, lifting her nose into the air. "He's changed. Carter wouldn't do that now. Not to _me_"

"Okay Blair," Nate said quietly, not wanting to upset her further.

"Thanks for telling me Natie" she said quietly, and Nate smiled at the use of his old nickname.

"No problem, Blair Bear" he teased, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips

…

Yale. It had to be it. As Blair spotted the thick white envelope, she willed it to be from Yale.

Yale. If she got in, everything would be perfect. Perfect. She could taste it on the tip of her tongue, the sweetness of victory and the vindication over those who had stood in her way.

A squeal escaped her lips as her fingers clutched the envelope, tracing the emblem with reverence. Yale.

She closed her eyes and slid the letter opener under the flap. Another squeal of anticipation escaped her lips as she recalled the meeting that had gone wonderfully last week. As expected, Arthur had connected her with the most esteemed alumni and the new Dean. They had been charmed by her smile, and the whole time, there was one word in her mind. Yale. Yale, Yale, Yale.

It was an admission letter and course booklet. She knew it. The envelope was too thick to contain anything else. It had to be.

…

"It's not working Serena"

"You're wearing her down, aren't you?"

"Nate just called me. He was talking to Blair" Chuck heard the sharp intake of breath on Serena's end, and his suspicions were proved correct.

"Why were they talking?" Serena asked, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Apparently now that you and Blair are on the outs, her options are pretty limited"

"Carter?"

"Apparently he was in another meeting," Chuck grinned. It was part of the plan. If Carter was continuously in meetings that Chuck had scheduled during the most inopportune times, he would have less time with Blair.

"Why Nate?" Serena asked, still lost.

"It doesn't matter" Chuck pointed out, "Nate told Blair about Carter's poker scheme a few years back."

"And?"

"Blair said Carter's _changed_" Chuck spat out. "And all those peonies, roses, earrings, diamonds. They don't mean anything to her Serena. It's not working"

"If I know Carter, it's that he doesn't change" Serena said confidently "But it still bothers me that Blair went to Nate. I mean, I know she's angry at me but-"

"I don't want to hear about your relationship troubles, Sis" Chuck drawled. "Can we please get back on topic about how to break Carter and Blair up?"

"Well, if Blair truly believes he's changed.."

"Then we can do nothing?"

Serena blew out a puff of air. This was harder than she expected. Nate was acting distant, and all this time she spent plotting with Chuck was only making things worse. "Maybe it's for the best Chuck. If you guys were meant to be, you'll find your way to each other eventually"

"Cut the crap Serena, we both know that Blair and I are inevitable, so why put this off for longer than need be?"

"Because, Chuck, she's _happy_." Serena bit her lip "Maybe this was all a mistake. Blair can take care of herself, and we shouldn't be playing games with her."

"Don't you know, Serena? Everything is a game with Blair"

And the line went dead.

…

"I got into Yale!" Blair squealed into her phone. He was second after Daddy, who had demanded an explanation of her love life as soon as she had finished telling him about Yale.

"Congrats, baby" Carter said, "I knew you'd get in eventually"

"I mean, that last alumni, he didn't seem to like me much, but I knew-"

"Look at yourself, Blair. Who wouldn't like you?"

Blair giggled into her phone, giddy and excited. Nothing could spoil this.

"I've got a four o'clock meeting, but what do you say to dinner tonight? We'll go to Daniel to celebrate"

"Sounds perfect" Blair purred

"I love you" Carter said, and the hope was unmistakable in his voice.

"I'll see you tonight" Blair said softly.

Carter sighed as the line went dead. It was bad enough that _Carter Baizen_ was saying I love you, but what did it say when Blair Waldorf couldn't even say the words back to him?

…

Blair frowned at her phone. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She had sent Gossip Girl an anonymous tip, and the entire Upper East Side knew that Blair Waldorf was finally in her rightful place. Blair Waldorf was going to Yale.

_Heard you got into Yale. Congratulations. Drinks at the palace at 10?_

_-C_

The nerve! Chuck had no right to be asking her out for drinks.

_Isn't there some blonde bimbo begging to be fucked?_

_-B_

The reply was instant.

_I'd rather ravish you_

_-C_

Blair pressed the buttons angrily, seething at the thought of meeting Chuck.

_Too bad Carter's going to be ravishing me tonight instead_

_-B_

…

"So," Carter started, and Blair looked at him questioningly, licking the cheesecake off her spoon. "You're going to New Haven in the fall"

Blair nodded, knowing where this was going. Before, it would have been the perfect exit strategy, but now she wasn't so sure.

"You'll be in Europe"

It was Carter's turn to nod, "What are we going to do?" he asked, and Blair's heart broke at the subtle fear in his eyes.

"I don't know," she admitted, looking down at her phone.

_9:30_, the numbers taunted her.

"Will we be okay?" Carter tried again

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'll be on a different continent half the time, and Chuck will only be a train ride away-"

"You're worried about _Chuck_?_"_ Blair asked incredulously, "Carter, have I ever given you reason not to trust me?"

"You did sleep with your boyfriend's best friend" He pointed out.

Blair reeled in shock, "That was two years ago! And need I point out; two years ago _you_ were stealing from Chuck and attempting to cheat Nate. You of all people should know that people _change_"

"How do you know about that?" Carter asked breathlessly

"Nate," Blair said with a smirk, "But it doesn't matter. I have to go meet Serena, I want to apologize to her."

"Blair, wait. I didn't mean it that way"

"Yes, you did Carter"

And she turned her back on him, reaching for her phone.

_I'll see you in 10_

_-B_

…

Nothing could ruin her night. Blair repeated the mantra in her head as she glared Chuck down. She got into Yale, nothing could ruin her night- How dare he dress in her favourite dark grey pinstriped Armani suit, and the baby blue bowtie she had bought him?-nothing could ruin her night. She got into Yale, she chanted silently as her eyes noticed the flat case in his hands.

"I noticed you sent back the earrings, so I thought maybe you needed something to match them to first"

With a flourish, he opened the case, revealing a stunning sapphire necklace on the finest white gold chain, interspersed with tiny diamonds throughout. She was here to tell him to stop, Blair thought desperately, but Blair Waldorf was a girl after all. So it was only natural that she reached out and stroked a glimmering sapphire.

Chuck was quick to grab her hand, laying a kiss on her palm.

"You like it" he stated smugly, "I bet Baizen never gives you jewellery like this. The insect can't even survive without his father's help"

Blair snatched her hand away quickly, wrenching her gaze from the beautiful necklace.

"Take it," Chuck offered "something this beautiful deserves to be on someone-"

"Worthy of its beauty, I know" Blair responded icily, "And was I also so beautiful that I deserved to be traded for a _hotel_?"

"I told you Blair," Chuck said quietly, patiently. He had said these words a thousand times to her, more than he's ever said them to anyone else "I'm sorry"

"Sorry, doesn't cut it Chuck! When are you going to get it? You can say sorry a thousand times, and nothing will ever make me forgive you."

"I'm trying Blair, can't you see that?"

"All I can see is a little boy so desperate for his dead father's approval that he sold out his _girlfriend_ for his fucking hotel"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Blair regretted it instantly. Her hand reached for his, but he snatched his arm out of her grasp as he stared her down.

Blair's words hit harder than he expected (she's always known how to hurt him the most), and his anger intensified.

"Please, we all know you're so desperate for your Mother_'s_ approval that you stick your finger down your throat just to be skinny enough"

Both Chuck and Blair recoil at his words, Chuck in disbelief and Blair in horror. If there was an unspoken promise between them, it was that she never mentioned his need for his father's approval, and he never brought up her bulimia in a fight.

"At least Carter's _got_ his father's approval" Blair retorted, blinking back tears.

You see, when you let someone in, when you allow yourself to fall head over heels in love with someone, you also show them your blind spots, your weaknesses, your hopes and dreams. Blair knew that Chuck's ambition to succeed stemmed from the need of his father's approval. Even when his father was gone, Chuck longed to succeed. What had he said to Serena once? That his father turned his first profit by the time he was twenty-six. He hoped to do it by the time he was twenty-five. And Chuck had started out with a lot more than the two thousand Bart had began the Bass legacy with.

And Chuck knew that Blair knew that he still thought his father was looking down on him, judging him for being so weak, so _in love_. With sudden clarity, Chuck realized exactly why he had traded Blair for his hotel. His father would have done the same. Despite Chuck's rebellions against his father's legacy, despite Blair's reassurances that he was not his father, Chuck was his father's son. You couldn't deny that. Chuck had tried to defy his father's mocking voice, the one that told him that he was too _weak_, too desperately in love with Blair Waldorf, to ever survive in the business world.

So Chuck defied his father's expectations, hardening his heart and giving up the woman he loved for the hotel he desired. He had regretted it almost immediately after, repeating 'What have I done?' over in his head until the image of Jack's hands on her, Jack's lips kissing a trail down her stomach, Jack crawling over her on Chuck's bed, and Blair screaming out Jack's name as he thrust into her was ingrained in his mind.

Blair's heart broke for him as she watched the cacophony of emotions play across his face, the hurt blazing in his eyes. Her fingertips longed to reach for him, to comfort him as he had her, but before she could touch him, a strong arm encircled her elbow.

"What the fuck is going on?" Carter's voice broke in as he yanked Blair away from Chuck. Blair let out a tiny scream of surprise as she lost her balance, tumbling backwards as Carter caught her. "What the hell Blair?"

Chuck's shoulders tensed when he noticed the fear in her eyes.

"How did you know where I was?" she quavered

"Gossip Girl" Carter said ruefully. "I should have known you weren't going to Serena's to apologize."

"Blair Waldorf doesn't apologize," Chuck said with a sneer, glaring at the taller boy. "Even you should know that. Then again, maybe you don't know her as well as you like to claim"

"She's mine." Carter ground out.

"No," Chuck said harshly. "Even when she's with someone else, she'll always be mine"

They were talking like she wasn't even there, Blair mused as she squirmed out of Carter's grip.

"Come on Carter," she whispered, laying a comforting hand on his chest. "Let's get out of here"

And Carter could never say no to her, but he turned and punched Chuck in the jaw before letting Blair tug him away.

…

Blair didn't owe him an explanation. Carter thought she did, but apparently Blair Waldorf never needed to qualify her actions. As Carter glared outside the window angrily, the same two words rang in Blair's clouded mind.

"_You're mine"_

Blair used to take pleasure in hearing those words, though she would often look affronted and tell Chuck that she belonged to no one. But in her heart of hearts, she knew that she belonged to him and he belonged to her.

How very wrong she was.

"_You don't own me Chuck" she giggled playfully as his hand slipped under her skirt_

"_Oh?" his eyebrow arched at her, and he smirked "I'm pretty sure I own this" And with that he plunged two fingers inside her throbbing center, leaving Blair breathless and unable to form a single coherent thought._

"_I hate you" she hissed as his fingers circled her engorged nub._

_He only smirked, "No, I'm pretty sure you love me" he whispered, leaning down to capture her lips in his._

In all honesty, she _had_ enjoyed his inane possessiveness and absurd jealousy. It had made her feel wanted, _loved_. But now she knew that Chuck truly did think of her as a possession, an object.

Otherwise, he wouldn't have traded her for a _hotel_.

She had become his possession in the truest sense, had allowed him to own enough of her in order to sell her out.

There were no words to describe his crushing betrayal, no analogies, no justifications, and no qualifications.

He had accused her of not believing him her equal when she allowed him to kiss the dean, and although she had manipulated him, Blair had never meant it to go farther than a _kiss_.

Then again, her prize was a speech. His was a hotel that stood for everything he had built.

It was a cold slap to the face, the realization that she had done the same thing to him, although it was on a smaller scale.

Tears stung at her eyes when she realized that they were _both_ at fault. What she had said was true. She didn't like who she was _becoming_ with him. She loved him so terribly much that she was willing to sleep with another man (his uncle, no less) in order to save his hotel, to save _him_.

And Chuck's deliberate betrayal could be justified after all.

Because she had done the same thing to _him_.

And this was why they would never have what she so desperately craved; happy, pure, simple, true love. The kind her and Carter had.

Now if only she could bring herself to say those three words, eight letters.

* * *

tbc


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you ever so much for reading and reviewing. I'm loving writing about Ca/B/C, and it means so much to me that you are too. I haven't really been writing Dan or Vanessa into this story…so I figured I'd give Dan a little piece in here. But keep in mind, this is a Ca/B/C story (and I really dislike writing Vanessa so don't expect to see too much of her).

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Truth be told, Blair Waldorf had never held much allure for Carter Baizen. When Nate was but a young charge, a little boy in need of Carter's wisdom, the girl would follow him around like a sad puppy, feeding on the scraps of affection that Nate would throw her every now and then. Carter's eyes sought out her glowing best friend instead, the effervescent and vivacious blonde that was every adolescent boy's wet dream.

But when Blair was with Chuck, she changed. She became Blair Waldorf, more so than ever before. She was enigmatic, intriguing, and _beautiful_.

Carter knew that it was Chuck that brought out the bitch, the beauty, the _love_, in Blair, and so it was that he was completely and utterly afraid that once she realized he wasn't Chuck, she'd go running back to Bass.

….

Blair frowned at her phone in discourse. _Three missed calls_, the display flashed, and Blair knew exactly who it was. Carter had been calling and texting her incessantly, needing to know _where_ she was, who she was with, and constantly reassuring her of his love.

When she was with Nate, she would long for this sort of thing to happen, long for him to call her and love her every minute of every day. With Chuck, he would call and text when he wanted, and it never bothered her because she knew he loved her in everything that he did.

But in Carter's case, Blair felt smothered, choked by his affection and coddled by his overwhelming love.

"Everything okay?" Nate asked, two coffees in hand as he made his way over to Blair.

"Just fine," Blair said with a smile, throwing her phone back into her bag and smiling beatifically up at Nate

…

"Nate," Serena said into her phone quietly, "could you call me when you get this? I think we need to talk,"

Sighing as she ended yet another voicemail, Serena frowned at her reflection. Helping Chuck was making for more problems in her relationship with Nate, and she wasn't so sure she wanted to help Chuck any more. He was despondent, becoming more and more desperate with every failed attempt.

"Jen?"

Serena turned in surprise at the voice coming from the elevator.

"Dan?"

…

"He won't stop," Blair growled as she silenced her phone yet again.

"Shouldn't you be happy?" Nate teased with a smile "Most girls would love their boyfriends calling them at every waking moment"

"Since when have I been most girls, Archibald?" Blair asked with a raised brow.

"Touche," Nate shot back, "But why are you being so hard on the guy?"

"I thought you hated Carter"

"I do, but there's nothing wrong with calling your girlfriend"

"There must be something wrong with you if you think six calls in the span of two hours is normal"

"Oh," Nate laughed nervously, remembering the calls he himself had ignored in the past two hours.

"Besides, he keeps going on about being Better Than Chuck. We were in _bed_ last night, and he asked me if he was-"

"Whoa" Nate cut in, holding up a hand. He did not need to hear about his ex-girlfriend's sex life, especially with his sworn enemy. "I can do without hearing about you and Carter in bed, thank you very much"

Blair shot him a glare, but acquiesced, "I feel like I'm being suffocated"

"Well, that's never good"

"I mean, when Chuck was being overprotective I found it endearing. And with Carter, it just feels…"

"Pathetic?" Nate supplied.

Blair shot him yet another glare "I was going to say exasperating"

"Pathetic is a better description" Nate said with a grin.

…

"Hey baby"

"Hello," Blair cringed, brushing her lips against his. Since when had this become a chore?

"Where were you today? I tried calling you after lunch," Carter frowned slightly, the anxiety eating away at his heart.

"With Nate," Blair studied his face closely. "S and I aren't really talking and I needed someone to talk to"

"You can talk to me," Carter said with what he hoped was a supporting grin

"You can't replace Serena," Blair said pointedly, "Nate can."

"Because he's such a girl?" Carter asked playfully.

"I suppose so," Blair forced a laugh, but Nate could replace Serena for a different reason. He hated Carter as well.

"Well you're going to be hanging out with your new best friend a lot more next week"

"Why?" Blair asked, brow furrowed, attempting to analyze the jealousy in his voice.

"Chuck decided I needed to go over to Europe for a few days. Normally, I'd argue with him, but I do need to make a trip over there sometime to meet the British investors"

"Oh," Blair couldn't tell if she was depressed at the thought of him leaving, as she was with Chuck when he left on his business trips, or glad that she would have a chance to _breathe_.

"You could come with me," Carter put in hopefully "Your classes are over and you yourself said you had nothing to do. I'm leaving this Tuesday. Maybe a few days in England and then we could go to Paris, Nice, or your father's chateau…"

It scared her. It absolutely terrified her when he said that. The resolve, anger, lust, _love_, in his eyes frightened her beyond belief. And Blair Waldorf never got scared. Fairytales chased away any bad dreams or monsters under her bed when she was a child, and when she reached adolescence her only fears were quickly banished with a few resolves.

But she was absolutely trembling as he stared expectantly at her, his eyes begging her to say something, _anything_.

"I don't know," Blair muttered, looking for an excuse, anything.

"Why not?" Carter challenged, "Chuck won't be there if that's what you mean"

"It's not Chuck," Blair winced inwardly at the sound of his name on Carter's tongue. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to go on a trip with you"

"We've been dating for a while Blair," Carter pointed out with a bitter laugh. "You and Chuck dated for barely a week and you went with him to Tuscany. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, he stood you up then too"

Carter's greatest weapon against Chuck in the war for Blair was his neve-ending arsenal of insults and Chuck's many mistakes. He would point them up with a laugh of derision while Blair giggled falsely, and assure her that he was 'Better Than Chuck'.

"I'm not Chuck, Blair," he told her, leaning closer to her, taking her hands in his. "I won't do that to you, you know that"

And there it was. He was always 'Better Than Chuck', better at Chuck at loving her, taking care of her, dating her, whatever had come up. But this was the problem, Blair considered silently. With Chuck, that edge of uncertainty, the feeling of always being at the edge of a deep void, excited her. She has said before that what she craved was pure, simple love. And Chuck had told her that she would be bored in seconds.

It still amazed her how he was always right.

"I know that. And I think, I think that's the problem"

With Chuck, he would hurt her and destroy her, but what he had said was the honest truth. No one could ever love her as much as he because no one could ever hurt her as much as he. It was a simple, ironic fact. The ones you loved the most could hurt you the worst. Blair would hurt Chuck and he would lash back out at her, but when they loved, their love was indomitable, never ending, frightening, and beautiful in its entirety.

"I'm not Chuck?" Carter drew away in disbelief "And it's a problem that I'm not Chuck"

"No," Blair bit out, frustrated, unsure, confused, and afraid.

"Then what?" Carter roared "The problem is that I won't hurt you like he will? Is that is Blair? You _want_ to be shattered and broken?"

"No," Blair squeezed her eyes tighter, fighting against the conflicting emotions warring within her. Her heart told her to leave him be in his jealousy, to go find what she was sure was her one true love. But her head screamed at her, telling her Carter was _safe_, that she'd never want for love or affection in Carter's embrace.

"I don't know what I want," she admitted.

…

Still mulling over his conversation with Blair, Nate stepped into the van der Woodsen's penthouse, where Serena had been spending her time after her rift with Blair.

What he found, surprised him to say in the least.

Serena had called three times, left one voicemail asking him to 'talk' and Nate had ignored everything, going to the penthouse to finally ask her what was going on.

What Nate didn't realize was that apparently Serena and Dan were reconnecting as he and Blair were.

Only he and Blair were entirely platonic, closer than they had been when they were dating, but still only the best of friends.

Dan and Serena on the other hand, well if that kiss meant anything they couldn't have just been friends.

…

"You want Chuck," Carter yelled, "You say you don't know what you want, but you want him. I can see it in your eyes. You'll always go running back to him, won't you? What happens next time, when he whores you out to someone else? Or when he sleeps with his secretary? You know what he'll do to you Blair and you still love him. You still love him"

The look in Carter's eyes was clear. _Why won't you love me?_ his eyes begged.

"I'm sorry," Blair snapped "I thought you could get over this, over Chuck. You're so eager to dangle his mistakes in front of me, but what about_ your mistakes?_ I know about the poker game Carter"

"That-that's different. I never meant to hurt anyone-"

"Oh, please," Blair scoffed "You meant to hurt Chuck, and you meant to hurt Nate. They were your _friends_ Carter. Nate looked up to you ever since you passed him his first joint."

"That's completely different." Carter replied, his eyes cold "That never directly hurt _you_ did it?"

"Well, no" Blair admitted "But you don't think it hurt to hear from my ex-boyfriend that my boyfriend attempted to cheat him out of his trust fund?"

"It was a mistake Blair, in the past"

"Oh, and I suppose then we can put what Chuck did in the past as well?"

"Can't you see Blair? It's not me that needs to put Chuck in the past. It's you"

"I'm over him!" Blair yelled, all pretense thrown out the window. "It's _you_ that won't believe it! I've assured you so many times that I won't go running back to him and you're still so eager to tell me I will. You don't trust me."

"I do trust you Blair, but with your track record I don't really have a lot to go off on"

"Oh? And pray tell, what is my track record?"'

"Every time someone hurts you in any way, you go running back to Chuck for _comfort"_ He spit out the last word with disgust, his lip curling into a sneer.

"You're impossible! You claim that you've changed and yet you accuse me of past mistakes."

"Well have you changed?"

"I'm here with you aren't I?"

Carter let out a sharp breath, realizing his mistake.

"Look, Blair." He pinched the bridge of his nose and took another deep breath, attempting to calm his frazzled nerves. "I'm sorry-"

"Oh you're sorry?" Blair barked a laugh, and Carter recoiled at the terrifying smile on her pretty pink lips. "You know what Carter? I'm done."

"You're done?" he echoed in disbelief.

Blair nodded, standing up and pacing to the other side of the room.

"I'm done. With you, with Chuck. I'm better than both of you." Blair paused, and for a terrifying second, she wanted to take back her words, but her resolve continued, "I don't _need_ either of you"

"Blair, please" he begged, making his way over to her. But before he could touch her shoulder, she stepped away, eyes guarded.

"I'm done Carter" she said quietly, making her way over to the elevator. She pressed the button and stood back with a tiny smile. "I'm done," she told him motioning him towards the empty elevator and making her way up to her bedroom.

_She didn't need them_.

…

It was all he could do not to break down as the elevator made its way down to the ground floor.

But when the gilded doors opened to reveal a sharply dressed Chuck Bass holding _yet another_ Tiffany's box and peonies, Carter didn't try to hold back his anger.

Stepping out of the elevator and angling his body so Chuck wouldn't be able to pass him, Carter stared the younger boy down.

"Why so upset Carter?" Chuck mocked, taking in the elder boy's red-rimmed eyes, mussed hair, and the angry set of his features. "Did Blair throw you out this early in the evening? If it were me she'd be-"

But Chuck never got to finish his sentence before he was punched (again) by Carter, the peonies knocked out of his hand as he stumbled backwards.

"Stay the fuck away from her," Carter yelled, attracting the attention of the doorman.

But it didn't matter because Chuck had punched Carter within the few seconds it took to get the doorman to reach the pair and soon enough, the lobby was a mess of shouts and screams as the two boys fought incessantly.

Until the police showed up of course.

…

"Blair?" Nate called into the darkened penthouse. She had called him in tears moments earlier, giving him an escape to the awkward situation he had walked into.

"_Nate!" Serena's voice was surprised. "It's not what it looks like I-"_

"_You were kissing him, Serena. Dan. Your ex-boyfriend"_

"_Hey man," Dan cut in, ignoring Nate's warning glare "it didn't mean anything"_

"_It didn't" Serena nodded vigorously, hopeful eyes shining with unshed tears._

_But his phone chose that opportune moment to ring, and one look at the display and he picked up._

"_Blair?"_

"_Nate," she sobbed, and he could tell that she had been crying._

"_What's wrong?" he asked, completely aware of the incredulous looks Serena and Dan were shooting him._

"_I broke up with Carter. I need a friend"_

"_I'll be there," Nate promised._

_He hung up the phone, to an unbelieving Serena. "What did Blair want?"_

"_She needs me," Nate replied simply, turning back towards the elevator._

_Serena could only gape at the closing elevator doors._

He bounded up the stairs, two at a time as the sniffling grew nearer. Pausing at the threshold of her room, he cracked open the door.

"Blair?" he called, quieter now.

She was curled up on her bed, and not on her bathroom rug.

Standing awkwardly at the side of her bed, he tentatively reached out to touch her shoulder.

"I broke up with him," Blair said.

"Oh,"

"Aren't you going to ask why?" she inquired, turning around to face him.

Nate shook his head, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to"

"We argued about Chuck," Blair said anyways

"What about Chuck?"

"He thinks I'll go running back to him,"

"Oh,"

Blair blew out a sigh, "You're terrible at this, Archibald"

"I'm sorry?" Nate asked with a shrug of his shoulders, eliciting a small laugh from Blair.

…

He was supposed to be presenting Blair with what was undoubtedly the most ostentatious of gifts. A ruby ring, much like the one she wore from her father, but with a larger ruby and a rose gold band.

Chuck Bass was _not_ supposed to be spending the night in an eight by ten foot cell, nursing a swollen jaw and eye and glowering at the other boy across the room.

Carter was also not supposed to be spending the night here with his worst enemy, and definitely not supposed to be at a loss as to who to call.

His father and mother would, undoubtedly, be disappointed and he didn't really want to explain this to his father. Chuck had called Nate, who was, as always, willing to help his best friend. Carter supposed that he had underestimated the relationship between Bass and Archibald. He had underestimated it when trying to set up Nate at that poker game, and he had underestimated it when Carter slept with his best friend's girl.

A sudden, fleeting thought passed into Carter's mind, and he accidentally voiced it out loud, "You're lucky to have a friend like Nate"

Chuck looked up in surprise, "Well maybe you'd have a friend like him too if you weren't such an asshole" he spat.

Carter laughed mirthlessly, sitting down opposite Chuck. "I suppose you're right"

A beat of silence passed between the two, and Chuck spoke up again.

"You don't deserve her"

"And I suppose you do?"

"She deserves more than you," Chuck clarified, looking away.

"Well then, I guess the same could be said for you. Whoring her out for a hotel?"

A flash of anger passed through Chuck's eyes, and he tensed, glaring at Carter. "That was a mistake. A fucking mistake. I never would've gone through with it if-"

"You broke her," Carter stated plainly, relishing the pain on Chuck's face.

"I know," Chuck whispered softly, "But it's nothing you wouldn't do to her"

"Well, that's where you're wrong?"

"Oh, am I? How long before the desire to run comes back to you? Before you leave her and she breaks and-"

"You sound like you're speaking from experience" Carter shot back.

"I am," Chuck said, assuming his resigned expression once again.

"And you're still wrong," Carter continued, ignoring Chuck's glower "even Blair doesn't believe I'd hurt her like that" he finished triumphantly.

He didn't mention that that fact alone was pretty much the cause of their break up.

…

"Blair?" Carter said in disbelief at the sight of the petite brunette. "What are you doing here?"

"Nate and I were talking when Chuck called him," Blair said by way of explanation.

"I'm doing this as a favor Carter, nothing else,"

Carter swallowed soundlessly. "Okay"

"Well, well, Waldorf, here to pick up your little boyfriend?"

Both turned sharply at Chuck's voice, and Blair's eyes narrowed. "We broke up"

The jubilation that rang across Chuck's face was palpable. As was the hurt in Carter's eyes.

"Despite popular opinion," Blair said with a pointed glare in Carter's direction "I'm _not _running back to you Chuck"

"Then why break up with him?" Chuck asked triumphantly.

"Because I don't need him. I don't need _you_" Blair said for the second time that day, before stepping into the waiting car.

Leaving two boys behind, one confused, one angry, both heartbroken.

…

Leaning his forehead against the cool glass of the window, Carter had a sudden thought. Blair had almost always run to another for _comfort_. When she lost Nate, she went to Chuck, and when she lost Chuck, she had gone to him.

What Blair needed was something devastating, an event that would completely destroy her wholly, leaving him to pick up the pieces and put them back together. He said he wouldn't hurt her, and Blair had said that was the problem. Well, if she wanted to be hurt, he would follow her wishes.

Picking up the phone, he scrolled through his contacts.

"It's Carter Baizen" he said with an authority that only he commandeered, "I'd like to speak with the Dean of Admissions"

* * *

tbc


	9. Chapter 8

**AN: I'm taking some creative liberties with this piece. University admissions, etc, only confuse me so some of this is purely my own imagination. And I'm still a little unsure if Ellis was actually gay or kissing Chuck for that scavenger hunt. But for all intensive purposes, Mr. Ellis shall be gay in this fic. There's only three chapters left after this one (including the epilogue). Thank you so much for sticking through this journey with me! Each and every one of your reviews makes me smile:)  


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**

"This can't be happening"

"I'm sorry Miss Waldorf, but the conditions of your acceptance were clear. The Dean agreed to overlook your mistakes in the past, but this continued behavior is simply unacceptable."

"Unacceptable? And what exactly have I done?"

"Well, word of your, er, _indescretions_ with Mr. Ellis have reached the Dean's ears."

Blair could only stare at her phone in horror.

…

"You heinous pig!" Blair seethed, stomping into Chuck's suite. "How could you do this to me?"

Chuck looked up at the file in surprise, "What?"

Blair laughed maniacally, wisps of hair falling out of her coif. "Don't act so innocent you Basstard, you know what you did"

"Well," Chuck drawled, leaning back "What, pray tell, did I do exactly to get you over here in-"

"Yale!" Blair exploded, throwing her hands up in frustration "You took Yale!"

"What?" Chuck repeated, furrowing his brow. "Blair, I don't know what's happening, but you know I'd never do that to you. Yale's your dream"

"Then why," Blair faltered for a second, considering his words "does Yale know about what happened with the Mr. Ellis last fall?"

Taken aback, Chuck turned once more to the file in his hands. A tiny spark of recognition lit up in his brain, and he flipped to the right page.

"I can't believe this!" Blair fumed, still glaring at Chuck "You're just going to ignore me!"

"No," Chuck replied, his eyes glinting as he flourished a sheet of paper in Blair's face.

Scowling, Blair ripped the sheet from his hands, scanning over it quickly.

"Why do you have Carter's phone records?"

"I'm Chuck Bass," he replied with a smirk, plucking the sheet from her hands "and this," he said, pointing to a number "is the number of Yale's Office of Admissions if I'm not mistaken"

"No," Blair breathed, "Why would Carter-"

"Seems your perfect ex-boyfriend isn't so perfect after all," Chuck taunted, leaning in closer. "Blair, you know I'd never take Yale"

Blair scoffed, squirming out of his grasp. "Right, but you'd pimp me out to your uncle"

His eyes tightened, "I've said I'm sorry Blair, when are you going to forgive me?"

Taking a deep breath, Blair looked at her shoes.

"I've already forgiven you," she whispered.

…

Carter lunged for his phone as it rang for the third time that day, hoping it was Blair. He had been on edge ever since he had hung up, a quiver of guilt worming its way into his heart. What had he done?

It was nothing Chuck wouldn't do, he rationalized, and it was nothing as bad as what Chuck had done to Blair.

But Carter knew that Blair would be devastated, Yale was her dream after all, the one last piece of her former fairytale that she held. She didn't get Nate, but at the very least she could have Yale. That had been her explanation when Carter had asked her teasingly, why she wanted to get into Yale so badly.

"It's all I have left," she told him, her eyes shining with honesty. And he didn't doubt her for a second.

Carter could only hope that Blair would search him out, and not Chuck, in her devastation. Hadn't he proved to her in the past few weeks, that he would always be there for her?

Carter silenced his phone for the third time that day, returning back to the couch, refilled scotch in hand.

_What if?_ rang through his mind. What if she went to Chuck? It would take a few calls, and Blair would figure out that it was he who had told the Dean. Not only that, but his lie could easily be unraveled if Chuck was helping Blair.

"Fuck," he whispered, burying his head in his hands once again. He should have never tried to be like Chuck. Should never have tried to manipulate Blair, of all people. Carter knew better than anyone how that had backfired with Chuck.

…

The look of utter jubilation rang across Chuck's face, but not before being quickly replaced by confusion.

"Why?" he asked, his eyes searching hers.

"Because I realized I'd done the same thing to you" Blair whispered, eyes shut tightly against the tears that threatened escape.

…

"Carter?" Serena whispered, stepping into the darkened apartment. The door had been left unlocked, which would normally have worried Serena. But in their case, the two had probably just forgotten to lock it on their way in, too preoccupied with each other.

"Serena," Carter returned, still slumped in a chair; he had forgone the tumbler and started drinking straight from the bottle a half hour ago. "What are you doing here?" he rasped.

"I came to see Blair, she wasn't home…" Serena frowned at the obvious state of inebriation Carter was currently situated in "Carter, what's going on?"

"We broke up," Carter slurred.

Serena sucked in a breath, "Was it because of what happened last night?" she asked cautiously.

"Where do I start?" Carter deadpanned

"Well, for one, why you and Chuck ended up in jail might be a good beginning"

Carter looked at her quizzically, "Gossip Girl," Serena admitted sheepishly, by way of explanation.

"She broke up with me before that"

Serena sighed in exasperation, "What happened Carter?"

"I told her I wasn't Chuck, I wouldn't hurt her. And she said that was the _problem_"

And suddenly, Serena realized why she was right in helping Chuck all these weeks. Only Blair and Chuck could hurt each other this much, but only Chuck and Blair could love like that as well. And in the end, it didn't matter that Blair was with Carter. He would never be Chuck, even if he did have that whole I'm-a-bad-boy complex.

"Maybe," Serena said gently, "maybe you two weren't meant to be"

"But I love her," Carter answered petulantly, and Serena grabbed the scotch from his hands, taking a swig of her own.

"It's pretty hard not to fall for Blair Waldorf,"

"Once you start loving her…you can't stop"

"And how do you think Chuck feels?" Serena asked, handing the bottle back.

"He _broke_ her!" Carter yelled, "What makes you think he deserves her more than me?"

And as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Burying his head in his hands once more, he swore under his breath. He didn't deserve Blair any more than Chuck did.

"Carter?" Serena prodded cautiously, "are you okay?"

"I made a mistake," he whispered, more to himself than Serena.

…

"What?" Chuck furrowed his brow in confusion, eyes still trained on Blair's shivering form. He moved to comfort her, but she only squirmed further away, both physically and emotionally.

"The speech," she relented with a sigh "That stupid fucking speech"

And like a wave, it crashed over him, enveloping him, forcing all the air out of his lungs.

…

"What did you do?" Serena's whisper was fearful, and Carter hated himself more in that moment.

"I didn't hurt her!" He exclaimed warily, "I mean, not physically. You know I'd never-"

"Shh," Serena soothed, attempting to stop his shaking. "What did you do Carter?"

"Yale, I took Yale. Yale. Blair's Yale. Blair's dream."

…

As Blair watched Chuck's shoulders tense, she prepared for what would inevitably come next. And all of a sudden, Lily's words rang in her mind.

"_Do you really think he would have denied you?"_

"_No"_, she had said remorsefully. How ironic that it would be those words she repeated later on.

"_I would've done anything for you Chuck. All you had to do was ask"_

They would die for the other, because that was how deep their love had gone. It was terrible, it was beautiful, it was _Chuck and Blair_.

And when Blair had manipulated Chuck into kissing Mr. Ellis, he had accused her of not believing him her equal.

"_You only manipulate people beneath you"_ he'd told her.

If that was true, then did he believe her so beneath him that he'd manipulate her into meeting Jack that night?

"Don't you see?" Blair croaked out, emptying her words into the silence "this is what we do Chuck. I hurt you, and you hurt me"

"Blair," Chuck squeezed his eyes shut, "Blair, it's not the _same"_

…

"Oh," Serena' s voice was tiny. "How did you manage that?"

"I told them she slept with that Ellis guy to get the freshman toast"

"Carter," Serena's voice was hard, her eyes flashing "You told them Blair _slept_ with Mr. Ellis? How could you?"

"I wasn't thinking!" Carter shouted back, "It's nothing as bad as what Chuck's done to her!"

"Carter," Serena forced a modicum of calm into her voice, "do you really think that by manipulating her she would come back to you?"

"She'd come back to me for _comfort_" Carter all but whimpered, "and then we'd get her back into Yale once she proved that Ellis was gay"

"Weren't you afraid of her finding out it was you?"

"Like I said, I wasn't thinking"

"But Yale is Blair's _dream_," Serena tried again, "How could you?"

"It was a mistake Serena" He punctuated his glare with another swig of scotch.

"Alright," Serena said firmly, "I think that's enough"

Serena attempted to grab the bottle from his hands, but Carter, already nearly a third done, wasn't about to give up his only escape. Attempting to swat her hand away, his swimming vision didn't bode so well with the fragility of the bottle.

He hadn't even realized what had happened until Serena was massaging her shoulder, a look of pure terror on her face, the amber liquid soaking through the golden white brocade of her sleeve, the pieces shattered beside her.

…

Blair's jaw dropped open in surprise, her eyes registering shock.

"No," Chuck interjected before Blair could speak, "I don't mean it that way. Blair, the thing with Ellis was completely different. It was a _kiss_. You weren't asking me to sleep with him."

"But it was for a speech Chuck," Blair said huffily "you traded me for a _hotel_. I think we both know which has more worth"

"Last year, Jack tried to rape Lily. I knew that, and I _still_ sent you to him. You have no idea," he stroked her cheek tenderly, and thought it amazing Blair didn't flinch from his touch. "how sorry I am"

"And," taking a deep breath, "I know a hotel may seem like it has more worth than that toast. But that toast meant _everything_ to you Blair. It stood for what you wanted most. _Acceptance_. And my hotel, well it means everything to me. But it shouldn't have meant more to me than you. I'm so sorry Blair,"

…

Carter stared at the shards on the floor in shock. Serena was scrambling to grab her purse, throwing terrified looks over her shoulder.

"Serena, I didn't mean to-"

But she was gone, the frantic sound of her heels down the hallway ringing in his ears.

_Mistake number two_ he thought, crumpling against the wall.

…

And Chuck moved closer, his eyes seeking permission from her tear-filled ones.

The reality of the situation set in, and Blair pushed her tiny palm against his chest.

"I said I'd forgiven you," she smiled sadly, "but that doesn't mean I still love you."

Her words hit him harder than she'd expected. She saw it in his eyes, as the corners of his mouth fell down, and the hope in his eyes was replaced by despair.

"You'll always love me Blair. I'll always love you, and we're inevitable" he tried desperately.

"No," Blair told him firmly, picking up her purse "You and I aren't _safe_"

"You don't need safe Blair," he told her "You'll get bored with safe"

"Maybe so. But at least it won't hurt this much"

…

Her mind sharpened over her recent encounter with Chuck, Blair's steps were purposeful as she strode from his building. Blair already knew what she had to do, but she hoped she wouldn't have to resort to that.

So immersed in her own thoughts, she didn't realize that she had just walked into a tall blonde, her former best friend to be exact.

Once dusting herself off, Blair schooled her features into the glare she easily wore, but the sarcasm died on her tongue when she saw Serena's amber soaked shoulder, messy blonde hair falling out of a ponytail, and bright blue eyes full of unshed tears.

"S?" she asked lightly, gently. "What's wrong?"

"I thought-" Serena hiccupped a sob, and Blair reached out to her, pulling the taller girl into an embrace "I thought you were mad" she whispered into Blair's hair.

"I can't be mad at my best friend when she's like this," Blair reasoned, though she knew that if she hadn't had that conversation with Chuck a few minutes prior, she would've shot Serena a withering glare and marched away.

But Blair knew now that Serena, however misguided, was only looking out for Blair's best interests. She was protecting Blair from Carter, and later, pushing Blair towards the man Blair knew she would always love, no matter the circumstance".

"What happened, S?" She asked gently.

…

"-and then I left" Serena breathed, watching Blair's face expectantly.

A beat of silence passed. And then another.

"B?" Serena prodded, still wearing her scotch soaked dress.

"He was drunk?" Blair asked quietly, eyes downcast.

"More than I've ever seen him before," Serena affirmed, still clutching onto Blair's arm.

"Then it's okay, right? I mean, it was an accident-he never meant. He didn't know what-"

"I don't know Blair," Serena admitted, "I'd like to think it was an accident, but-"

"It was an accident. He didn't know what he was doing."

"Okay B," Serena placated. She had just gotten her best friend back after all. "It was an accident"

"Are you okay?" Blair asked, almost absentmindedly.

"I'm fine. My shoulder's a little sore, but I'm fine" Serena reassured, still watching Blair carefully.

"What?" Blair snapped in irritation. Her mind was still reeling from the shock.

"B, he took _Yale_"

"I know," Blair told Serena icily.

"How?" Serena asked in genuine surprise.

"Chuck," Blair confessed with an ironic smile. "He showed me Carter's phone records"

"Why does Chuck have Carter's phone records?"

Blair smirked, "He's Chuck Bass" she told Serena in her best imitation of Chuck's voice, leaving the two girls in a fit of giggles that seemed to never end.

…

"His phone records, really?" Serena asked for the fourth time that night as her and Blair curled up in front of the TV, dressed in silk pajamas (Blair) and grey sweats (Serena).

"Yes S, Carter's phone records" Blair replied exasperatedly, shooting the blonde a glare.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"About what?" Blair asked innocently, her gaze never leaving the TV.

"Yale"

"Oh, don't worry about me," Blair told Serena, shooting her a smirk. "I've got a plan"

…

Everything was spiraling out of control. He was sure to lose Blair now, from the pictures of Blair entering and leaving the Palace. And according to Gossip Girl, Blair and Serena were friends once again. Carter had no doubt that it was because of what he had done.

"Damn it!" He yelled, slamming his fist against the wall.

"Carter," a deep voice admonished, and a shocked Carter Baizen turned around, his vision swimming. Arthur Baizen himself stood in the doorway, his gaze of displeasure evident despite the haze of alcohol that clouded his vision.

"What's going on?"

"What does it look like, _father_" Carter sneered.

"Well," Arthur cast a look of disdain at the shattered glass on the carpet. "I got a call form the Dean. It seems Blair's acceptance has been revoked. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

"It was a mistake," Carter repeated the words again.

"Well then, you better fix it. Have you any idea how this looks? Blair slept with some Ellis person for a _speech_?"

"She didn't sleep with him!" Carter exploded. "I only said that so her acceptance would be revoked"

"Why would you do that son?" Arthur asked in bewilderment.

"Because she broke up with me, and this was the only way to get her back"

"By hurting her?" Arthur shook his head. Teenagers these days "How, pray tell, would that help get her back?"

"You wouldn't understand," Carter mumbled. "Hell, even I don't understand Blair"

"Son, we men will never understand women. Now clean yourself up. If you want to win back Blair it won't do to reek of alcohol"

Carter's head jerked up in surprise.

Arthur chuckled, "Blair's been good for you"

And Carter couldn't disagree with that.

…

"Look, sir, I was mistaken" Carter pleaded. "It was never that. Blair never slept with Mr. Ellis to get that speech. It was all a misunderstanding. I know Blair would never do something so immoral, and I was wrong in believing so. She's an amazing girl, Yale should be honored to even be considered by Blair Waldorf"

* * *

tbc


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted this story. As we near the end I hope you've enjoyed the journey I've put Carter, Blair, and Chuck on. I've wrestled with the decision over who Blair should end up with in this story, partially influenced by the comments. But someone reminded me that when I write, I should be writing a story that is influenced by my decisions, and not solely on what my audience wants. That said I hope you'll enjoy the next few chapters as I wrap up this story.

* * *

**

When Blair Waldorf schemed, the world stopped. It didn't really matter whether it was sunny and bright, or cloudy and dreary that day because Blair didn't care. So immersed in her own thoughts that she barely heard Serena's entry.

"B!" Serena nearly yelled, waving a freshly manicured hand in Blair's face. She cowered slightly when Blair turned to glare at her for a moment-quickly replaced by a serene smile.

"S! I didn't hear you"

"No doubt about that," Serena said jokingly "Were you thinking about Yale again, B?"

Blair nodded mutely, and Serena sighed, "Blair, you've really got to stop dwelling on the past. NYU is a good school. It's not like you'll be withheld a future just because you went there instead of Yale"

"I don't _belong_ in NYU, S. I belong in Yale. And Carter took that from me"

At the sight of the anger in Blair's eyes, Serena withdrew immediately

"You're right," she told her best friend earnestly. "So what's the plan?"

"Well," Blair started, "I think it's pretty impossible for me to have slept with Mr. Ellis considering he's gay. And if Yale knew that..."

"They would welcome you back with open arms" Serena finished.

"Yes," Blair grinned, but her smile faltered, "the only problem is, _how_ do I tell them Mr. Ellis is gay?"

"Can't you just ask Mr. Ellis for a favor? Get him to tell them and they will have to believe you"

Blair sighed, "That's just the problem, S. Even if I can convince Mr. Ellis to tell them he's gay, there's no telling whether or not he'll mention how I used Chuck-" at this, Blair winced slightly "-and then everything would be ruined again. And if I tell them Mr. Ellis is gay, they'll think that I'm pathetically making up excuses and I'll be farther from my goal"

Serena pondered this for a moment, but her few minutes of thinking couldn't top Blair's endless hours of considering every angle and strategy.

"You'll come up with something B," Serena told her brightly. "You always do"

"Thanks, S" Blair said with a half-hearted smile, her mind elsewhere.

…

Serena never learned her lesson. Back in her party girl days, the countless hangovers and constant reek of vomit should have convinced her to stop, or at least slow down, her erratic behavior and drinking. But Serena never learned her lesson. And that was the only reason why she was standing outside Chuck's door once again.

She knocked hesitantly, afraid of what her step-brother would be like behind the closed door. Blair had mentioned their conversation briefly, and those few sentences were enough for Serena to be worried.

Her worries were confirmed when a distraught, disheveled, and utterly disgusting Chuck Bass opened the door. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair mussed, and the smell emanating from the room was enough to make Serena wish she hadn't had those croissants with Blair for breakfast.

"Sis," he drawled "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Chuck," Serena returned uncertainly, attempting to peer around his imposing figure "Are you-are you alone?" She squeaked out, her voice coming out at a higher pitch than normal.

Chuck smirked at her, "Not right now, but if you wanted a show you could have shown up last night. The things those girls can do-"

Serena only shook her head, her blonde hair flying wildly around. "I do not need you to finish that sentence. I'm here to help you with Blair" she told him with determination.

"Why?" Chuck mocked, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared down the blonde "Because your plan worked _so well_ last time?"

"Blair and Carter are broken up," Serena pointed out.

"Because he made a mistake-about time I might add-not because I was trying to win back Blair"

"They broke up because Carter was feeling insecure about your gifts and Blair was feeling suffocated by his over protectiveness. And Blair told him that he wasn't _you_. That was the reason they broke up" Serena grinned triumphantly.

Taken aback by this new information, Chuck opened the door wider, inviting Serena inside. Breathing solely through her mouth, Serena cautiously made her way inside, scanning the room carefully before choosing a relatively clean looking brown couch on which she perched, staring at Chuck expectantly.

"She still wants nothing to do with me," he told her with a sigh, sitting across from Serena.

"Well," Serena's voice rang with jubilation. She had finally come up with a scheme grand enough to be thought of by Blair. She believed she deserved a pat on the back. Just not from her stepbrother, thank you very much. "I have another plan"

"Your last plan didn't go so well," Chuck pointed out again.

"Trust me Chuck, you'll be able to win back Blair after this"

"And what do you propose I do?" he inquired, leaning forward on his elbows, ignoring the incessant pounding in his head.

"You're about the only one who can give her what Carter took" Serena told him with a cryptic smile.

"Yale?" Serena threw him a pointed look. As if it were preposterous to think otherwise.

"Yale." She confirmed.

…

They hadn't listened. Ironic how they listened to the lie, and not the truth really. But it didn't matter how ironic this was, because the end result was the same.

He had hurt Blair. And lost her as well.

The former thought was enough to make him want to scream. The latter thought drove him to another bottle and a few random women.

Ever since that night the Yale admissions rep had dismissed his plea, Carter had been wallowing in his own personal pity party. He hated Chuck Bass, he hated Serena van der Woodsen, and he hated Blair Waldorf. The first for just being _Chuck Bass, _the second because she meddled in their affairs too often for his liking, and the third because she had made him fall hopelessly in love.

Love. Wasn't that what had driven him to do this? His love for her?

Wait, what? How could love had driven him to take away the one thing that meant most to his beloved? No, Carter knew that what he had done was pure selfishness. Carter wanted Blair Waldorf to be his, completely and wholly, without Chuck Bass lingering in the back of her mind.

What was that saying? When you play with fire, you're bound to get burned? How was it then that Chuck and Blair had always managed to escape the fire unscathed, while he was left nursing his wounds?

Too many questions, he thought with a frown, taking another long pull from the bottle. Too many questions without answers.

…

Carter may have thought that Blair and Chuck escaped the fire unscathed, but the truth of the matter is, the two of them had burns of their own. But unlike Carter's, their wounds had healed. They say time heals everything.

Their wounds were the hurt inflicted upon each other, each comment and glare, each scheme and manipulation, which they somehow managed to pull through. And when they were together, they were healed. Not as if their wounds had mended, but as if they had never been there in the first place.

…

"Hello, am I speaking to Blair Waldorf?"

"Speaking," Blair managed to find her voice.

"Ms. Waldorf, I wanted to apologize for the rash decision on our part. We should never have jumped to hasty conclusions and revoked your application. If you are so inclined, Yale would be ecstatic to have you join us for the fall semester."

Her heart nearly exploded from shock, and Blair sat down quickly, fearful that she would faint. And Blair Waldorf does not faint.

"When did this happen?" she asked breathlessly, still unable to form coherent thoughts.

"Just a few hours ago. Your boyfriend explained everything. You're a very lucky girl Ms. Waldorf"

Blair stared at her phone in shock. Carter? What had he done? "Yes, well I suppose so" she mumbled.

"Well then, is it safe to say that you will be gracing our halls come fall?"

And just as suddenly as she was shocked, Blair suddenly fell back into reality. Yale had been her dream for as long as she could remember. She still had the tiny Yale sweater her father had given her for her fifth birthday, its worn blue threads tucked away lovingly in her closet. Yale had been the reason she had entered into that business deal with Carter, no matter what reasons had followed. And Yale had been in her grasp before Carter had yanked it away unceremoniously.

But despite all of this, despite the image of her walking throughout Yale's hallowed halls come fall, Blair came to realize that she didn't want to go to Yale. A school as prestigious and ambitious was a perfect fit for Blair Waldorf. But when that school had rejected her not once, but twice, the second time under false pretenses, it didn't seem that Yale was worthy of Blair Waldorf after all.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to decline my acceptance" she said with finality.

The person on the other end sputtered and stammered, and Blair ended the conversation quickly after. There was no use in dwelling on it.

Heaving a sigh, she caught sight of herself in her vanity mirror. Her chocolate brown hair shone, thanks to a recent gloss treatment, and her skin was clear and glowing. The lily green dress she wore accentuated her tiny waist and the halter neckline emphasized her skinny arms. Blair no longer saw the perceived rolls of fat and bloated stomach. She saw herself for what she truly was. Beautiful.

And it had taken giving up her dream to achieve this state of mind. How ironic, she thought with a sigh. In all honesty, giving up Yale hurt. But the incredible feeling of self-worth that now coursed through her veins surpassed that hurt.

Serena had been right. NYU was a good school. And no, Blair Waldorf didn't belong there, but she no longer belonged at Yale either. But maybe, just maybe, Blair could hold out for another semester. If she was truly unhappy she could always apply somewhere else for spring semester. Columbia. The thought popped into her head spontaneously, and she smiled. It was close to home, nearly as prestigious as Yale, and definitely worthy of Blair Waldorf. Harvard also popped into her thoughts, but was quickly dismissed. Blair may never wear bulldog blue again, but that didn't mean she was going to defect to _Harvard_.

She was giving up her dream of Yale once and for all. She didn't _need_ Yale to be Blair Waldorf. She didn't _need_ Carter, Chuck, or Nate to become Blair Waldorf either. And Blair Waldorf could depend on herself for her own success.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the faraway ding of the elevator. Thinking it to be Serena, Blair jumped from her perch and rushed down, eager to share the news with her friend.

But the person coming out of the elevator, peonies in hand, was most definitely not Serena.

…

"Hi,"

"Hi,"

They stood there, awkward greetings exchanged, staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

"So," Nate started "was there a reason you came here?"

"I think Chuck and Blair are going to get back together," Serena divulged with a smile.

"That's…great" Nate replied, making a mental note to talk to Blair later "you came here to tell me that?"

"Well yes. No." Serena shook her head, flustered. "Can I come in?"

Nate raised his eyebrows at her, but stepped aside, allowing her entry.

She had walked in a few steps, before turning around abruptly. "What I meant to say is, if they can be happy, why can't we?"

"We're not Chuck and Blair," Nate pointed out with a chuckle

"I know, and that's exactly my point," Serna told him, eyes glowing "If Chuck and Blair can work things out, why can't we?"

"I don't know," Nate answered honestly.

"Do you still love me?" Serena pressed.

"I don't know," Nate repeated, ignoring the expression that crossed her face.

"Well I still love you, and if you still love me I truly believe that we can make this work."

"How do you know?" Nate asked curiously.

"Look at Chuck and Blair. I'm going to say it again, because apparently you don't listen too well Archibald. If they can overcome all that they've been through, so can we"

A moment of silence passed between the two.

"I lied," Nate said in earnest "I still love you"

…

"What are you doing here?" Blair asked, not wanting his appearance to ruin her good mood.

"Is that any way to thank your saviour?" Chuck mocked "I would have thought you'd be throwing yourself at me in gratitude"

"My saviour?" Blair wondered aloud, her face screwed up in thought.

"You," she said in wonderment "you told Yale"

"I did," he replied with a smug smile.

"_So as you can see, Blair really isn't at fault here"_

"_I see, Mr. Bass. So what you're saying is, Blair never slept with Ellis for that speech"_

_Chuck nodded, "But what I don't understand is, how did she end up getting that speech?"_

_Chuck frowned. He knew it would come down to this, but he hadn't really wanted to divulge this (false) information._

"_Well, Ellis, as you don't know, is gay."_

"_Really, Mr. Bass? And how do I know you're telling me the truth instead of trying to protect Ms. Waldorf?"_

_I'm Chuck Bass, was on the tip of his tongue, but he restrained himself. "Because," Chuck cringed "because I kissed Ellis in order for Blair to get that speech"_

_Peeking out from the corner of his eye, Chuck registered the shock on the other man's face "For Blair, I'd do anything," he said solemnly, because it really was the truth._

_Chuck grimaced. That declaration sounded so unlike him, and thought it was true that he'd do anything for Blair, the deception she had inflicted months ago still stung._

Chuck relished the astonishment that played across her face as he finished his story.

"You see?" he told her "I love you Blair"

"I don't know what to say," Blair told him honestly. She truly didn't. Just moments ago she had been savoring the fact that she was free of all her ties-and now Chuck Bass came crashing back into her life, into her_ heart._ Her fingers ached to touch him, and she realized that Chuck was sorry, truly sorry. He wouldn't have gone through this much trouble if he wasn't sincerely apologetic. And instead of running away, or lining up a few girls to make her jealous, he had tried to win her back.

"You don't need to thank me with words" he replied smarmily.

And there was the old Chuck, she thought as she rolled her eyes. "I just told Yale that I was declining their offer"

Chuck's eyes grew wide "You did _what_?" He did not go through this much trouble, and with certain risk to his reputation, he might add, so she could stay at NYU.

"Any school that believes I would whore myself out for a speech doesn't deserve me." Blair told him with finality "No," she told him with a smirk "I'd only whore myself out for hotels"

Chuck sucked in a breath sharply, and Blair turned to him quickly, his expression softening when he noticed the teasing glance in her eyes. "I truly am sorry," he told her again, as he had been doing for the past few weeks.

"I know," Blair closed her eyes "And honestly, I'd just like to put this behind us and move forward"

"Together?" he whispered, and Blair opened her eyes, suddenly aware of how close he was.

"Together," she affirmed, taking his lips in hers.

…

"We still need to talk," Blair reminded him as they walked hand in hand, hair tangled and clothes wrinkled.

"We'll have plenty of time to talk later," Chuck told her with a smirk. But truth be told, he was afraid that their conversation would include more yelling than actual talking. Right now, their relationship stood on a precipice. Blair had forgiven him, but they still hadn't opened up to each other and actually _talked_. They had given into physical wants rather than giving into each other and simply talking about what happened. It was the calm before the storm. They were happy, but it was the brief happiness that preceded a fight that would leave them shattered and more broken than before.

So he held onto this brief happiness, in the hopes that it would last longer than he hoped.

…

It was quite an embarrassment, really, that Carter Baizen, a grown man in his own right, was subscribed to Gossip Girl. But while she was usually a nuisance, a source of conflict, Gossip Girl had her uses. Right now, however, Carter wanted to thank her.

_**Spotted: A glowing C and B exiting the Palace, hand in hand. Seems like B got over the other C fairly quickly, no?**_

He couldn't believe it. It was barely a week since Blair had declared that she was over them both-that she didn't need either of them. Seemed she got over that idea because she'd moved onto Chuck faster than Carter himself had moved on from girl to girl.

"Fuck!" Carter yelled, throwing his phone against the nearest wall, where it shattered and slid to the floor, remaining in pieces.

He knew it. He should have never tried to manipulate Blair into coming back to him. If he hadn't been so obsessed with trying to better Chuck, he would have noticed that Blair had come to love him. She had never vocalized it, or even written it. But she had shown him, in everything that she did, that she loved him. It may not have been the all-consuming, passionate love she had for Chuck, but she loved him in her own way.

…

As he stepped under the harsh glare of airport lights, his suitcase trailing behind him, a flight bound to England his first destination. He hadn't left, hadn't run away. Instead, he followed the plan as if he and Blair had never broken up, leaving for England instead of running to Prague like he had intended at first.

_This_ proved that he'd grown up. That he wasn't the same Carter Baizen as before, and he hoped that sooner rather than later, Blair would realize this change. And the fact that he was willing to let her go if she never realized this only solidified the fact that he had changed. Blair had changed him, whether she cared to acknowledge this or not.

He was letting her go, because he knew that she eventually would end up with Chuck. And try as he may, he couldn't try and worm his way in between them.

But he would always hope that she'd find her own way back to him.

…

_**Spotted: A stoic C leaving for England. No, not B's current C, her former C. Confusing? I wholeheartedly agree. Our first instinct was that C was running away-God knows he's done it enough times-but my sources prove me wrong. C is heading a new development-one that a certain Bass has invested considerable amounts of money in- and in Europe, of all places! Better say your goodbyes B, looks like this C is going to be gone for a while. **_

Blair sucked in her breath as she read the Gossip Girl blast. She hadn't expected Carter to leave, well she had, but not to England. Instead, she expected him to run away as per usual. It was tantamount to the fact that perhaps he had changed.

Was she wrong in letting him go? Her and Chuck were unbelievably happy at the moment, but they still hadn't discussed what had happened that night. They tiptoed around the subject, substituting kisses and caresses for actual words and phrases.

His hands found her waist, kissing the nape of her neck as he murmured a greeting. And in that, Blair knew that she had made the right choice. With Carter, her response was ecstatic at first, but eventually waned to a half-hearted kiss. With Chuck, they were never half-hearted, every touch igniting a fire within her very core. She blushed as she turned around, her cheeks stained scarlet against the pale of her skin.

"Something wrong?" Chuck inquired as he kissed her fervently.

"Nothing," Blair said, smiling against his lips "It's nothing" she said firmly, pushing all thoughts of Carter out of her head.

* * *

tbc


	11. Chapter 10

**AN: Throwing one last conflict at B/C. You didn't think I'd let them get together so easily, did you? I'm of the firm belief that they still need to talk. And I know I said I only had one more chapter, and then an epilogue. But this chapter turned out really long, so I split it into two. On the bright side, the next chapter is mostly written, so I should be able to update soon. Special thanks to C (SaturnineSunshine) for beta-ing this chapter! And also to Isabelle, who really helped with the characterization. And thanks again to everyone for reviewing-you make my day. I also apologize for the delay in posting. School was kicking my butt, and **_**having**_** to write compositons and essays for Lit class instead of **_**wanting**_** to write somewhat killed my love for writing. But I digress, here is chapter 10!

* * *

**

_Three months later_

Smoothing her hands over the pale pink silk atop her stomach, Blair regarded herself in the mirror. It seemed the shiny veneer that she had polished had not worn off, had not dulled in the slightest. She was with Chuck, _again_, but this time things were supposed to be different. They were different. But they weren't. They were still Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, and needed constant reassurance, constant games, constant love. Or maybe that was just Blair.

However, they still hadn't talked. Day by day, as news of Carter's success in Europe reached her ears, the elephant in the room grew larger and larger, reflecting a rainbow of emotions and troubles that toiled beneath the surface. Their relationship stood balanced on the precipice, frozen in time and unable to move forwards-or backwards, for that matter. It seemed the longer they put it off, the more _static_ they became, and the harder it became to get that words out. Blair knew that if something wasn't done soon, the next little fight they had over the drapery, lime green dress shirts, or missed birthday (her mother's. Blair wasn't too angry with Chuck for making her miss that one) would escalate into a vast hole of threats and accusations, and the phrase that was always on the tip of Blair's tongue would explode.

_You traded me for a hotel_.

Blair had told Chuck she had forgiven him. And she had, truly re-entering this relationship with an open heart. It would be different this time, he had promised her. There would be no more ignored calls and days on end without seeing each other. They would be happy, their relationship free of games and schemes.

But they weren't different _enough_ this time. Blair was dressed and ready to grab a quick lunch with her boyfriend, but the text on her phone's screen told her otherwise. The fact that the text said- _Sorry B. Lunch with clients. Make it up to you tonight-C_, was testament to the fact that they hadn't changed enough.

It wasn't a big deal. But it brought back memories, concerns, and the general feeling that she was nothing more to him than a trophy girlfriend. Here he was, blowing her off again. Though it hadn't happened in the past three months, it had in the year they had been together.

Blair liked to believe herself independent, completely self-sufficient without Chuck. But the truth was, Blair Waldorf needed Chuck Bass sometimes. Even if she was too scared to admit it to herself, let alone Chuck.

Growling with frustration, Blair threw her phone clean across the room, watching as the black cleaved through the silk of her drapes, landing perfectly in a mound of pale blue.

…

Dressed in a grey coat to ward off the chill of October, Chuck Bass stood at the threshold of the Waldorf penthouse, a Tiffany's box in one hand and peonies in the other, ready to beg her forgiveness.

It always seemed to go this way, he mused. He would screw up and then go running back to Blair, his tail between his legs. It was…exhausting would be the appropriate word, but also one that would never be applied to Blair (except in bed, of course).

When his secretary had informed him that morning about Fredrickson's intentions to pull out of the deal-a deal that would cost Bass Industries a pretty penny and lose his footing with the board-the first thing that had jumped into his mind was _How am I going to make this up to Blair?_

It would be another bead on a string of disappointments, but today's lunch was important. Fredrickson's involvement would not only prove to the still reluctant board that Chuck was more than capable, but the return on his involvement was staggering in the least.

Chuck had been at Bass Industries for all of six weeks after closing the deal on the Empire. A week after they had begun a relationship (again), Chuck had decided to list the Empire for sale. It was a decision he had wrestled with for a while, but ultimately, he knew that by selling the Empire he would have gained more than a check and a few zeroes to his bank account. When news of this had reached Lily, she had promptly sold back all the shares she had previously bought from Chuck-at quite a loss too. He hadn't realized what he had done by forsaking the company, but apparently Lily had been quite adept at thinking ahead.

The Empire, was his first building, the first time he had not stood in the shadow of his father, and the first time he had truly felt at home. It would also be the last. The last reminder of how he had hurt Blair once again. It wasn't home. Home was wherever Blair was, he had decided.

And so, he had hurried a deal with a man whose accented English had irritated Chuck, but whose sizeable check and willingness to buy quickly had closed the deal. It had been in the back of his mind since his move from the Empire and into his old suite at the Palace. And once he had acted on it, the sense of loss was overpowered by the sense of relief.

Perhaps Chuck was under his father's shadow once again, treading in his father's very footsteps, even sitting in his father's office, ironically enough. Chuck Bass, however, learned to do things his own way. And his own way included bringing in Carl Fredrickson. Fredrickson meant everything. It would cement Charles Bass as the head of Bass Industries, a child in his own right, but also the CEO of one of the most powerful companies in New York. The idea to bring in Fredrickson, whom the rest of the board had eagerly wanted to meet, had been a combination of his business knowledge and Blair's intuition.

_Blair_, he thought. He wanted to explain, to make her understand. At the end of the day, the files in a cabinet and the numbers on a computer screen meant less to him than Blair Waldorf. He may not have had the best way of showing it-he was Chuck Bass after all-but he loved Blair. And if he had really believed that missing a lunch date would destroy their relationship, he never would've blown her off. But he trusted that Blair would understand this; understand his desire for acceptance, his desire to excel. They were the same after all.

He knew that Blair would not stand by idly as he brushed her off again and again-it was quite the opposite. It seemed that the more he would push her away, the harder she would cling. It was what would save him from himself, because she was the only one who would be able to love him at his worst. But just this one time, he wanted her to understand that this lunch, in which he had managed to assuage Fredrickson's worries, was important.

Making his way over to the stairs, he rushed up the stairs quietly, swiftly making his way to her bedroom door. Dorota was no longer a constant presence in the penthouse, having had baby Lissa a few weeks prior.

He could hear the tap of her fingernails against her keyboard-the same ones that left scars down his back, he thought with a smirk. Chuck lifted a hand, knocking quietly on the wood that separated them, waiting for her reaction.

The melodic tapping stopped immediately, and he could almost hear the sharp intake of breath. She _knew_ it was him, he was sure of that. Another moment of silence passed, and then another. Chuck could picture Blair, behind that door, sitting poised at her desk, glaring a hole through the door as if the intensity of her gaze could scorch him.

"Blair," he called softly "I know you're in there"

And as soon as the words left his mouth, the door inches from his face flew open, revealing an irate Blair Waldorf dressed in a blue silk negligee that made Chuck's mouth go dry. Her gaze fell on the peonies and the telltale Tiffany blue before traveling over his sorry expression.

"Its late Bass," she bit out, eyes still locked on his.

"You know I didn't want to blow off lunch, I had too" he told her, disregarding her comment "I haven't seen you all day."

Blair frowned, "You can't just show up at my door with flowers and jewelry and expect to _buy_ my forgiveness. Money doesn't fix everything Chuck."

It had come out harsher than expected, and Blair regretted her words instantly as she saw the flare of anger in his eyes.

"I wasn't trying to do that Blair," he replied steadily "Remember Fredrickson?"

Blair nodded, curiosity getting the better of her. The two of them had spent many hours plotting over how best to get Fredrickson on board.

"He wanted to pull out of the deal," Chuck explained "He wanted to pull out, and that lunch was the last chance I had to reel him back in. I never wanted to miss lunch with you, but I thought you'd understand."

"I understand. I understand perfectly. You'd rather save the deal."

"Look Blair, it's not like that. You know how important this was to me, to the company. And you know I love you"

"I do." Blair admitted. "I just-"

"You just what?" he asked, stepping closer. When Blair remained silent, he frowned "I didn't come here to argue Blair. I came here to make up for missing lunch."

Blair snapped, the frustrations she had kept hidden finally pouring out "I didn't ask you to come here Chuck! I didn't ask anything of you. I never do. I'm always standing at your side, never included in your decisions, always following you blindly. You said things would be different this time Chuck, what happened to that? It's just like before Ja-" His name stuck in her throat, and when Blair looked up at Chuck, she knew the damage had been done.

"Things are different"

"They are. But we're still falling into the same patterns, the same habits."

"What do you want from me?" Chuck exclaimed. "You find fault with everything I do, and when I try to apologize you push me away"

"I want us to talk, Chuck. We still haven't talked about what happened with-with Ja-" she couldn't get the words out "-with the hotel" she finished lamely.

"You know what?" Blair looked up at Chuck, whose eyes were cast downwards "You haven't forgiven me, have you?"

"What?" Blair's voice was cold as ice, her fingernails digging into the palm of her hands "How could you say that?" She whispered.

"If you had forgiven me, you wouldn't be bringing up Jack"

"I _have_ forgiven you Chuck" Blair took a deep breath "But we still haven't actually talked about what happened"

"What is there to talk about? How I sold you out for a fucking hotel? To my _uncle_, no less? How I went behind your back and manipulated you?" With each question his face crumpled, the flowers finding their place among the fibers of her wool carpet.

"No," Blair said, walking forward, until she was close enough to tuck her head into his chest. She waited, barely inches from him, with baited breath. "We need to talk about what happened so _you_ can forgive yourself"

…

"I've been well," Carter said into the phone as he stared out the window absentmindedly, not seeing the slowly brightening sky. "How's mother?"

He cringed slightly. His mother had not been doing well the last two weeks, an endless amount of doctor's appointments and hospital visits had not helped in the least. Victoria may not have been the best of mothers, but she was his mother-and he wasn't going to lose her.

"Right, of course," he mused. Trust Victoria Baizen to throw a party in the midst of an unexplainable bout of illness.

"I'm not sure-" he began only to be interrupted. "Yes, father I do know that it's your anniversary-" Carter sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose "Of course, yes. Family first."

He listened for a few more minutes, before glancing at the clock "Listen, I have to get to a meeting in a half hour. I'll book my flight to New York tonight if that'll placate mother. But," a note of warning crept into his voice "I won't be able to stay more than a few days".

Once the phone had found its place charging against the wall of his apartment, Carter found himself standing in front of a closetful of immaculately pressed suits and starched white shirts. Gone were the wool sweaters and jeans that he had become accustomed to in his nomadic past. Carter Baizen had changed, grown up, and finally become the man he was meant to be.

And in the past three months, as he dealt with English investors and Parisian ones alike, he had slowly begun to forget about Blair Waldorf. There were still moments where he would check into Gossip Girl-he was a masochist he supposed-and see pictures upon pictures of Chuck and Blair. Chuck and Blair holding hands. Chuck and Blair going to the movies. Chuck and Blair walking in Central Park. Chuck and Blair feeding the ducks. Chuck and Blair (and rather questionable activities in the dressing room, according to Gossip Girl) shopping at Bendels. Chuck and Blair at Tiffany's.

The pictures, and accompanying gossip was endless. He still held out hope for himself and Blair, but in these three months, as he grew on his own and filled out a role that was always just slightly too big for him, the seemingly inescapable snare she had trapped him in had begun to dissolve.

Blair Waldorf had taught Carter Baizen how to love; it was as simple as that. It didn't mean he still wasn't Carter Baizen, but there was no doubt that Blair had changed him. It was this reason that he would always love her in a way. But he was finally beginning to accept that they were never meant to be. And maybe her and Chuck were meant to be. Maybe that Basstard deserved her after all-maybe he was worthy.

This was the reason he hadn't wanted to go back to New York. He had just picked up the pieces and glued them together, had begun to accept that Blair and Carter were not meant to be as Chuck and Blair were. And if he went to New York, to her kingdom, to her soft brown curls and enticing smile, to her doe eyes and soft caresses, then he would surely lose all progress that he had made.

But his father had summoned him, and when Arthur Baizen wanted something, he almost always got it.

…

"How can you expect me to forgive myself?" he asked quietly.

They were both sitting on her bed; a respectable amount of space between them as their eyes searched out the other's for a clue, a shred of something to cling desperately to.

"I won't be with someone who thinks he's a monster," Blair said tightly. "You made a mistake Chuck, and I forgive you for it"

"How can you?" the self-loathing was evident in his voice, and Blair longed to reach for him, to reassure him that it was okay. But these past three months were going to stretch out for another five if they did not talk tonight.

"Because I love you," she said firmly "despite all your shortcomings, I still love you"

"I spent every minute of that night wishing I hadn't made that choice. Even before that moment in your lobby, I wished I'd never sent that package, never consented to Jack's game"

He took a deep breath, and Blair waited for him to continue, playing with the tasseled edge of a pillowcase. The tassel was loose, its threads starting to unravel and fall apart, rich red falling apart under the relentless twitch of her fingertips. She would have to get Dorota to replace it.

"When Jack first came to me, the thought never entered my mind. But then, when I was talking to you later, your words came back to me."

Blair nodded. She knew the exact words he was talking about. How many times had that night replayed itself in her mind? When he had thrown her words back in her face she had nearly broken down. It had never even crossed her mind that Chuck could do this to her-she had known the extent of his ambition, but never believed that he could put _her_ in the place of a pawn.

"I wanted to believe it was the right thing to do. I kept telling myself that it was what my father would have done. That if I chose you over the hotel, I would be every bit as weak as my father had assumed I was."

"Love doesn't make you weak" Blair whispered, "Chuck, you could never be weak-"

"I know. I know that now" he amended "But when for that two hours, I truly believed that there was no other way. A plan just came into my head, fully formed so it would seem as if you were going up there on your own. I called Jack, agreed to his terms, made his swear not to hurt you-"

Chuck squeezed his eyes shut, burying his head in his hands as a fresh wave of guilt washed over him, the memories of that phone call still ringing in his ears, weaving their way into his head, implanting themselves into his nightmares, into his subconscious. He wanted to tell her why he regretted his actions, but also what he had come to learn as a result. It had taken the biggest mistake of his adolescent life to realize this, but he understood that this was how Chuck Bass learned. He learned through mistakes.

Oh, Chuck regretted every decision that had led him to send Blair that dress, that was undoubtedly true. But he also knew why he had done it, and more importantly, why he would never do it again. Chuck knew, or thought he knew, what Bart would've said if he had chosen Blair over the hotel.

_Weak_. Chuck Bass was not weak. But if he had chosen Blair over the hotel, he would've lost a considerable amount of money. It was bad enough that his love for his mother had clouded his judgment-who gives a multi-million dollar hotel to a woman he met two weeks ago anyways? Even if he was his supposed 'mother'. But Chuck had believed that he would be weak if he chose love over money. And Chuck Bass was not weak.

And what had he learned? Chuck had learned that love did not, in fact, make you weak. It was the opposite. Love led you to become stronger, to find that inner strength to make the tough decisions in life.

He wanted to tell her how it had felt like there was that empty hole in his chest again, how he didn't want to be alone after he had gotten a taste of what it was like to be with _her_. Chuck wanted to tell Blair all these things and more, but something wouldn't let him. Perhaps it was the fact that he hated being vulnerable, allowing her access to his deepest secrets, but it was also possible that he still didn't trust her fully.

There was a moment, a time, when he had trusted Blair completely and wholly-and he was confident Blair had trusted him as well. But when she used him for that speech-which, ironically, had been a contributing factor in her forgiving him-his trust in her had begun to wane. The difference was, when he had used Blair to get his hotel back, her trust in him had been shattered.

He had vowed to win back her trust, and slowly, but surely, he was doing so. Chuck just hadn't expected that _she_ would have to win his trust back. And because he didn't trust her fully, Chuck couldn't open up to her.

And so, just as fast as he'd begun to open up to her, the vulnerability in his face was brushed away by the phantom wings of a butterfly, replaced by an expression Blair couldn't decipher. Blair could sense him closing up, pushing her away, and she reached out a delicate hand to his shoulder.

"Can we finish this another time?" he asked quietly

_No_, Blair wanted to scream. She had just gotten to finally let her in and allow her to be privy to the innermost workings of Chuck Bass. But the utter hopelessness in his eyes ate away at her heart.

She had been right. They loved each other too much.

Blair loved Chuck so much she was willing to put her arms around him and kiss him deeply; willing to allow her nightgown to be pulled over her head as he shed his jacket; and willing to accept his embrace, his comfort.

…

"I'll never leave you again," he promised in a whisper as he collapsed beside her, pulling her flush against his side.

Blair nodded against his chest, the post-orgasmic haze still very much present in her mind. Chuck brushed the damp curls away from her face, tipping her chin up to meet her eyes.

"I love you," he reminded her, as he always would.

"I love you too," she whispered, wondering why tears had begun forming at the corners of her eyes.

…

The morning sunshine filtered through the window, alighting on the entwined pair. Blair could feel tendrils of her hair flutter as Chuck's steady breathing continued despite the ringing alarm.

Twisting around until she was facing him, Blair took his face in her tiny hands, hiking a bare leg over his hip as she kissed him.

Murmuring faintly, Chuck opened his eyes, smirking as he noticed Blair.

"Good morning" she whispered against his ear.

"Good morning indeed," he growled, flipping them over until she was pinned under him, under his kiss, under his roaming hands.

"Chuck-" she mumbled

"Hmm?" he responded, continuing to press kisses on her shoulders, her neck, her cheek, and her lips, completing the circuit thrice before looking at her again.

"It's 8am," she said regretfully. "I have classes in an hour and you-"

"Have a board meeting in half an hour" Chuck finished with a groan, flopping beside Blair.

…

"I understand" Blair said offhandedly as she plucked a pair of cobalt pumps from the depths of her closet, wondering if they would match the grey silk of her top.

Chuck, who was in the midst of choosing a tie from his rather large collection that had taken up some real estate in Blair's closet (she had pouted at first, but secretly she loved that he had a place in her closet just as she had a place in his. Unlike before when Blair would simply spend the night at the Empire and Chuck's visits to the Waldorf penthouse, or her dorm, never culminated in overnight stays) understood instantaneously.

"Thank you" he said, making his way over to the mirror where Blair was scrutinizing herself "You look beautiful, by the way" he said against the shell of her ear.

"I promise," his arms wrapped around her waist and she smiled at him in the mirror "that I'll never put business above you. But sometimes I'll need to miss lunch, not because you aren't important to me, but because _our_ future is also important to me"

"Thank you," she responded "And I promise," her eyes dropped down to her shoes "to stand by you."

His answering kiss was all the reassurance she needed, and in her closet, half dressed and hands buried in her boyfriend's hair, Blair realized something.

They were never going to be perfect-they were perfectly _imperfect_ at being Chuck and Blair. And they were going to make mistakes, big and small; Chuck would sometimes forget her in his haste to become a formidable force in the business world; and she herself would sometimes lose sight of what she and Chuck had and fall back into her fairytale world.

But they could, weather it all. Because they were Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck.

It was much later, when Blair was tapping her cobalt heels against the floor and reminiscing about what had transpired in her closet a few hours before, that she would realize something.

They still hadn't talked.

…

_Two days later_

The air was different in New York, he decided. The moment he stepped form the airport and into the din of New York City, he realized that he'd missed it.

England was, _England_. Its main attraction was the fact that Blair Waldorf was an ocean apart, making it easier to forget the doe-eyed brunette.

But New York was a big city, and even if he did have that dinner-a dinner which Chuck, Blair, his parents, and the other contributing members of this Melville building project would be in attendance-he could avoid the pair.

Carter snorted. Attempting to avoid Chuck and Blair was like trying to sidestep a tornado.

He would simply have to deal with it when the time came.

…

It's ironic how when you're expecting something to happen soon, it takes you by surprise when it actually happens. The irrational fear of the jack-in-the-box is most likely borne from the fearful anticipation than the actual fear of the clown. You're _expecting_ the clown to jump out at you, but when he finally does, you are surprised, afraid. Blair knew that Arthur and Victoria's anniversary was coming up-she had been surprised to warrant an invitation, but it appeared that Victoria still held out hope for Carter and Blair-and she also knew that both elder Baizens would want Carter back in the city.

Not to mention, Chuck had been on edge for the past day, and when she finally confronted him he had muttered something about Carter and dinner before gulping down another scotch.

Blair knew Carter would return soon, if only temporarily, and his return put her on edge. Chuck and Blair's relationship, while newly mended, was still dangling on that precipice, their happiness easily snatched from one wrong move.

When she had found out Carter's betrayal, a secondary, afterthought had passed through her mind. With Chuck, she always knew that she would forgive him eventually, a fact that both scared her and drew her closer to him. But with Carter, she had never loved him enough, or even loved him at all, to forgive even the simplest of transgressions. Of course, Carter had not forgotten a date or blew her off. He had taken Yale, with the full knowledge that it was what she most desired.

There was a chance that she had never loved Carter at all, but the fact that he had been the first person to make her feel beautiful, truly beautiful, since Chuck, carved him a special place in her heart. And she never had said those three words, eight letters to Carter Baizen, but perhaps she had _felt _it.

"No," she whispered into the silent air "Carter won't come between us"

The fact that she had voiced a question instead of a statement was worry enough.

…

Dressed in a stunning confection of cream ruffles and seashell pink, Blair's nails dug slightly into Chuck's hand as they wove their way through the restaurant.

The situation was eerily reminiscent of another business meeting, Chuck thought with a smirk. Only this time, Blair was with him, and not in a pseudo-fake relationship with Carter Baizen.

He had received the Gossip Girl update on his phone, and though he had previous knowledge that Carter would be staying in New York, it was a punch to the gut. His trust in Blair had all but been repaired fully, but it seemed as though there was one crucial, empty spot that they could never fill. The past few days he had been extra-attentive, though Blair had to shove him out of her room in an effort to study. It had been an enjoyable, glorious, two days in which he tried to make her-and himself-forget about Carter Baizen.

As they approached the table, Carter sitting on one side, flanked by his mother and Alex Blake. Most of their party had arrived and when the Dittenhoffers finally arrived, pleasantries were exchanged and no one had noticed the growing tension between the three younger members of their party.

Carter, who was after all, Carter Baizen, leered slightly at Blair over appetizers. Blair frowned and grabbed Chuck's hand, looking the other way and catching sight of Chuck's glare.

It would be a long night.

…

"Carter, darling, tell us all about England. I've always wanted to visit" Janna O'Reiley exclaimed over her shrimp and crab salad, which she seemed to have forgone in favor of her husband's steak.

"It's hot in the summer," Carter began with a smile "but it's a wonderful city, really. Fantastic people, and there's this one girl in the office who-"

Victoria glared over her quivering hands as she attempted to grasp her fork, to no avail. Her quelling glower shut Carter up immediately. But not before the damage was done, with Blair gripping her fork tightly as her dinner sat barely touched, though the familiar gnawing feeling had begun growing in her stomach.

Noticing her discomfort, Chuck placed a comforting hand on the small of her back, all while shooting Carter a glare and attempting to quash the niggling thought in the back of his head.

_Did she still love him?_

…

"Thank you for a lovely dinner" Blair said with a beatific smile at Victoria, whose returning smile could've frightened people and endeared them to her.

"Oh, it was my pleasure dear. You know, I hardly see you after you and Carter…" Victoria trailed off, as if lost in thought, though the malevolent glint in her eye was unmistakable "I did so love having you around the house Blair. You were such a positive influence on Carter. I would have loved to see-"

"Did you know?" Blair interrupted suddenly. Victoria, in the midst of touching up her lipstick, paused.

"Did I know what, dear?"

"That Carter lied to Yale so my acceptance would be revoked" It came out cold, unfeeling, masking the hurt that lay underneath.

The information seemed to take Victoria by surprise "Why ever would he do that?"

Blair frowned, and sighed again. There were some things that weren't privy to the adults of the Upper East Side, and this was one of them. "He was afraid I would go running back to Chuck and wanted to make sure I'd stay with him"

Even as she said it aloud, it still didn't make much sense. Perhaps this was the nature of all half-thought out plans.

"Well I'm sure it was just a mistake" Victoria responded laconically "And after all, you did go running back to Chuck, didn't you?" she said sadly.

Caught off guard, Blair could only gape as Victoria capped her lipstick, studying her hair in the mirror.

"I didn't- That wasn't-" Blair sputtered, berating herself internally for not coming up with a better response "I never ran back to Chuck"

"But you're with him now" Victoria said pointedly "And not a week after Carter left for England I saw the two of you at Daniel"

Blair decided not to mention that her and Chuck had been together before that night at Daniel "Mrs. Baizen, with all due respect, this is hardly any of your business", she scolded.

"Blair," Victoria said sadly "I'm dying."

"You seem perfectly healthy to me" Blair replied loftily, though her eyes zeroed in on Victoria's shaking hands.

"I'm not. I've got cancer. Chemotherapy starts next week and I- I wanted to see Carter before, so he could remember me as I am now, before the-"

A sob choked in Victoria's throat, and Blair was suddenly overcome with a desire to comfort the woman. But she stayed rooted in her spot, arms reaching out to empty air.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly "Is there anything I can do?"

"You can get back together with Carter" Victoria said, her voice ringing high and clear through her tears.

Blair recoiled "Mrs. Baizen, I'm sure you of all people could understand this when I say I could never love Carter the way I love Chuck." And it was true. Most of the Upper East Side knew, though it was never acknowledged publicly, that Victoria Nicholas was supposed to marry Martin Dolster. Instead, she had seemingly fallen in love with Arthur Baizen, and the two had eloped when Victoria's parents insisted she marry Martin.

"It would be my greatest wish. To see Carter married and settled down, perhaps with a few children. Wouldn't that be wonderful, dear? Your gorgeous locks and Carter's green eyes." Victoria's eyes glazed over and Blair's dropped to the black and white tile.

"I'm sorry," she said "I'm sorry, I can't give you what you want"

And she turned on her heel, leaving behind a desperate and miserable Victoria Baizen in the women's restroom.

…

"What's wrong?" Chuck asked later that night as Blair sat in front of the mirror, idly brushing her hair as she combed over Victoria's words. "You've been quiet since we left dinner. Which was-"

"I'm fine," Blair set her brush down and turned around, still clothed in only a robe. "I'm just thinking"

"About?" Chuck asked, offering his hand to her. She accepted, and he led her to the bed, pulling her down on his lap.

Blair sighed, studying the intricate network of golden thread on the silk duvet. She knew that this would hurt him.

"Victoria and I had a conversation in the bathroom"

"I noticed that she came out rather shaken-" Chuck said with a proud smirk.

"She's dying, Chuck" Her voice was flat, emotionless once again. Because this time, she didn't know quite what to feel. "Breast cancer," she said, by way of explanation.

"I'll offer the Baizens my condolences," Chuck said.

"Chuck," Blair said quietly "That's not all. She wants me to get back together with Carter."

There was silence, and Blair looked up at Chuck. Her eyes pleaded with him, though pleaded he was unsure as to what she was pleading-his permission to date Carter again? He would never allow it.

"Why?" he choked out, tightening his hold around her.

"She believes she's dying Chuck," Blair said softly, "And she wants to see her only son get married, have kids…" Blair trailed off, and leaned against his chest, the erratic beating matching her jumbled thoughts.

"No," Chuck bit out, turning her cheek towards him "I won't let you. Blair, you don't owe her anything. She'll be fine. Lots of people survive breast cancer."

"But what if she doesn't?" Blair asked "What if she never gets to see Carter get married?"

"Blair, do you love him?" And the pain wedged between his words cut through her like a knife.

"I think- I think I did love him. For a time. But you, I'll always love you Chuck"

"Then you can't. You can't leave me now," Chuck's voice was all but pleading and he silently berated himself for being so forthcoming. "I just got you back Blair, you can't leave me now."

"It's okay," Blair said soothingly, running a hand up his chest to cup his cheek "Chuck, it'll be okay"

"Promise me," he whispered. "Promise you won't leave me."

"I promise," she whispered back, ignoring the voice in her head that told her she would break that promise.

"Thank you,"

And he was broken, so broken that Blair seemed to be the only one to fix him.

…

When he woke up that morning to cold sunshine, there was a moment. That moment between wakefulness and sleep dragged on for longer than usual, and there was a fear in his heart. A fear that he would wake up and she would be gone.

But his worries were for naught, as he opened his eyes and found her still ensconced in his arms, brown eyes gazing up at him expectantly.

"Hi" she whispered, and Chuck breathed a sigh of relief.

"I thought you weren't really here," he whispered, burying his nose in her hair.

"I promised you," Blair said simply, toying with the baby hairs at the nape of his neck. "I have to get going soon, I have a lunch date with Serena."

"Stay," he all but begged "stay here with me today. We can spend the whole day in bed, order room service."

Blair shook her head "I haven't seen Serena in two weeks. And you haven't seen Nate either"

"I don't care," Chuck said adamantly "it was their decision to go on vacation"

"Jenny just got shipped off to boarding school," Blair pointed out, recalling the oh so strategically placed boarding school pamphlets left on Rufus' desk once Jenny had been discovered dealing drugs again. She didn't even have to orchestrate a complex and entertaining scheme. Jenny was stupid enough to get caught; Blair had merely provided the literature to convince Rufus that sending Jenny away would be best for all of them. "They had a reason to celebrate"

Groaning, Chuck released Blair, who kissed him quickly on the cheek, wrapping a sheet around her self. Chuck watched with a frown as she made her way into the bathroom.

"You know, sometimes I really hate S" Chuck said to no one in particular.

"She's my best friend" Blair replied with a smirk, her head popping around the bathroom door. "But you're welcome to join me."

It was all the invitation he needed.

….

Fiddling with the buttons on her coat, Blair stood outside Carter's apartment door for the fourth time that day. She had been surprised that he had kept it when he was supposed to be in England. Maybe the Europe venture really did mean that he wouldn't have to be there forever. She had gotten in and out of the elevator four times, poised in front of the door, ready to knock. She had carefully looked around before exiting the taxi, making sure that there were no annoying teenagers around to foil her plan by texting Gossip Girl.

Serena was currently recuperating from her and Nate's trip to Scotland. The blonde, apparently, was prone to succumbing to jet lag. Blair had been promised a lunch and shopping date, but today, she had something important to attend to. She would figure this out, this irrevocably beautiful tangled mess.

Gathering up her courage, she raised a leather-gloved hand and knocked three times, as loud as she dared. She stood there for a minute, listening for any movement behind the door. Just as she was about to go back to the elevator, a rustle sounded from behind the door

The door swung open, revealing a slightly disheveled Carter Baizen, whose eyes widened in surprise.

"Hello, beautiful"

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tbc


	12. Chapter 11

**AN: Thanks again for reviewing! I'm so sorry to have reneged on my promise of one chapter and an epilogue…but combined the chapters were around 20 pages. And I think everyone would prefer two shorter chapters than one huge one! And this was a particularly fast update if I do say so myself! This is the last chapter in the story, the epilogue follows. I'm also planning (a rather smutty) outtake, but we'll see how that goes. Huge thanks to C (SaturnineSunshine) for her beta work and incredible encouragement. On a side note, if anyone has twitter, feel free to follow me (link on profile)-I love talking to other GG fans.  
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For most of their high school lives, beginning on the second day of freshman year to be exact, Gossip Girl had been the bane of their existence. The malicious blogger had blogged about all kinds of gossip, true or not, but also focused on a certain four, crafting N, B, S, and C into mini-celebrities. There had been many a fight over what Gossip Girl had posted, and many friendships had been broken up over her posts. But sometimes, sometimes Gossip Girl had her uses.

Such as now, when Blair had lied to him and gone to see Carter instead of Serena, Chuck really appreciated Gossip Girl. It wasn't that he couldn't believe his eyes. It was that he _didn't_ want to believe his eyes.

Was it just a mere two hours ago that Blair had been pressed up against the shower wall, legs wrapped around him, his name on her lips? A mere two hours ago she had kissed him goodbye and left with a promise to meet him after lunch.

But she had gone to see Carter Baizen. The proof was right there on the screen on his Blackberry, clear as day. Last night, when she had admitted to him that she was _considering_ Victoria Baizen's words, his heart had all but stopped. It had been his greatest fear, that just when he had her, he would lose her. Carter was all that was good in Chuck with a splash of Nate thrown in for good measure. However, it was not Carter's allure that scared Chuck. It was the fact that Carter had picked Blair up when she was down, pieced her heart back together before stealing it from him. Blair had claimed that she had _loved_ him.

Chuck slammed the glass down on the granite of the bar, picking up his phone-which still displayed the picture of Blair outside Carter's building-and making his way out of the suite.

…

"-and then she started talking about how we could get married, have kids." Blair stopped, lifting her head up to gauge Carter's reaction. He wore the same baffled expression that she had seen when she knocked on his door. Was this a mistake? Blair had intended to bring clarity to her situation, and it seemed that talking to Carter was logical. Smart, even.

But now, as they sat across from each other, Blair fiddling with her hands and Carter staring at her over a glass of scotch, she wondered if she was here because she truly did miss him.

"I don't know what you want me to say Blair," Carter replied hoarsely "I just found out yesterday that she _has _cancer"

"Oh," Blair said in a tiny voice "I'm sorry Carter, I really am."

"She was never the best mother around, I mean, we live in the Upper East Side, those are pretty rare" he managed a chuckle, but it came out weak and tired "But I don't want to lose her"

"I know," Blair said again

"What do you think? About my mother's…request?"

"I don't know," Blair admitted. "I do believe that she will survive. I watched her growing up-she's strong. But if she doesn't," her voice broke, and tears threatened to fall. Blair wondered why she was crying-it certainly wasn't her own mother, or anyone particularly close to her. "If she doesn't, and her last wish is to see you married and with kids-"

"Would you do that? For her, for me, Blair?" Carter asked, leaning forward, the hope in his eyes was evident. But in the depths of those green eyes, there was also despair.

"I don't know," Blair repeated "I want her last wish to be fulfilled, but I don't think I could do that to Chuck. I love him too much"

"You love him," Carter said tonelessly "You could never say that about me"

"No," Blair agreed "I never said that about you, but that didn't mean I didn't _feel_ it"

"You loved me?" Carter asked, and Blair looked at him curiously, wondering why the disbelief in his voice was so evident.

"I think I did. You picked me up and put me back together when I was down. I'll always love you for that. And I was in love with you for a time as well. But I don't think, that I could ever be in love with you like I'm in love with Chuck."

Carter felt his heart tug painfully in his chest as his suspicions were confirmed. "I'm sorry about Yale," he offered instead. "It was stupid, thinking I could manipulate you into falling for me."

"Why did you do it?" Blair asked. She would be lying if she said it didn't hurt. Yale had been yanked from here before she really even had them in her grasp. She was over Yale, she supposed, over the fairytale she had planned for so long. Columbia was well within her grasp, and so was a future with Chuck.

"I wanted you to stop loving Chuck," he confessed "And I believed that by taking away something you wanted, you would run to _me_ for comfort, instead of Chuck."

"Carter-" Blair began, shaking her head slightly.

"I get it." He interrupted her "I get it now. You'll never love me like you love Chuck,"

"I won't," Blair shook her head. "I'll never love anyone like I love Chuck"

Carter nodded, "Do you still love me?"

The question was simple, the delivery emotionless. Carter wasn't sure what he wanted her to say. If she said 'no', perhaps he could move on with his life. He was already starting to get over her after all. But although her pull over him had been lessened, he wondered what would happen if she said 'yes'. A part of him hoped she would say yes-but a part of him also hoped she would say no.

Looking up into his eyes, Blair couldn't feel anything but pity. "I'm sorry," she said with finality.

And suddenly, his arms were around her, his nose buried in her hair. "Okay," he whispered. His sigh was wistful, but also relieved. Carter was letting her go.

"Thank you," Blair turned to leave, giving him one last sad smile.

…

He stood, outside Carter's building, watching the door like a hawk. The frosted, dark glass made it nearly impossible to see inside, but the moment a slim brunette in a dove grey coat rounded the corner and walked towards the double doors, he knew it was Blair.

"Done so soon?" he called out.

Blair, who was in the midst of checking her text messages and opening the door, looked up at the sound of his voice.

"Chuck" she said quietly.

"You know, when Gossip Girl sent me those pictures I didn't want to believe her"

Blair frowned, checking her phone once again. Had she been singled out from a mass Gossip Girl text? "There wasn't a Gossip Girl blast"

"No," he agreed, still leaning against the side of the building. "There wasn't. Dear old Gossip Girl decided to send the pictures solely to me. She asked if I would like them to be posted, perhaps with a comment or two from yours truly."

"Gossip Girl doesn't work that way," Blair replied, her frown deepening "she doesn't want just one person to know, she wants _everyone_ to know."

"Well maybe you were wrong about her. It wouldn't be the first time," Chuck sneered "And you'll be happy to know I stopped her from posting the pictures. You're welcome."

He turned to stalk away, whipping out his phone to text his limo driver.

"Wait," Blair called out, running behind him "Chuck, wait."

"What?" he snapped, his back still facing her. "It's not what I think?"

"Nothing happened, Chuck. Nothing. I went up there to figure things out with Carter, and we just _talked_." Blair said earnestly.

Chuck remained frozen in front of her, phone still I hand, eyes glued to the ivy climbing up the white walls. "Which is more than I can say for you and I"

"Fine. You want to talk Blair? Let's talk. Let's talk about how you lied to me and went to see Carter. Let's talk about how you set me up and used me to get what you wanted." Chuck had turned around, the fury in his eyes blazing as he studied her closely.

"Why won't you just trust me?" she pleaded "Nothing happened Chuck between Carter and I Chuck. I needed to figure things out, I needed to talk to him."

"I can't trust you Blair. I haven't trusted you since you manipulated me into kissing Ellis." His voice rose, attracting the attention of more than a few passing people-whom he hoped didn't read, or know of, Gossip Girl. She may have been useful, but she was mostly bothersome.

She blanched, her tears threatening to fall as she cringed away from his words. A few people threw looks of curiosity over their shoulders, and Blair winced inwardly at what this must look like to outsiders.

"This is hardly the place Chuck" Blair's voice didn't quaver, didn't tremble. She wove amicability through her tone, but her heart ached inside.

"So now you don't want to talk," Chuck said with a disconcerting laugh, "I'm done Blair, I'm done with your games."

"It wasn't a game," she whispered, too quiet for him to hear as he stalked away.

…

"Hello?" Nate said quietly into his phone, extracting himself from a still-sleeping Serena. The jet lag had barely affected him, but Serena had been dead to the world for most of the afternoon. He had been content to simply lay beside her, tangling his fingers in her golden hair and watching the steady rise and fall of her chest.

"Nate," the person on the other side breathed a sigh of relief, and Nate wondered if she had been crying.

"Blair? What's wrong?"

"I think Chuck and I broke up," Blair said quietly "I tried calling S but she's-"

"Pretty much dead to the world right now. Where are you?"

He could hear her sob, and subsequent sigh of relief "Penthouse"

"I'll be there in 20" he promised, before clicking off and sighing into the empty room.

Making his way back to Serena's room, he sat down beside her quietly, brushing a stray lock hair from her face.

"Hey Natie," she whispered, eyes still closed. "What time is it?"

"It's five in the afternoon," Nate said with a quiet laugh "I'm going to go visit Blair, but I'll be back soon. Go to sleep"

Serena swatted at him as best she could, "Why are you visiting Blair?" she couldn't help but wonder at his intentions.

"I think her and Chuck broke up" Nate said ruefully,

"Oh. Oh no," Serena mumbled, "I need to see her"

But she remained half-asleep on the bed, and despite her protestations, Nate just smiled. "Relax Serena, I got this one covered. After all, wasn't it you plotting to bring back Chuck and Blair before? Now it's my turn."

He could still hear her giggles as he left the penthouse.

….

Nate had imagined what Blair had looked like when they had broken up the first time. The first time her and Chuck had slept together, ironically. Before he had known of his ex-girlfriend and best friend's indiscretions, he had wondered what Blair was doing.

Tiffany's on the TV, perhaps a carton of Haagen Dazs fat-free sorbet and some Godiva truffles. He had painted a picture of Blair despairing over him, but when he realized that she had spent the night with Chuck instead, all bets were off.

He had heard from Serena what Blair looked like the many times her and Chuck had broken up, or gotten into another fight. But nothing the blonde had described would have prepared him for _this_.

Because Blair wasn't crying her eyes out or purging her feelings; she wasn't eating cartons of ice cream or lamenting over lost love. She was simply sitting there, in the center of her bed, twiddling with a tassel on a pillow. It seemed that she had been sitting there for a while, as the tassel was mostly unraveled, a few errant strands hanging off. The rich red of the fabric seemed so desolate against her bloodred fingertips.

"Hey Blair," he said quietly, shedding his jacket and making his way over to the edge of her bed.

"Thanks for coming," she said tonelessly. "You're an acceptable replacement for S"

"Thanks, B." he said with a short laugh. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," Blair replied automatically.

"You're not fine," Nate told her "Otherwise you wouldn't have called me"

"I'm beginning to think that was a mistake," Blair said wryly

"Haha. Very funny, B. Blair, what's going on?"

"I think Chuck and I broke up," and just like she had on the phone, she dissolved once more into sobs. Nate patted her back awkwardly, unsure as to how to comfort her.

"What happened?"

In that moment, Blair suddenly wished for Serena. She would understand, would know what to do. Serena wouldn't ask her what had happened because she knew that Blair wouldn't want to talk about it. Nate, on the other hand, clueless as ever, would push her to talk about it.

Maybe that wasn't so bad, she mused. Maybe just _talking_ about it would help.

"He doesn't trust me" she began, "He told me that after what I did to him, he doesn't trust me"

"What did you do?" Nate asked, confused as ever. But perhaps his confusion was aiding her in understanding this. "If I recall correctly, it was Chuck that screwed up"

"But I screwed up before that," Blair explained "I manipulated him into kissing this guy- Mr. Ellis- so I could get the freshman toast. Don't you see? We both hurt each other."

Nate frowned, "But you weren't asking him to sleep with that dude. Blair, the situations are completely different."

Blair huffed "I know, Archibald. But he still hasn't forgiven me for that. Chuck doesn't _trust_ me after that. And today, I went to see Carter-"

"Why would you do that Blair?" Nate's tone was patronizing, and Blair glared at him venomously.

"Because we needed to talk. I needed clarity." She neglected to mention Victoria's involvement, knowing that the Upper East Side matron would rather tell the public in her own way.

"And talking to Carter, it helped?"

"It did," Blair said out loud, without meaning to. "Because I talked to Carter I realized that Chuck and I were meant to be."

"But Chuck found out you talked to Carter" Nate pointed out.

"Yes," Blair admitted, "I should have told him. But I needed to talk to Carter and I knew he would never let me go."

"Because you believed he didn't trust you"

"I never said that," Blair exclaimed "I thought he trusted me. I thought he'd forgiven me for what I did to him"

"Have you forgiven him?"

"I have. But we still haven't talked about it. Every time I try and get Chuck to open up and talk about it, he brushes it off"

"I don't know about Chuck, Blair. He's been my best friend for years and I still haven't figured him out. But if you really love him, then go talk to him."

"He won't listen," Blair said despairingly "Chuck won't even _look_ at me"

"I'll talk to him," Nate promised.

"Thanks Archibald," Blair replied with a smile.

…

"Chuck?" Serena pounded on the door once again, "Chuck, I know you're in there. If there's a girl in your bed you better kick her out and get dressed. I need to talk to you."

Serena had woken up a few minutes after Nate had left, unable to sleep without him, she supposed. She knew that Nate had gone to comfort Blair, and she figured it was her duty to see that her step-brother wasn't drowning in his own vomit.

"Chuck!" she called out again in frustration. "I know you're in there!"

"Actually, S, I'm out here" the boy in question said with a smirk.

"Oh," Serena blushed, hoping the neighbors hadn't been too irritated. "I thought you were-"

"Inside. Yeah, nice to see the blonde Serena van der Woodsen once again."

Serena glared at Chuck, stepping aside to allow him access to the door. "I need to talk to you"

"Blair send you?" he asked without humor.

"No. I heard from Nate that you two had broken up"

"Nate?" the disbelief in Chuck's voice is clear. He hadn't told Nate-yet-and it seemed that Gossip Girl had either chosen not to blog about their break up (unlikely) or she simply did not know (more likely). "How does Nate know?"

"Blair called him," Serena said with a shrug. She honestly didn't mind Blair needing Nate when she was sad, trusted that her best friend and boyfriend were simply platonic, and nothing else. But Chuck, on the other hand, was obsessive and protective to the core-his insecurities manifesting when he feared he would lose someone. And Nate, Nate had almost always been the number one contender for Blair's affections back in high school. But that was the point. They were no longer _in_ high school. They had grown up, or so Serena liked to believe.

"Why wouldn't Blair call _you?_"

Serena shrugged, "I was asleep. She needed someone and Nate was there for her"

Chuck grumbled something under his breath, making his way over to the couch.

"How are you?" Serena asked, cautiously peeking inside to make sure there wasn't anything she didn't want to see.

"Fucking fantastic" Chuck replied dryly, searching the cupboards for a clean glass. "How do you think I am, S?"

"What happened?" Serena asked gently.

"Isn't that a question that you should be directing to your best friend?" Chuck sneered, finally finding a clean crystal tumbler. As if it would be criminal to drink scotch out of anything else.

"I want to hear it from you," Serena said simply, watching as Chuck poured a sizeable drink for himself. "Chuck, don't you think you've had enough?" She had smelled the alcohol on him when he had brushed past her to open the door. To say that he was drunk would be an understatement. Yet Chuck had always been the one who held his alcohol best, appearing sober even when completely inebriated.

"Have you met me?" Chuck asked sardonically. "You don't want to hear it"

"I do," Serena replied stubbornly "What happened between you and Blair? Everything seemed to be going so well. Did something happen at the dinner last night?"

"Something happened at dinner last night," Chuck replied darkly "Victoria Baizen happened."

Serena frowned, "What does Victoria Baizen have to do with anything?"

"She asked Blair to get back together with Carter"

"Oh," Serena's frowned deepened, and Blair's voice flew through her mind. '_You'll get wrinkles S'_ "But Blair would never-"

"She would," Chuck interrupted. "She would because Victoria has cancer."

The word cancer, struck a chord in Serena's heart. When Lily had revealed that she had cancer, and had been keeping it from them for a while, she had almost collapsed from the thought of losing her mother. Carter Baizen may not have been her favorite person, but no one deserved to lose a mother.

"It's Victoria's dying wish." Chuck snorted, "She isn't dying yet"

"What did Blair say?" Serena asked, ignoring the jibe. Chuck was clearly intoxicated, and Serena knew that he didn't truly mean it.

"She said no, of course. She promised me she wouldn't go back to Carter, but this afternoon she-" The words caught in his throat, and he chased them down with another gulp. His glass was running low, he mused. It would be smart to refill it now, rather than later, when he had drunk the very last drop and was thirsty for more.

"What did she do?" Serena prodded, leaning forward, eyes full of pity.

"She went to visit Carter. She fucking lied, telling me she was meeting you."

"Let me guess," Serena frowned "Gossip Girl sent out a blast that Blair was at Carter's and you confronted her?"

"Something like that," Chuck muttered "She sent the pictures solely to me, asking if I would like to comment on them before she posted them."

"I never saw that post"

"That's because she never posted it. I told her not to"

"And she listened?" Serena's voice was full of disbelief. It was unbelievable enough that Gossip Girl had sent Chuck the pictures instead of posting them, but _listening_ to him and not posting them at all? Completely out of character.

"She did. I'm not sure why, but she didn't post them"

"Maybe Gossip Girl's a Chuck and Blair fan as well," Serena teased. Serena giggled at the thought, and Chuck only rolled his eyes in faux-annoyance.

"Chuck, you still love Blair" Serena's 'serious' voice had returned, once her giggles had subsided, of course.

It was said so simply, without hesitation or enthusiasm. It was a simple statement of fact, as if Serena was commenting on how blue the sky was, or the color of her shoes.

"You don't stop loving Blair" he responded, just as simply.

"Then why did you walk away from her?" Serena knew that Chuck had walked away, and not the other way around. Blair just didn't work like that. She would rather fight for something than run away from it. Flight was not in Blair's nature, and when Blair considered running away from something it was a signal that things had gone horribly wrong.

"Why do you assume I walked away from her?" Chuck spat "I'm not always the bad guy Serena. I've hurt Blair, but she's hurt me too"

"Like with the speech?" Serena had known the full extent of Blair's guilt over the speech, but it appeared that Chuck still harbored an inner hatred over the situation.

"She manipulated me into kissing another guy. For a damn speech. How do you expect me to trust her after that?"

"Well," Serena began gently, knowing she was treading on eggshells "You sold her out for a hotel"

"I know."

"Then it's a sort of double standard, isn't it? Chuck, you can't blame her for doing manipulating her when you did the same thing to her."

"But _she_ started it. She was the first to bring the game out of bounds, to step over that line. And from there, it just spiraled out of control." Saying the words aloud confirmed what he had been feeling all along. He still blamed Blair, however irrational it was, for being the first to cross that line.

"That's just it Chuck. You guys can't be playing games. It's not healthy."

"You don't think I know that? I've been trying Serena. This time was supposed to be different. No lies, no games. And she was the first one to break that rule."

"You still love her" Serena reminded him gently "You'll find a way to forgive her"

"I think I already am," he admitted. "I love her too much to hate her"

Serena smiled, "You both need time, and then you need to talk. Really talk this time,"

"I doubt she'll want to talk. I told her I was done"

"It'll be okay Chuck. It'll work out in the end." Serena whispered, watching her stepbrother break down in front of her.

…

_One week later_

It had been a week since she last talked to Chuck, the two studiously avoiding each other. Blair knew she had made another mistake in lying to him about Carter. And maybe he didn't trust her, but she still loved him all the same.

Blair knew that she had forgiven Chuck, but she still wanted him to talk to her, to open up to her and tell her _why_ that night had happened. And if he didn't trust her, she realized, that would never happen. Perhaps they had jumped into this relationship too quickly once again.

They _had _jumped into it too quickly, almost immediately after her and Carter had broken up. _That_, Blair understood, was their problem. She would go to Chuck for comfort, and he would offer it to her on a silver platter. They hadn't touched down onto reality yet, but when they did they would shatter.

Momentarily shaken from her thoughts, Blair breathed a quiet sigh as she walked into Bendels. She had been indulging in a lot of retail therapy as of late.

Catching sight of someone familiar, Blair noticed the blonde hair of one Victoria Baizen. She kept her distance, unsure as to how Victoria would respond to her. She had, after all, decided not to get back together with Carter.

Blair ducked behind a rack of dresses as Victoria turned, her tired eyes sweeping the rows upon rows of silk and twill in front of her. She wore no makeup, Blair noticed, which was as uncommon in the Upper East Side as a ten year old without a cell phone. Victoria's face was barren of foundation or blush, her complexion almost as tired as the lines around her eyes. Her treatments must have started, Blair realized. Those tired, old eyes seemed to speak volumes. They spoke of despair, mixed with misguided hope and exasperation with the world in general.

Maybe going back to Carter wouldn't be so bad, Blair mused. She may not have loved him like she loved Chuck, but she could be happy. If Chuck was truly done with her, then maybe Carter deserved a chance.

…

"Hey Nate,"

"Blair," he acknowledged. "What's up?"

"I saw Chuck today. He avoided me, as per usual"

Her strong front was admirable, that much he would say. But in the realm of Chuck and Blair it was always smoke and mirrors. "You're avoiding him too Blair"

"I know," Blair despaired "I just don't know what to do to make things right again"

"Give him some time," Nate suggested, only to be met with a fierce glower on Blair's end.

"I have been giving him some time Nate. And I've been thinking…"

"About?" Nate inquired. Sometimes he felt as though he played therapist to Blair and Chuck.

"If Chuck said he was done, would it be so bad if I fulfilled Victoria's wishes?"

A childlike expression fluttered across her face as she looked up at Nate, willing him to answer her, to give her a direction.

She was so lost.

…

_Two days later_

The plane ticket was booked, her luggage was packed, and Blair Waldorf stood in the foyer of her penthouse, smiling beatifically at a bewildered Serena van der Woodsen.

"B, where are you going?" Serena cried out, dropping the croissants onto the marble floor.

"I'm not going to tell you S," Blair giggled slightly at Serena's faux-outraged expression "you'll tell _him_."

It surprised her how she still wasn't able to say his name, still didn't want to talk about him. Because talking about him meant that she would think about him. And that was the last thing Blair Waldorf wanted to do at this moment.

"But, this is so sudden!" Serena exclaimed frantically "B, do you know what you're doing?"

"I know, S. I'll be transferring to Columbia in the Spring and I don't need any of my courses at NYU. Those credits are pretty much worthless anyways. NYU has been notified of my absence."

"You're running away," Serena told her

"No, S." Blair was adamant "I'm taking a break"

Serena looked at Blair, whose smile was just a little off-kilter, eyes a little sad, and nails a little (okay, more than a little) chipped. "You'll come back, won't you?" Serena pleaded, and in an instant the six-year-old Serena whose father had left on a business trip and never came back was standing in front of Blair.

"I'll come back S," Blair smiled wider "I'm going to Europe. I won't tell you where exactly. I'll stop by daddy's for a bit. But if I don't come back in six weeks you're welcome to send out search parties" She explained with a laugh.

"Six weeks?"

Blair nodded, "It's not excessive. I-"

"Chuck still loves you," Serena tried again, as she had in the past week.

"Don't. Just don't, S."

"Okay," Serena whispered, enveloping Blair in a hug.

…

"Chuck," Nate growled at his phone "Come on Chuck, pick up your damn phone"

"Nate?" came the tired voice of one Chuck Bass "Too early man"

"Chuck, it's noon." Nate shook his head, praying to God he wouldn't hear a female voice in the background anytime soon.

"Still too early. To what do I owe the pleasure Nathaniel?"

"It's Blair"

As soon as the words left his mouth Nate could picture Chuck sitting straight up in bed, running his fingers through his hair, and panicking.

"What happened?" Chuck asked after a moment, his voice breathless. Nate knew that he had just run to the bathroom, or quite possibly, the closet.

"She's leaving. Serena just told me. And made me promise not to tell you, I might add"

"Where?" Chuck's voice was distant, and Nate knew that he had been put on speakerphone while Chuck unearthed a shirt from the depths of his closet.

"She's headed to JFK as we speak. To Europe. Chuck, do you know who's in Europe?"

"Carter." The menacing growl on the other end was still distant, but Nate could almost see the anger in Chuck's eyes.

"She came to me the other day, talking about Carter and Victoria-"

A loud crash could be heard on the other end, and Nate jumped, "Chuck what happened?"

"Tripped." Came Chuck's voice, stoic and still faraway.

"Like I was saying-"

"I got it Archibald," Chuck said tightly, his voice finally devoid of the distant quality that speakerphones usually provided.

"Chuck, she's going to Car-"

"I said I've got it" Chuck growled, and Nate winced.

"Are you going after her?"

"I'll follow her wherever she goes," Chuck admitted quietly. Nate was sure the sentiment was not meant for him when the line went dead.

…

Cursing the New York traffic, Chuck burst into JFK frantically, scaring passerbys and small children alike.

"Dammit Waldorf" he muttered under his breath. The airport was packed, to say in the least, and Chuck was completely unfamiliar with JFK. He had a private jet at his disposal after all.

But this was Chuck on a mission, determined as ever to search out every flight until he found Blair. His mind reeling, he wondered how best to stop flights from departing. A terrorist threat perhaps? The errant thought was laughable, and he could almost hear Blair's voice yelling at him for thinking such absurdity.

Chuck almost laughed in relief as he heard a sweetly malicious voice threaten a cowering female behind the airline desk.

Weaving his way through a throng of people, Chuck grinned in admiration as Blair threw out threat after threat if she was not given a first class seat.

Finally reaching her-and her considerable amount of suitcases-he called out her name.

"Blair." It was breathless and tired, but full of the relief that was reflected in his eyes.

He watches as her back stiffened, as she turned slowly and spotted him.

Leaving the woman at the counter with a few choice words, Blair grabbed her trolley of suitcases and walked towards him.

"What are you doing here Chuck?"

"I won't let you run away. I won't let you give up on me. On us"

Blair sniffed "If I recall correctly Chuck, _you_ were the one who said you were done."

"I didn't mean it. Dammit Blair, you know as well as I do I make mistakes. You make mistakes. We're not _perfect_."

Still frowning at him, Blair quietly motioned him towards an airport bar, away from prying eyes.

Once safely ensconced in a darkened corner, Blair began. "We can't keep doing this Chuck. Playing these games. Avoiding the true issues-" She sighed "I'm so tired Chuck. It's exhausting hating you."

"Then don't," he pleaded "Blair, I still love-"

"Don't say it. Don't say it if you don't mean it" She told him tearfully. "And you won't mean it because you told me once before that the reason you couldn't tell me you loved me was because you didn't trust me."

A beat of silence passed, and Blair could feel her heart breaking slightly. "Do you trust me Chuck?"

"Not yet," he admitted "But I understand. I get it-why you did what you did to get that speech."

"We're the_ same_," he surged on when she didn't respond "We're the same Blair. We love each other, but we also love acceptance. We fight for what we want because we that's who we _are."_

He had grabbed one of her hands in his, taking it as a good sign that she hadn't pulled away. Still, she remained mute.

"I forgive you Blair. I forgive you because I know why you did it. For the very same reasons I traded you for the Empire. Our ambition got the better of us."

"Say something," he pleaded, watching as tears tracked down her face.

"Thank you," she replied stiffly. "Forgiving me. Thank you"

"You're still angry," he realized, drawing back. "What are you angry about?"

"What happened that night Chuck? Why did you clam up when I tried to talk to you?"

"Because I blamed you," he replied, eyes downcast "you initiated this game. _You_ stepped out of bounds first. And I couldn't forgive you for that. But now, -now that I understand why you did it I can forgive you."

"I truly am sorry about what happened with Ellis," she told him.

"I know. Do you want to know what I wanted to say that night?" He didn't wait for her answer, forging on stubbornly "After I knew what it was like to be with someone, with _you_, I didn't want to be alone anymore." He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as Blair traced the perimeter of a coaster.

"Please don't go to England."

"England?" Blair's face screwed up in confusion "Chuck, this plane ticket is to _France_, not England. I was going to visit my father. Why would I go to England?"

At his expression, Blair scowled. "Carter. Chuck, why would you think that-"

"Nate," Chuck growled "I'm going to kill him"

Blair chuckled weakly, "Chuck, when has Nate ever been a reliable source?"

Chuck laughed slightly "I suppose he _was_ the kid who wouldn't believe that Santa Clause was a charade"

"He believed in the tooth fairy until he was twelve" Blair said with a shake of her head. She caught sight of Chuck's grin and a small blossom of hope bloomed in her chest.

"I'm sorry." She began "I'm sorry for going to Jack-"

"That wasn't your fault," Chuck placated her "You were going to him for _me_. I should be sorry-for trying to insinuate that you went up there for him"

"I did go up there for you," she acknowledged "But I'm sorry for lying to you about Carter. I'm not sorry for going to see him though." She paused, gauging his reaction carefully. "I needed to recognize the fact that Carter and I were never meant to be. Without realizing that I never would have allowed myself to love you as much as I do now."

"I'm wanted to trust you" He closed his eyes "I wanted to believe that you would never have gotten back together with Carter"

"I _promised_ you. And when I promised you, there was something telling me that I would break that promise if I didn't figure things out with Carter. We just _talked_. I love you Chuck,"

"I believe you," when the doubt flickered in her eyes, Chuck pressed on "I believe you Blair. Just don't lie to me again, okay?"

Blair nodded, wiping away a stray tear as he drew circles on her palm.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, staring into each others' eyes and wondering the same thing. Chuck was the first to break the tentative silence, first to voice the question ringing in both their heads.

"Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know," she confessed "I don't know where we stand"

"I love you. And I- I trust you"

Somehow, those three words, _nine_ letters were harder to say than the former phrase. _Trust_ was so different than love-but it meant all the more to Blair to hear him say those three words, _nine_ letters.

"I love you too," she admitted. "But we can't just jump back into a relationship again Chuck. Look what happened the last time. We need some time…apart. We need to grow as Chuck and as Blair, not as Blair-and-Chuck or Chuck-and-Blair. You need to focus on Bass Industries, and I, well I need to focus on _me_."

She watched his face carefully, watching for signs that he would run at her very words. "I've pretty much always been in some relationship or another," Blair told him "It was Nate since elementary school. And when we broke up I had you. Then we ended our…well I suppose affair would be the appropriate word, but I don't think that's what it was. It was Nate for a while, and then it was Chuck and Blair again. Marcus came next, I believe, and then that odd limbo we had between a friendship and a relationship. Carter next, and then Nate…and then you for almost a year. And recently, Carter. And then you. Again"

Pausing to catch her breath after the rambling monologue, Blair smirked slightly "Do you not realize how convoluted that sounds? Chuck, I want to become Blair Waldorf without Chuck Bass-for now."

Chuck nodded slightly, the grimmest slight of apprehension fluttering across his face.

"So. Where do we go from here?" Blair asked quietly, echoing his prior words.

"You're going to go to France. And I'm going to go to the office. When you come back we'll start over. I've said this before, but this time we'll take things slow this time."

"Do it right" she finished for him.

Chuck nodded, and there was a moment, more intimate than those past, as they stared into the others' eyes and nodded simultaneously.

…

"Are we doing the right thing?" Blair asked fearfully at the gate, turning to him, to his embrace.

"We'll be alright," he assured her "Just don't come back with any lords this time"

Blair rolled her eyes, "And don't go traipsing all over town with an army of skanks either"

"Been watching Mean Girls, have we?" Chuck asked with a smirk.

Blair glared at him "I was lonely"

His laugh, free and uninhibited, sent chills down her spine. "I mean it Bass. No one else"

"As long as the same goes for you," he retorted with another smirk. "Don't worry B, there won't be anyone else. And by the time we get ourselves reacquainted with our bed…" his voice trailed off suggestively, the smirk on his face growing. "Well, let's just say I doubt we'll be leaving the suite for a while"

"That would be…tolerable," Blair managed, working through the lust that seemed to have overtaken her senses.

Chuck laughed at her discomfort, before leaning down to kiss her one last time. Blair moaned in response, tangling her fingers in his hair.

"I have to go," she whispered when they finally broke apart.

"I know," he admitted "I'll leave you alone for six weeks. But once you get back Waldorf, all bets are off"

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she replied with a smirk.

…

_Six weeks later_

He was at the airport (Harold had told him when Blair's flight would be landing), peonies in hand as he watched the arrivals expectantly.

The past six weeks had not been spent drinking and flip-flopping from woman to woman. Instead, Chuck had funneled his pent-up frustration (of which there was a lot of. Thanks to Gossip Girl's posts of Blair in a bikini, Blair in a sundress, Blair in the tiniest dress he had ever seen…Actually, just pictures of Blair in general) into impressing the board with his first business venture as the reinstated CEO.

Boston, he had decided, was definitely in need of a place to escape, perhaps a speakeasy of sorts. The venue was picked out-but he wanted Blair's opinion on it this time. There had been other club openings and other important venues that had not gotten her seal of approval. By asking her opinion once again, as he had so many years ago at Victrola, he would cement her in her position by his side.

He did not expect her to fall into his arms, did not assume that they would share a bed tonight. Chuck had simply wanted to be the first to welcome her home, but he knew that he also needed to give her space. This break, if you could call it that, between them had been one of the best decisions in his life. He knew, that when they finally became Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck once again, it would last. The trust and the love that formed between them wouldn't be broken so easily.

"Chuck!" Her voice brought him out of his reverie, and suddenly all five feet, four inches of Blair Waldorf stood in front of him. Her skin was lightly sunkissed, her smile bright, and her eyes spoke volumes of _hope_.

"Blair," he returned, presenting the flowers to her with a flourish. "Welcome home"

"Home." Blair mused out loud, fingering the petals "New York is home"

Chuck nodded, and suddenly his arms were full of Blair, the rose scented tendrils of hair flying wildly about. Blair pulled back with a grin, a grin that quickly transformed into a sly grin.

"So you'll pick me up at seven?" She inquired innocently. "That should give me enough time to unpack. Or ask Dorota to unpack, at the very least. I wonder if she enjoyed her vacation from me. Oh, and I must see Lissa, I bought her the most gorgeous cashmere set from-"

"Blair," Chuck interrupted her "Blair," he repeated, a note of panic rising in his voice. "What's happening at seven?" he cautioned.

"Our first date," she told him with another smirk.

"Of course," Chuck smiled. "And where are we going for our first date?"

"I was thinking dinner at the Carlyle and a walk through Central Park."

"We don't have reservations," Chuck reminded her. Blair only zmirked again, turning towards her luggage.

"You'll figure it out," she assured him "You're Chuck Bass"

…

Chuck Bass had never been one to say, 'Pinch me, I think I'm dreaming'. But it was the only (admittedly, cheesy) phrase that came to mind at this moment.

It couldn't be real. Their dinner (at the Carlyle of course. He was Chuck Bass) had gone swimmingly, with Blair regaling him with tales of France, Roman, the vineyard, and her father. In turn, he had mentioned his rise to stardom within Bass Industries, along with the few-very small-pitfalls that were expected along the way. And now, as he walked through the streets of New York (Blair had decided that Central Park at ten o'clock was not her cup of tea), ice cream in one hand, the other entwined with Blair's, he wondered if it could be this simple.

Could love, complicated and unnerving, be quite so simple? It wasn't as boring as he'd expected. In fact, the sheer simplicity of it was a welcome respite from the weeks of scheming and fighting.

"So," he interjected into the comfortable silence "will you be staying over at the Palace tonight? Or is Eleanor in Milan again?"

"Chuck!" Blair admonished, "Too soon."

She tried to ignore the way his face fell, but a tiny smile crept up the corners of her lips. "I want us to do things right this time," she reminded him "we're not ready for that yet. Maybe after a few more dates…"

"I'll wait," he vowed, because he had come to realize that for Blair, he would do anything "until you think we're ready." Chuck paused "Until we _both_ think we're ready." He amended.

Blair giggled behind her ice cream, ignoring Chuck's inquiring gaze. He acted as if they were still blushing virgins, about to wait to lose their virginity on the perfect night. They were, she supposed, virgins to this game. Perhaps game wasn't the right word for it, she guessed _situation_ would be a better fit. They had never abstained from sex, as making love had been a crucial element of their relationship from the beginning. But now, they would finally have the chance to do things _right._

"And when it finally happens," Chuck told her in self-assuredly "I promise you'll see stars by the end of that night. We won't get out of bed for days."

Blair laughed again, shaking her head in mock disgust. Truthfully, she wouldn't have it any other way.

Watching her, grinning and laughing, Chuck couldn't help but lean over and kiss her on her smiling lips, tasting strawberry ice cream. Blair threw her arms around him eagerly, deepening the kiss with fervor. When they finally broke apart, the lust was evident in both their eyes.

Blair grinned. She wasn't so sure about Chuck (oh, who was she kidding? He was ready at this moment), but she would be ready in three weeks, tops.

* * *

fin


	13. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

* * *

When Corbin Bartholomew Bass is six and Alexis Charlotte Bass is two, Carter leans outside the stone column of St. Jude's and watches them from afar. He watches as Chuck takes his son's hand and leads him into St. Jude's Lower School, the young boy grinning admiringly up at his father. Carter is proud to admit that his son looked at him the same way just moments before.

It seems that Chuck Bass has all the time in the world for his family-a talent that Carter is trying to master. Sometimes he wonders what it would be like if he and Blair stayed together, but the thought is quickly banished when he realizes that it would never have worked out.

As of right now, Felicia, with her curly brown hair and bright blue eyes, filled the hole. In many ways, she was Blair. But in many other ways, she was her own person, and maybe, just maybe, this was one person he could truly love.

Chuck spots Carter outside the walls of St. Jude's, smoking like the teenager he was so many years ago, and he has the sudden urge to make his way over to his sworn enemy.

"Baizen," he acknowledges

"Bass." They are not friends, nor are they even acquaintances.

"I see you're back in New York."

Carter gives Chuck a puzzled look, and Chuck himself wonders what he is doing. He isn't sure exactly what pushed him to talk to Carter, but he gave up his jealous tendencies (well, most of them) a while back.

"Permanently," Carter supplies, "Mariah's family lives in Brooklyn and it'll be easier to have shared custody over Johnny this way."

Chuck nods, and the conversation halts, with Carter continuing to smoke while staring off into the distance.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around," Carter says, and then turns without another word, not giving Chuck a chance to respond.

…

After dinner at the Archibald's that night, Chuck will casually mention his run-in with Carter, and a tiny smile will appear upon Blair's ruby lips. (Chuck pretends not to notice)

Nate frowns slightly, and Serena laments over the Carter she remembers, before springing up to pull three year old Liam Archibald away from a screaming Alexis.

"Carter Baizen," Nate muses later

"With a kid," Chuck supplies "five or six. He doesn't look much older than Corbin"

"Wow," Nate smiles "I never thought I'd see the day."

He continues smirking, and Chuck has to resist the urge to slap his best friend upside the head while his princess is fast asleep in the crook of his arm.

"Spit it out Archibald"

Nate laughs. "You, and Carter. Settled down, married, and with kids"

Chuck may not resent Carter as much as he did before, but he sure as hell resents the comparison. "Carter's not married"

"Oh,"

And then his wife comes along with Alexis' coat in her hands; picking up their princess and promising Alexis she could sleep in the limo on the way home. Blair's presence makes everything right again.

Chuck watches as Blair slips on her own coat and adjusts Corbin's haphazardly messed hair. If it's even possible, he's more in love with her than ever before.

…

One night, they are all cuddled together in their entertainment room, some animated comedy or other playing on the generously sized screen.

Alexis is cuddled up to Chuck's side, always Daddy's little princess, when her eyes start to droop. Chuck laughs and picks her up, announcing bedtime while Corbin frowns at them all and tells them all he's "Six! I'm six, I tell you! And Johnny Baizen told everyone in show and tell today that he gets to go to sleep whenever he wants!"

Mr. and Mrs. Bass would normally argue this point, or at least refute the statement, but the child's last name draws a point of contention for both parents.

So Chuck just sighs, settling a half-asleep Alexis on her bed and returning back to Corbin and Blair.

….

"Can I bring a friend home tomorrow?" Corbin asks one day "I asked him if he would like to come over and play"

"Of course" Blair calls out from her place beside the oven. She is watching the apple pie like a hawk, careful not to let it burn. Blair Bass is not domestic, but she can bake pie like it's nobody's business. "Which friend?"

"Johnny. He tells the best stories. There's this one about his…"

Both Chuck and Blair tune out their son as they silently exchange glances of trepidation.

…

The playdate goes well, Blair thinks. Johnny is well-behaved (somewhat. As well-behaves as a five-almost-six-year-old could be) and he and Corbin remind her of a younger Chuck and Nate.

Carter himself comes to pick Johnny up, and when his son runs to him at the door, grinning and babbling excitedly about his day at the Basses', Blair wonders what it would've been like.

Victoria (who passed last year after fighting the second recurrence of cancer) flashes in her mind, and her words ring through Blair's ears. But Carter had married someone else, and had a child before Victoria had passed, granting his mother's last wish.

It's not a future that Blair envisions herself in, by Carter's side instead of Chuck's. Sometimes she wonders, wonders what it would be like if Carter's arms were around her at this moment.

The thought is quickly demolished when Chuck presses his lips onto her ear and whispers "I love _you_", and her children come bounding into the room-Corbin running to show them his painting and Alexis trying to keep up with her older brother. Blair will close her eyes and let the image of her second love go with no regrets, knowing that she made the right decision.

…

"Felicia Haile" the other woman says with a smile, and Blair scrutinizes her carefully. The gorgeous silk-print dress and lavender Louboutins speak volumes to Blair that trifling words cannot. This is a woman who knows her Bendels from Bergdorfs.

"Blair Bass," she returns, and in a rare moment, she bestows a genuine smile upon Felicia. "Is that dress Valentino? I recognize it from their spring collection."

Surprised, Felicia nods. "That's a gorgeous pair of shoes," she exclaims, nodding towards Blair's limited-edition pewter kitten heels. "Manolo, if I'm not mistaken? I hear they only made two hundred pairs."

"I know a guy," Blair says offhandedly, but even the most unobservant of spectators could tell that she was impressed. And Blair Bass does not impress easily.

To both Chuck and Carter's amusement (and astonishment), the two women walk off together, arms linked, heads bowed close, chatting about Choo and Armani, baby carriages and cheesecakes.

Bewildered, Chuck turns to look for Nate, knowing that his best friend would find this amusing as well. Upon finding the aforementioned dancing with Serena (if you could call that indecency dancing), he turns to Carter instead.

Inclining his head towards the bar, Chuck utters one word.

"Drink?"

…

It would be a long road to any semblance of friendship between the three. But Carter had gotten over Blair a long time ago, and around the same time she became Mrs. Blair Bass, Blair let go of becoming Mrs. Blair Baizen. It was a future that would be forever lost to the wind.

And as she kissed her husband on the lips, watching Carter and Felicia smile at each other out of the corner of her eye, she realized that this was the life she had chosen. The life she had wanted.

It was her life, for better or for worse. And she wouldn't have had it any other way.

* * *

**AN: Thank you all so very much for following me on this journey. I loved reading all of your reviews, and each and every one made my day. Special thanks to SaturnineSunshine for being such an amazing last-minute beta and to Isabelle for helping me get into Chuck's POV. I have a new story in the works (quite a few, actually, but we'll see which ones make the posting cut) that I will be trying to post soon.**

**With that, thanks again for your amazing reviews and I hope you've enjoyed the journey I've put Blair, Chuck, and Carter on. 'Twas quite a journey indeed.**


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